The Truth About Girls and Boys: Challenging Toxic Stereotypes About Our Children
By Caryl Rivers and Rosalind C. Barnett
“At a time when parents, teachers, and the public at large need real information, what they get instead is bias and misinformation, and both boys and girls are being harmed by the simplistic, stereotyped view of their ‘natures’…These powerful beliefs act as funnels, directing boys and girls into particular ways of being and behaving. We are told that girls can’t excel at math, and shouldn’t aspire to the highest levels of management, and that boys are hyperaggressive and can’t be nurturing or cooperative even if they want to. Children internalize such stereotypes at an early age, thus putting brakes on the fulfillment of their individual potential.”
Have you ever endured a family dinner or transcontinental flight with someone who will not shut up about how “science shows” that women’s brains are hardwired to nurture and men’s brains hardwired to make war and solve complex mathematical equations? If so, you can put that flamethrower down and pick up The Truth About Girls and Boys: Challenging Toxic Stereotypes About Our Children by Caryl Rivers and Rosalind C. Barnett. At times sarcastic, at times dry, but never less than passionate, this book is a fine hatchet job on the modern-day evolutionary psychology movement.
While the theoretical underpinnings of evolutionary psychology have been making the clinical rounds since Darwin himself published The Origin of Species in 1859, it wasn’t until the 1990s that the movement began to gain traction in popular culture, helped along by John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Therapists Michael Gurian and Leonard Sax subsequently published various bestsellers citing neurological evidence purporting to show that boys are “naturally” less emotional and intuitive than girls and learn better when they’re encouraged to move around a classroom, while girls learn better when they’re sitting quietly in their seats, listening to classical music. The “sugar and spice/snips and snails” trope wasn’t just a stereotype, these experts told us — just look at the facts, statistics, and MRIs that back it up.
The problem, say Rivers and Barnett, is that science says nothing of the sort. In fact, they argue, science — in the peer-reviewed, tightly controlled sense — says virtually the opposite. MRIs show no quantifiable differences between the size and structure of male and female brains, nor is there a significant gender gap in terms of mathematical ability. (Not surprisingly, there’s also no evidence for a “math gene.”) And as anyone who’s ever been through junior high school can tell you, girls are no more “innately” compassionate than boys. Rivers and Barnett state pointedly, “At the same time the mass media were promoting [a] narrative of uber-empathy, a conflicting narrative was gathering attention. ‘Mean girls,’ who bully, taunt, and humiliate their peers, were the subject of best sellers, magazine covers, and even a feature film starring teen idol Lindsey Lohan. How these rotten teens managed to be so loathsome to other girls despite their hardwired, caring brains is something of a mystery.”
Despite occasional minor gaps in the manuscript (an infant study discussed in Chapter Seven isn’t properly cited), Rivers and Barnett still make a pretty tight case for the argument that gender differences aren’t hardwired; they’re cultural and social, and to insist otherwise is to shortchange girls and boys. They counter the hard-wiring argument with citable clinical studies that illustrate the brain’s plasticity. They display the profound methodological errors and/or deliberate deceptions of which gender essentialists are often guilty, and they take the mainstream media to task for creating and falling for the hype of these uncredentialed few (Michael Gurian, for example, has no background in neuroscience) while ignoring extensive scientific evidence to the contrary. Those with a bias against reading extensive academic studies will be pleased to know that Rivers and Barnett’s writing style is entirely unpretentious while still offering intelligent, sophisticated arguments that counter media hype. The authors don’t shy from justifiable indignation, yet they still manage to present information that strengthens their argument and inspires readers to call the Gurians and Saxes of the world into question.
While the brain may be elastic, the spirit is often obsidian, so The Truth About Girls and Boys is most likely to find its niche among those already in agreement with its argument and those straddling the line between both camps. But at the very least, Rivers and Barnett have offered an important resource to those who care to actively debunk the “pink brain, blue brain” myth. Pack this book in your carry-on bag for your next family dinner or transcontinental flight.
Buy It RIGHT NOW. Run to the bookstore. Knock over children and old ladies if you have to. Just get your hands on this book!
