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Loneliness Amongst the Stars

  The sky hung like a vast painted ceiling. It filled Elfbones with an irrational fear. He had been staring up at it for too long. In the same way that thinking about a word for a long time can change it from familiar to uncanny, the stars no longer gave Elfbones the comfort they once did. The realisation of the scale of the stars to one individual, the unknown possibilities that sit hidden in the shadowy spaces between them - it all bore down on his mind. But as he lay on his back, the gentle undulation of the water eventually loosened his mind and relaxed his weary muscles.

  After swimming for quite some time, there had been no sign of land. Swimming in roughly the opposite direction to that of the ship, he thought he would have stood a good chance of finding some. And now he was exhausted.

  Elfbones remembered the night, collapsed by the riverside, looking up at the same sky. The same constellations, each in its proper place, stared back. Eventually, something replaced the fear and anxiety that had gripped his mind. A serene calm and feeling of detachment took their place. The blue comet had vanished. The sky felt less oppressive, as though a great handle had turned and lifted it to a more comfortable height. Yet the space between the stars seemed to grow. And, to his eyes, they seemed to be descending.

  This isn’t right, thought Elfbones. The constellations had shifted. None of the stars sat in the right place. They had moved. Somehow, without his noticing, they had reorganised themselves. And the comet! Comets don’t simply vanish. Elfbones felt the panic of waking up in a room that is not your own and waiting for the sluggish memory that places you there. There was no such revelation. No memory could explain it. The stars were wrong. Not only were they in the wrong place, but they no longer twinkled - they shone with a fierce intensity that didn’t waver. Unusually, his hair danced like a ribbon in a breeze. His eyes were ice - both feeling cold and held in position. He looked straight ahead, straight at those insistent lights. There was nowhere else he could look - it was impossible to look away.

  He was sure now that he was no longer lying on the surface. At some point, though he couldn’t remember it happening, he had turned over and sunk beneath. How he had brought the stars with him, he didn’t know. They were mesmerising and appeared to be growing. Growing or getting closer. Elfbones’ chest itched - a feeling that got stronger the closer he got to the lights. But they were not getting closer. They were stationary. He was moving towards them, being pulled somehow ever deeper into the depths of the sea. The itch in his chest pulled on him, much like the air in his chest had pushed him to the surface. Both forces acted on Elfbones at the same time, only one was much stronger. And it was pulling him deeper despite the air in his lungs.

  “Hello. What’s this?” came a voice that seemed to revolve around Elfbones’ head. Elfbones wanted to call out, to question the voice, to ask for help. But, somewhere between that thought and the action of speaking, his mind changed. The lights. Forget the voice. Think only of the lights.

  A shape rushed between him and the lights. An intense anger rose in Elfbones as the shape obscured the lights for just half a second. It passed between them several more times, each time angering Elfbones more.

  The lights were near. At this distance, it was clear to see that these were not stars. Each light sat on the tip of a tentacle. Each tentacle extended from a polyp encased in a stony finger. The fingers branched out, along with many others, from a base fixed amongst rocks. The coral colony stretched for meters in all directions. Its influence had pulled Elfbones to the bottom of the ocean.

  The lights were very close now. Elfbones could feel heat radiating off them. It was an electrical heat, and there was a charge in the water surrounding them. It pricked and popped the skin - little flashes of pain that Elfbones didn’t mind. Pain is nothing, the lights are all. To touch the lights. Oh! It is all I have ever wanted, thought Elfbones.

  Before his wish could be granted, a hand grasped beneath each arm and dragged him up and away from the lights. A fierce rage consumed Elfbones. “That was a close one, eh fella?” That voice again.

  “Let me go! I will kill you!” said Elfbones, a torrent of bubbles spewing from his mouth.

  “Oh, don’t say that.”

  Elfbones felt a body move with speed from behind him. It faced him, blocking the lights from view. Elfbones’ first instinct was to claw at the face. To gouge out the eyes of the creature that had put itself between him and his beloved lights. This feeling receded as he stared into two large glassy balls of onyx. He had never seen eyes so big. Or, at least, not so big in proportion to the face.

  “I am Hepo, and I would like to remain Hepo for a good while longer.”

  Hepo was roughly the same size as Elfbones and resembled a seal. In the dim coral light under the sea, Hepo’s skin appeared to be a mottled green with blooms of yellow here and there. And, whereas a seal has rather short, stubby front flippers, Hepo had arms. Still rather short and stocky compared to a human, but arms, with hands, four fingers on each. The most arresting features of all, though, were those eyes. They looked as though they could accommodate the whole of existence. Elfbones felt a strange comfort, staring into them. Hepo had a warm blanket of a stare. Elfbones was no longer entranced. He felt free to move and do as he wanted. He allowed himself to float there for a time and gaze into those eyes.

