The evening sun painted the townscape a soft shade of red. It was late summer Friday night. The gentle wind gave everyone a sense of relief. The town started to light up, every bar turned on their unimpressive sign, and started to get filled with eager patrons.

  For an outsider, the town felt like home. Friendly locals, no violent criminals and a sense of community. Most locals felt that way too. But for those who carried a burning passion and no resolve it was a ball and chain. A place where dreams die. They were far and between, hiding their existence, suffering every second. If they tried to voice their feelings the locals would just call them spoiled brats. With nobody to share their pain they wasted their days, trying to cheer themselves with worldly desires.

  Patrich Cole, stumbled out of his ride share. He looked at the red sunset, but his expression did not change. Meanwhile others took advantage of this rare phenomena using it to take romantic pictures. Patrich put on a deep voice..

  "The Crimson Moon Will Rise"

  It did not mean anything. At most it was a coping mechanism to deal with his boring daily life. Patrich was convinced the world owed him everything. If he didn't say the phrase, this unique sight was not going to brighten his day. But today was different, even his chuunibiyou antics didn't help. This afternoon he was fired from his job at the supermarket for "inappropriate customer interactions". It was his third job this month. All fired from for the same reason. Patrich was not only crude when speaking to others, he barely had any manners. He constantly harassed women in the fruits and veggies aisle with lines like.

  "Mayhaps I squeeze thy melons milady. I'm professional quality checker"

  "Wait till I get off, we'll pop those cherries together"

  "Extra virgin olive oil? Funny… I’m hoping to change that status tonight."

  For the last year his life consisted of shitty jobs, failed pick up attempts and substance use to dull his feelings. And that’s just what he was going for tonight.. He tried weed, xanax, promethazine and a bunch of other pills he wasn't sure about. But alcohol was his poison of choice. Barely scrapping by, he decided to pre-game before going out. But his pre-game became just flat out drinking alone in his dark and damp apartment.

  Patrich was itching to find a girl drunk enough to go back to his place. He knew he was already extremely intoxicated, even though the night just started. He was self-aware, he just didn't care. The self proclaimed "Player" went from bar to bar. Most of his attempts to pick up girls stopped at the entrance blocked by a bouncer. And even when he managed to enter, he just got thrown out after girls started complaining. And their complaints were fully justified. Patrich was a crass talker and got very touchy when he drank. His pickup lines were genuinely disgusting.

  "Nice legs… what time do they open?"

  "Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you… and I still wanna fuck you in a handicapped spot."

  "Are you a pirate? Because I’ve got a big treasure chest and I’m looking for your booty hole."

  It was already dark. Patrich went to the last place he hasn't been to yet.

  "Oh, I'm having my fun one way or another."

  Luckily for him this place had seating outside during warm seasons so there was no bouncer to thwart his attempts. He was surprised that a bar on the main street had no security. Cars, trucks and motorcycles were speeding on this street, leaving a line of light behind them. He quickly went inside, grabbed a drink and went out again to scope out a baddie. And there she was. A blonde bombshell 10/10. Her tight tye dye dress emphasized all the right places. Patrich knew he had no chance. He just looked at her chest.

  "Ripe for pickin, fuck it."

  He didn't care about the consequences he just had to. He walked up to her, and put his hand on her left breast. They stared at each other for a second. Before Patrich could occupy his other hand the girl started screaming and instantly backed away. Her boyfriend turned around and got the idea. He called Patrich a creep and started to push him away. Patrich being a weak loser could not fight back. He just put his arms up and hoped for a light beating. Blondie’s boyfriend was disgusted at how cowardly Patrich was and forcefully pushed him into traffic. Next came a speeding truck. It hit Patrich.

  Impact.

  Blackout.

  ?????

  White void. Patrich laid on a non-perceivable floor, passed out drunk. Multiple white figures floated around him in a perfect circle. Their outlines being just slight shadows to distinguish them from the void. Their glow was even brighter than the whiteness of the void.

  One figure shouts with concern.

