I was exhausted.

  Not the normal kind of exhausted, like “I walked a lot today” exhausted, but the kind where my soul felt like it had been dragged across the Demon Realm, trampled by a marching band, polished, and then forced to sparkle again.

  For nearly two full hours, I had been paraded like an attraction.

  “Again! Again!”

  “Transform one more time!”

  “Do the shiny part!”

  Every time I sneezed, my body exploded into blinding light like I was starring in a low-budget magical girl anime, complete with dramatic sound effects the system added without asking.

  Achoo—fsh!

  Achoo—sparkle!

  Achoo—dramatic choir noises for some reason!

  At some point, I stopped questioning it and just waved like a mascot.

  If this was what being a Demon Lord meant, then honestly?

  This was already vioting multiple human rights ws.

  Well... we're demons though.

  And don’t even get me started on the said legendary name.

  Geh–Tú–Gán...

  Getgun...

  Whatever gun...

  Better than Nugget, sure.

  But only by a very thin, very sad margin.

  Still…

  I figured this was the least I could do for them on my first day as Demon Lord.

  They looked so happy... like starving vilgers being shown fireworks for the first time.

  Unfortunately, my body disagreed.

  [Status: 5% HP — Low Health Point!]

  The warning popped up mid-cheer, floating right in front of my face.

  [Announcement: Opening Ceremony Ended! Thank you for your participation.]

  “Oh my lord!” a sharp, elegant voice excimed.

  The demons remained wildly unorganized, the hallway dissolving into chaos as several of them stubbornly refused to leave the castle.

  “The Demon Lord needs to rest, back off!” a guard shouted, shoving the lingering demons down the corridor before smming the doors shut.

  A female demon in a perfectly ironed maid uniform hurried toward me. Her silver hair was tied up neatly, not a single strand out of pce. Every step she took screamed discipline. Her posture was so straight it looked painful.

  “My lord! You need to rest immediately!” she decred.

  “…Thanks,” I said weakly, squinting at her. “But… who are you?”

  Her eyes widened.

  It was like I had just handed her the meaning of life.

  “It is an honor beyond words that you finally ask my name, my lord!” she said dramatically, pcing a hand over her chest.

  Wow...

  She was really into this.

  “The name is Grando,” she announced proudly. “I am the Demon Lord’s personal maid.”

  The air shimmered.

  [System Loading…]

  [Initializing Vassals…]

  [Acquired New Vassal: Grando — Vassal of Pride]

  [Grando Affection +1]

  “…Oh,” I muttered. “That expins a lot.”

  Grando lifted her chin even higher, if that was physically possible.

  “I have served faithfully since the 1st generation of Demon Lord!” she decred, chest puffed out like she was expecting appuse.

  I blinked.

  “…Seriously?”

  “Yes!” she said proudly. “I have witnessed history itself!”

  “…Wow,” I said honestly. “You must be really old.”

  Her smile twitched.

  “…I prefer the term timeless, my lord.”

  Right. Not touching that.

  “So,” I said quickly, “Charmie too?”

  Grando shook her head. “No. She began serving from the 2nd generation onward.”

  “I see…” I nodded, then paused. “…Wait. How many vassals are there, exactly?”

  Grando folded her hands neatly.

  “The prophecy states that the number of vassals matches the number of the Demon Lord’s generation,” she expined.

  “The 1st had only me. The 2nd had me and Charmie. And so on.”

  My eyes widened.

  “…So I’ll have seven vassals?”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  I pumped my fist.

  “Yes! Free bor!”

  Grando gasped.

  “My lord...!”

  [Status: 4% HP — Extreme Low Health Point!]

  “…You are about to die!” she shouted.

  “Okay, okay, rest first,” I said quickly. “Where’s my bed?”

  Grando turned around.

  And gestured.

  To the stone coffin.

  I blinked.

  Then blinked again.

  Then rubbed my eyes.

  “…That’s a coffin.”

  “Yes.”

  “…It’s cold.”

  “Yes.”

  “…And extremely uncomfortable.”

  “Yes.”

  “…That’s not a bed.”

  “My lord,” Grando said solemnly, “this is where you sleep.”

  “…Why?”

  She hesitated.

  “…We couldn’t afford a proper bed.”

  Oh...

  I froze.

  The realization hit me like a sp.

  The demons weren’t just chaotic.

  They were poor.

  Like, no furniture poor.

  I sighed. “Fine. I’ll sleep there.”

  I y down inside the coffin, staring at the ceiling.

  Then...

  “My lord,” Grando said, “you must pose correctly.”

  “…Pose?”

  She demonstrated, crossing her arms over her chest like a mummy.

  “You have to sleep like this so the system can read your posture.”

  “…You’re kidding me.”

  “I would never lie to you.”

  [Status: 2% HP — Extreme Low Health Point!]

  “…I hate this stupid outdated system.”

  I crossed my arms and closed my eyes.

  It felt awful.

  Like hugging myself while being judged by fate.

  [Status: Charging HP…]

  “…It actually works,” I muttered.

  [Announcement: The Demon Lord is sleeping.]

  Which Demon Lord designed this system…?

  I hope you’re now a burning mummy in hell, forced to sleep in that stupid pose forever.