  “You’re free. See? I can do that. Good, isn’t it? They had you there for a while, didn’t they? They had you, but I saved you.” The words sped from Hepo’s mouth in a flurry. “You do believe me?”

  “What was that?” asked Elfbones. The words tumbled out of his mouth as he hung in the water.

  “You don’t believe me?” Hepo looked wounded.

  “No, no,” responded Elfbones with a total lack of urgency, speaking as though in a dream.

  “Honestly, you would have actually died. You would have become food. That’s what everything becomes after drifting down here.” Hepo said this in a very matter-of-fact manner. It would have concerned Elfbones had his mind been straight. “But not you! Because of good old Hepo here.” Hepo searched Elfbones’ unchanged face with longing eyes. Then, much to the distress of Elfbones, broke his gaze to look around before darting away. The distress did not last long, as the coral immediately entranced him again. Elfbones drifted downwards.

  Closer and closer he drifted, again enraptured by the lights. Then, without warning, Hepo returned, grabbing Elfbones by the head and yanking it to one side.

  “Look! Look here!” A wave of white hot rage washed over Elfbones. But, as soon as it arrived, it subsided as the spell of the lights lifted and he saw what Hepo was showing him. A fish. A dull grey, about the size of Elfbones’ hand, falling through the water. It was otherwise motionless. Its fins were still, yet it was moving straight forward. Down to where its glazed eyes were pointing - towards the coral. Elfbones watched, his head guided by Hepo, as the fish drifted towards the lights. Even falling once more under their spell, he watched, held in place by Hepo.

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  “Such beauty. Please let me go,” implored Elfbones in a dreamy sing-song manner.

  “Watch. You’ll see.”

  The fish fell and fell and fell before coming into contact with a light. Immediately, an electric charge filled the water. The lit tips of at least ten other tentacles speared the fish. They moved with such speed that neither Elfbones nor Hepo could be sure that they had seen any movement at all.

  Elfbones bathed in the glow of the murderous tentacles. But somewhere deep within the warm waters of his mind, there was a piercing scream. A howl from deep within his subconscious. The competing feelings turned his stomach. Hepo once again placed himself between Elfbones and the lights.

  “Move, you vile creature!”

  The anger soon passed.

  “You believe me now, I bet? I saved you. I don’t usually do that. Many things are pulled down here. Many tasty things. I get them before the lights. The tasty ones, anyway. I leave some for the lights. It’s only fair.”

  The uncertain feeling in his stomach had now found its way into Elfbones’ head. The emotional tug-of-war made him feel like overstretched elastic. Even though the water here was cool, he longed to feel a breeze against his face. He craned his head up to see the surface of the sea. It appeared like an enormous chest rising and falling, filling its lungs with the fresh air that Elfbones desperately wanted to taste.

  Attempting to kick his legs and swim up there, he found his limbs imbued with a familiar weakness. His head became heavy and fell forwards until it yet again faced the sea floor and the danger that lived there.

  Staring again into the colossal void of Hepo’s gaze, all strength left him. He couldn't even express the fleeting rage he felt when denied a view of his beloved lights.

  Hepo was immune to the influence of the coral. That much was clear. And, while they were face to face, he shared this immunity with Elfbones.

  “I am genuinely thrilled! I’m sure you can tell. It is a lonely sea that I call home. No-one like me or you around here. Just fish and lights, lights and fish. Fish are so stupid. Can’t hold a conversation, don’t understand the most basic games. Stupid,” said Hepo, holding Elfbones firmly by the shoulders. “I met a whale once. It was so boring. The lights and I ate well for a month.” Hepo grinned sheepishly. The grin widened as Hepo span Elfbones around and around. “Now I’ve met you!”

  “Can you stop? Please. I feel unwell.”

  “It will pass. It’s just the lights, I’m sure.”

  “No, I don’t think so. Well, it is that, but also the spinning.”

  Hepo stopped spinning.

  “Sorry. I got carried away. I’m so excited to have a friend,” said Hepo.

  “Could you take me up to the surface, please?” The fizzing sensation in Elfbones’ chest had subsided. This triggered a horrible realisation - the effects of the tablet were wearing off. If he didn’t return to the surface soon he would drown.

  “Why would you want to go up there? You’ll get thrown about by waves, struck by boats, and laughed at by nasty birds.”

  “Please,” Elfbones pleaded, “I don’t belong down here. That’s where I come from.”

  “Up there?” Hepo looked at Elfbones’ arms and legs. “No, these limbs suggest you are a land-based animal. Up there is no good for you. And, in the absence of any land in the vicinity, you’re best off here with me.”

  “But I need to breathe air.”