  "Odd... the summoned soul is unconscious. This has never happened before. A flaw in the ritual? The trip was perfect. What blessing would we even give to him ?"

  Another with female features added with a stern voice.

  "Perhaps the mortal's spirit is weak or unworthy. Should we select another? The shadow over Pangea grows daily – we cannot afford delay."

  The third says with a serious tone.

  "Weak or not, we need a warrior. Wake him or scrap him."

  Ikol, the god of mischief, chuckled to himself quietly.

  "How sad this pathetic fool's life had to be. He would’ve died, passed out from poisoning, not even understanding how."

  Ideas ran through Ikol’s head of how fun it would be to follow this loser, if only everything worked out for him.

  The first figure talks again with a tremble in his voice.

  "We can't even introduce ourselves to him, what should we do ?"

  Ikol answered with absurd scenarios playing in his head.

  "My dear siblings, this is a rare opportunity. The poor soul was clearly meant for greatness, but fate tripped him. Literally, from the look of it. Let us correct this injustice with a generous gift. After all, it's not every day a summoning goes so... cosmically wrong."

  "What do you propose, trickster?"

  "Inevitable Triumph. A blessing where every desire, every attempt – no matter how misguided or foolish – will eventually succeed. Only fitting for one denied by cruel chance. Imagine the stories! The entertai-. I mean the good he'll do."

  The god of scales expressed his deep voice.

  "Those in favor, shave your soul."

  Over half of the figures shaved their souls. Some genuinely wanted to help a poor soul, others like Ikol wanted entertainment. Their soul shavings transformed into a ball and shot right inside Patrich.

  One figure with a gentle voice declared.

  "Be on your way, the hurt one, best of luck to you"

  Patrich started to glow and woke up. Only for a fraction of a second he saw the white void. He was instantly transported to the castle in the kingdom of Aldric on the continent of Pangea.

  ?????

  Patrich woke face-down on cold marble, cheek pressed to the cold floor, mouth tasting like iron, whiskey, and regret. His head throbbed like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it. It was the hangover from hell. Groaning, he pushed himself up on shaking arms, blinking against bright light that felt like knives to his eyes.

  The priestess was surprised. It's the first time a summoning in the kingdom of Aldric worked. They had no idea that the summoning ritual was just an act and the real reason Patrich was here was due to Gods. She looked at the king and with a joyful relief proclaimed to the court..

  "It worked my lord. Peace may be upon our land"

  The king stepped out of his throne with a stern face. He looked at the summoned "hero" and started talking.

  "Stand up, o brave one, one who came to us in an hour of our need. The kingdom of Aldric and the whole Pangea calls out to you to restore its once forgotten peace."

  It was purely a political play. Aldrich’s territory was peaceful, only tainted by occasional bandits. Every dangerous beast was hunted to extinction decades ago. The king’s plan was to conquer neighboring lands by “Evil purging” quests.

  Patrich looked around. Head still spinning. He was in a vast ballroom – chandeliers of crystal dripping light like frozen waterfalls, long tables laden with roasted meats, fruits, and pastries that smelled amazing even through his nausea. Nobles in silk and velvet stared at him from a safe distance, whispering behind fans. Music played softly from a string quartet in the corner. Spatial distortions still appeared in patches near him.

  "Where the hell am I ? Ugh. I know hangovers can get bad but I feel like I was hit by a truck. Wait... Am I dead ?"

  The crowd gasped. The king draped in expensive robes stepped forward from the throne. His face pale and sickly, but still a commanding look enforced by a golden crown and scepter. Beside him stood his daughter, Princess Alixa – stunningly beautiful, waist-length violet hair flowing wildly, sharp deep-green piercing eyes, wearing an elegant silver gown that hugged her figure perfectly, high neckline but accentuating her curves. Only a snow fox fur draped over her shoulders looked out of place.

  Patrich, still believing he's dreaming, started blinking. Once he spotted princess Alixa he stopped blinking. His stomach may be rumbling but all he could think about now was the gorgeous princess. As if his fantasy had become real, only one complaint came to his noggin.

  "Her knockers COULD be bigger tho."

  With all his might he attempted to stand up. Pushing past the pain and the nausea. He didn't want to get embarrassed before the beautiful princess. He adjusted himself, straightened his posture and struck a pose. Looking down, one hand with the finger pointing up towards the ceiling at the chandelier light, the other just dangling.

  By the time he stood up he understood the situation he's in. He was familiar with Isekai stories. He often even wished he could be one of those protagonists. And here he stood. Holding back his stupid smile, trying to look cool. He understood nothing about this new world, but it didn't stop him from embarrassing himself. He took a deep breath and started shouting with a fake deep voice, the kind kids used on online chatrooms to seem cooler.

  "PEOPLE OF PAN... PEOPLE OF PANLAND... STOP WORRYING... I AM WHEREWWWWWWWWWWWW....."

  If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  That's all he could muster before vomiting all over the royal marble.

  The king circled around his finger in the air. The maids quickly took him away. The two maids pinched their noses due to Patrich's stench. The last thing Patrich heard in that room was the king saying.

  "Due to teleportation the hero need a little rest"

  And the last thing the loser saw was princess' concerned face. It made him devilishly happy. He had picked his next target.

  "Imagine me... and the princess. I'd love that little piece of ass."

  The white void flashed. It was the first activation of Inevitable Triumph. The gods were surprised the power activated so quickly, minutes after his transportation.

  A small child-like figure exclaimed with joy.

  "Our noble hero! He started his quest minutes after arriving in the new world!"

  The maids were first to confirm that the "hero" was just incredibly hungover. Patrich had already passed out again. The disgusted maids washed his body.

  "Look, Linda, he has no muscle. What kind of a hero is he? I bet he couldn't even defeat a simple bandit."

  That was true. The world of Pangea didn't have any different standards for muscles from earth. Patrich was just that pathetic. He had almost no muscle. But he wasn't fat either. A standard person from earth would call him "lanky" or "skinny-fat". Next the maids washed his black slicked back, gel-ridden hair. There was so much gel in it felt like a helmet.

  "Sandra, his hair... It's so stiff. But it doesn't look dirty."

  "Maybe that's a head protection they use in his world. Still we should at least try to wash it."

  After washing him, shaving him and dressing him in proper noble clothes the two women carried him to the guest quarters.

  ?????

  The afternoon sun was scorching the castle bricks. Clear sky. It was a perfect day for an adventure. One particularly annoying ray shined right through Patrich's rooms’ blinds. It hit him right in the left eye. He quickly got up, full of excitement.

  "Power.... I Need... MORE POWER"

  He may have just said it as a joke. But his divine blessing the Inevitable Triumph noted it down instantly. He opened a window in his room to get some fresh air. The first thing that caught his eyes was a courtyard right below his room. The knights were practising their swordsmanship there. They weren't wearing any armor. But even a regular person could observe their discipline and come to a conclusion that they were knights. Patrich looked down and realized he's only on the second story. He checked for his earthly belongings before jumping out but found nothing. The maids probably tossed it out as junk. It wasn't a big loss, phone with a dead battery, almost empty wallet, dollar store pocket knife and a pair of keys to his apartment. The only item he missed was a cheap star shaped necklace. It held sentimental value for him. It reinforced his chuunibyou persona.

  "Whatever, I don't even want that crap. I’ll become a star myself."

  He mustered the courage to drop from the window to the courtyard. By the time he did it. The knights were gone. There were only a couple of kids playing around with their wooden swords there. One of the swords caught the "hero's" attention. It was a wooden katana.

  "A weapon perfect for a samurai like me..."

  Patrich looked around the corner of the courtyard and saw an interesting looking stone. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. He walked up to the kid with the wooden katana.

  "Hey kid, nice sword you have there."

  "You look creepy, mister."

  "Haven't you heard ? I am the HERO sent here to bring PEACE to the world of PANGEA. And I think your sword would help immensely."

  "And what's in it for me ?"

  "Hmmm... mayhaps... no... it's too powerfull..."