  “You’re doing alright at the moment,” said Hepo. “You’re having me on. You tease. I can see we’re going to have fun.”

  “I can’t stay here.”

  Hepo ignored this.

  “We should play a game. There will be plenty of time to get to know each other later. We should play a game. That will be fun. I haven’t had fun in such a long time.”

  Elfbones’ brain was a deflated balloon. He tried to think of a reply, but made a pathetic groan instead.

  “Hide and seek,” said Hepo with excitement. “I’ll hide.”

  Hepo turned to swim away, then stopped.

  “No, that won’t work, will it? The lights. Ok, you hide and I’ll seek.”

  Hepo let go of Elfbones and placed his hands over his eyes. Elfbones sighed as the tickle returned to his chest, and he sank again.

  “Ah, foo!” Hepo grabbed Elfbones by the shoulders and pulled him upwards. “I think we may have to come up with a new game. No problem. What could it be?”

  Something behind Elfbones caught Hepo’s eye.

  “Friend, I will be back in a moment. Don’t worry. One moment.” And with a swish, Hepo vanished. Elfbones’ chest tightened and his stomach twisted into a knot. He began to wish the lights were much closer.

  Almost exactly a moment later, Hepo returned.

  “This will be fun,” Hepo said and placed a mass of seaweed on Elfbones’ head. “Dressing up! So much fun.”

  Hepo slapped a similar amount of seaweed on his own head.

  “We could be twins! Our own mother couldn’t tell us apart.” He burst into laughter.

  “I don’t want to do this anymore,” Elfbones’ voice was a whisper.

  “Nonsense. It’s fun. We’re having fun.”

  “I need to sleep,” implored Elfbones, more with his eyes than his voice.

  “What’s sleep?”

  Elfbones stared into Hepo's wide, lidless eyes and realised the genuine horror of his predicament. This creature didn’t sleep. Elfbones’ life depended on it, but Hepo never stops. With what little strength was left in his body, Elfbones pawed at Hepo’s face. He tried to push it away, to break the gaze, to drop and meet his fate amongst the coral. It was like dragging a wet cloth across a rock.

  “Ahh. I love you too, friend,” said Hepo.

  Elfbones felt his mind folding in on itself. It had locked the doors, turned off the lights and was trying its best to vanish.

  “Ok, back to play,” said Hepo. “We are brothers,” — he pointed to the seaweed wigs — “in business together. But our business is in danger from an evil baron.” Hepo waved a hand towards the coral. “I am non-confrontational and keen to cut a deal. But you are a hot-head. Young and with nothing to lose. You can’t —” Hepo froze.

  Their eyes no longer met, and Elfbones noticed he didn’t feel the influence of the coral. In fact, strength flowed back into every muscle. Not a lot - he was still exhausted - but enough that he no longer felt completely overwhelmed. Looking down, to his surprise all the little lights had gone out. The tentacles had receded into their protective casings. He followed Hepo’s stare up to the surface. There were three shadows moving across the fractured moonlight. Three figures moving across the sea. Not touching the surface - there were no ripples or wakes - but seeming to float a small distance above it.

  He grasped the moment and kicked for the surface.

  “No,” Hepo whispered and reached for Elfbones. But Elfbones was out of reach and Hepo was unwilling to follow.

  Elfbones breached the surface. Water poured across his eyes as they adjusted to the cool night air. He wiped at his face, needing to see where the shadows had gone. If they had moved too far away, he feared that the lights of the coral would return. Or worse - he would return to the unending games of Hepo.

  His eyes cleared and adjusted to the moonlight. Ahead of him, three figures, the same three figures seen atop the ship as it sailed towards the horizon. They stood upright, unmoving, but were travelling away from him somehow.

  Elfbones swam. It was almost impossible - his arms and legs were dead weights. He had to keep up with the figures. The creatures below were afraid of them, and Elfbones intended to make the most of that fear in order to escape. Who the figures were and what they might do to him were of no concern. His chances were potentially better up here with them than down below.

  Every stroke set his muscles aflame, and didn’t seem to move him forward at all. The three figures were still moving away, but by how much it was hard to judge. His arms and legs flapped against the water, sending ripples that bombarded his face. He had little strength to keep it above the surface, and his nose and mouth were filling with water. Air burst from his lungs to blow the water from his airways. Then another face-full hit before he could take a breath. What had been a steady swimming stroke became desperate flailing. All buoyancy seemed to leave his body.

  Elfbones was slipping beneath the surface. His vision collapsed into a narrowing black tunnel. He resigned himself to his fate beneath the waves with Hepo and the coral. Then he thought he saw the figures stop. He couldn’t be sure, but they didn’t seem to be getting any further away. Elfbones succumbed to the exhaustion. As the water enveloped him, he thought he saw one of the three figures turn and look straight at him.

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