  "Just spit it out mister."

  "I have this meteor from my world. If you hold it you become 100x stronger."

  The kids eyes started to glow for a second but immediately went back to normal when scepticism hit. Patrich quickly gave a trading offer before the kid could think too much about it.

  "So, you in or nah ? If you don't want it I'll just sell it to merchants. they won't say no to this power.."

  "Fineee..."

  The kid gave the katana to Patrich. Patrich's lips formed a slight devilish smile. He threw the stone.

  "You can trust me kid, try it, punch that log right there"

  The kid wound up his arm preparing for a powerful punch.

  BAM!

  The kid slammed his fist right into the log. He didn't get hurt but the pain was stinging like a bee. The kid, furious, turned around, but Patrich was nowhere near in sight.

  "Whatever... my dad will just make a new one."

  ?????

  Not knowing if summoning would work, the King planned a ball anyway. It would have worked out in both scenarios. If the summoning was unsuccessful it would be a way to cheer people up. If it was successful it would be a celebration for the new hero who will bring ”peace” to Pangea.

  The ball started in the evening. Patrich spent half the day laughing about how he tricked the kid and admiring his brand new stolen wooden katana. His stupid-happy grin would make even the most rational people want to punch him.

  It was an open style ball. No seating except for the king, his daughter and the advisor.

  The tables were filled with exotic foods: what looked like a roasted boar glistening with sauce, fresh green tinted bread, never seen fruits dripping juice. Calm lutes and harps danced around the murmur of the hall with their notes, not too loud, not too quiet, giving the ball a noble but fun feel.

  The "hero" was in a hurry to celebrate, he had already forgotten the horrible hangover he had this morning. He wasn’t one to pig out on food, instead he was basically stationed near huge jugs filled with ale. It was unlike modern beer Patrich was used to. It could be best described to an earth person as a "seaweed-mead". After a while he was tired of the taste and just gulped it down while pinching his nose. Chatters around the room started pointing out the hero for his lack of manners, some just chucked it out to "otherworldly customs".

  Patrich saw the princess in one of the corridors that connected to the hall. The corridor was empty. Alixa's silver gown flowing, her hair flowing, her figure perfect under the dim corridor light.

  "Finnaly, my chance. I'll show you a good time little princess..."

  He stumbled through the crowd, bumping nobles who gasped. He got near the princess. And barely made out a sentence.

  "P.. Pr.. Princess… How about a private dance? Just you and me."

  Alixa turned to him. Her expression shocked, eyes narrowed. Patrich continued.

  "The hero asked... you could at least appreciate his efforts and open your royal legs for him.."

  The pervert focused on Alixa's moderately sized chest, tightly squeezed by her silver gown. Only a white fox fur hid her chest’s sides.

  Patrich reached boldly with his open palm, locked in on her right breast. His movement- sloppy and slow. Alixa dodged gracefully.

  "You scum, how dare you disgrace a royalty"

  His palm didn’t connect, Alixa had moved too quickly for him to adjust. All the force he had put in the advance made him tilt and start falling. While going down his hand caught the princesses’ fur scarf. A small vial fell out of it and rolled surprisingly far, stopping under a nearby table. The drama was too good, nobody noticed it, everyone’s attention was directly on the hero and the princess.

  Alixa, face crimson with rage and shame shouted.

  "Guards! Take him away"

  The entire court froze – music stopping abruptly with a twang, all eyes on the princess screaming in shock and humiliation as she covered herself with arms, face burning red.

  Patrick, on the ground with his hands still in the air as if reaching fantasized.

  "Not mad I got caught, just disappointed I didn't even touch her softies. I bet they feel like clouds."

  She picked up her scarf without realising the vial was gone and put it back on.

  Patrich was thrown into a spacious dungeon near his quarters. The spacious spell had two benches on each side of the wall. He appreciated this royal treatment.

  Alixa was so embarrassed she didn't want to show her face to the nobles so she stayed the rest of the evening in her room.

  The king couldn't believe it.

  "The hero did that ? No way. There must be another explanation"

  ?????

  The ball ended without any more mishaps. The maids were cleaning the hall, they checked under the table and found a small glass vial.

  Breakfast was just around the corner, Alixa prepared to do her routine. She tried grabbing the vial out of her scarf... But it wasn't there.

  "The hero, he must have taken it when he grabbed the scarf!"

  Maids reported their findings to the king's advisor. The advisor summoned an alchemist to check its contents. The tests came positive for a poison. The alchemist explained the effects of that particular kind. The king and his advisor were shocked. The effects matched the king's illness. He connected the dots.

  "But I am extremely careful, my daughter checks every meal I eat... Wait… It’s her, and the hero… Could he have figured it out."

  They checked Alixa quarters and found the scarf she left behind. A secret pocket was the perfect size for the vial. But she was already gone, heading out toward the hero's holding cell.

  The king, his advisor and a couple of knights also headed out to the hero’s cell to get intel. They had to know how the hero knew about the poison and were prepared to apologise for the misunderstanding.

  Earlier Alixa arrived, wearing another, an even tighter dress, eyes filled with determination. The dungeon was dim, empty cells, guards still hungover from the ball and not patrolling closely. In a seductive voice she began talking to Patrich

  "We need to talk, hero. You took something from me last night… Perhaps we can come to a mutually pleasurable agreement. One that ensures your silence."

  She entered the cell, closing the door softly, and pushed him back onto the ground with surprising strength, straddling him, her dress riding up thighs.

  "Didn’t expect door service from royalty. Let's make this quick and memorable."

  Patrich finally got a handful of her royal breasts.

  "Jackpot"

  He lifted his other hand to put on her ass. In the same instance the king, his advisor and a handful of guards flooded the cell.

  What the king saw ? His daughter leaning in for a kiss on top of the perverted hero, his hand full and squeezing the princess' breast, his other hand courageously heading towards her butt despite the event that just happened.

  The princess turned her head and froze in horror, instantly becoming pale.

  "What are you doing here ? Your treason is exposed, daughter. The vial from your scarf – the poison killing me slowly. And you, summoned one, I misjudged you harshly. You deliberately took her scarf to reveal this and save my life. A true hero's act."

  The princess, still in shock on top of him. Patrick winked at the kind and gave him a big approving smile.

  "Yes sir. That was definitely my plan."

  Alixa got back to her senses, she quickly jumped from Patrich's lap. Stood up straight and foolishly tried to talk herself out of this situation.

  "Father, I- it was a mistake-"

  "SILENCE!"

  The king paced around the cell out of frustration.

  "I will not execute the hero the gods sent, nor my own blood. But neither will remain here. Banishment for both - immediate."

  Alixa bursted out at the hero.

  "I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU."

  ?????

  They left Patrich with a pouch of gold as "gratitude for saving the king from poisoning" as well as his cheap star pendant. The maids didn't throw it out since it looked like jewelry. Gaining back his sacred “artifact” cheered him up. It was a catalyst that formed his new persona.

  "Almost nailed a princess, exposed a coup without trying, got paid, and only got banished. Not bad for a hangover."

  For the first time Patrich was outside of the castle in the world of Pangea. The castle was on the hill with a market right by its entrance. He could see the far mountains, the angry seas, the bright blue sky and the green hills nearby. It filled him with excitement for new opportunities. The hero turned back to the castle gates and screamed.

  "JUST WATCH ME I'LL COME BACK"

  He held the necklace tightly in his hand. It randomly came to his head. He had no explanation for it other than "it felt right". Still high on the steps he turned around to face the market, grabbed his wooden katana he stole from a child, held it high pointing to the sky and announced at the top of his lungs to the whole kingdom.

  "I am the gale sent from the darkness to conquer your world, I AM EMPEROR VORTEX THE UNYIELDING"

  Many chucked it up to be just another crazy guy. But from that day Patrich became "Vortex the Unyielding" or Vex for short. Traveling the lands with his wooden katana.

  The princess was banished later to avoid conflicts between her and the hero.