“I have the food!”

  “Thanks.”

  Lusia brought me to the mall because she wanted to know if some movie from the cinema could get my interest. Due to a misunderstanding with the hour, we ended up meeting later than we were expecting, so we decided to eat something first.

  I ended up choosing a simple hamburger with cheese and bacon, while Lusia ordered a chicken one.

  “Maybe I should draw my hamburger…”

  “Are you still trying to draw something good?”

  “I just want to feel that satisfaction again…”

  “Perhaps you only felt it because it was a project that was finally finished. That happens to me sometimes.”

  As always, her answer made sense. But it would only be true in another context...

  “I know it was different from that feeling…”

  “If you say so.”

  “... Where are the napkins?”

  “Dang it, I forgot to bring that.”

  “I can go.”

  “No, I can do it.”

  “All right...”

  When Lusia left her seat, I decided to use this time without her to continue a drawing I was doing last night.

  “I should put a ring here…”

  Leaving aside the emotional aspect, my drawing practice was going quite well. At first, I tried to draw objects or whole bodies, but now I was experimenting with parts.

  Drawing the arms, legs, and hands individually was completely different from drawing the entire body. This was probably because I tend to simplify those parts due to their difficulty.

  “It works.”

  I used my own hand as a reference, so all my previous tries looked the same, only changing the angle and maybe a tiny part when I committed a mistake with the proportions.

  “...”

  After finishing this one, I saw it, and I can totally say I did it pretty well. Still, I noticed that I didn’t enjoy it either, so I put my notebook back in my bag.

  “This is so confusing…”

  When we did our project, I knew exactly what I enjoyed, so I started with that. When repeating it didn’t satisfy me, I tried to do a lot of things, thinking that maybe I just needed to keep trying, but I still can’t understand what I’m doing wrong. In fact, I'm pretty sure it gets more unsatisfactory each time.

  “I have the napkins!”

  “Thanks.”

  While I cleaned my hands with one of the napkins, I continued trying to understand what I did wrong. Lusia realized something was wrong, so she started poking my cheeks.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “That is your conflicted expression.”

  “Really?”

  I grabbed my cheeks and pulled at them, trying to see how they were. But all I noticed was that they hurt.

  “...”

  “You know you can just see your own face with the camera of your phone, right?”

  “... Oh.”

  “Why am I the one telling you about things you can do with your phone?”

  “...”

  “Well, what is bothering you?

  Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

  “I tried again with the drawings, and I failed again.”

  “Let me see them.”

  “Okay.”

  I handed my notebook to Lusia, and she looked at every single page.

  “The quality is pretty decent. At least from my non-expert eyes, you’re good.”

  “I know.”

  “And you clearly did your best with the few colored ones.”

  “Totally.”

  “So it's not about the drawing itself... I know, try drawing me.”

  “Huh?”

  “You drawed me here, but you don’t have a portrait.”

  “A portrait…”

  “Tell me a pose.”

  “Hmm… Rest your arm on the table, with the elbow touching it.”

  “Like this?”

  Lusia quickly understood what I wanted and positioned her right arm exactly as I imagined.

  “Now put your hand on your cheek.”

  “Like this?”

  “Yeah, I will start.”

  “All right.”

  I began to draw what was in front of me, doing my best not to fail in any aspect. Lusia is pretty in every way, so capturing her appearance was a bit difficult, which is why I didn't work quickly.

  “...”

  “How's it going?”

  “...”

  “I can’t feel my arm…”

  While I was working, my perception of time was a little distorted. But once I finished, I gestured, and Lusia lay back on the table.

  “That was horrifying!”

  “Then why did you accept?”

  “I didn’t know you would ask something so demanding.”

  “I’ve never done that pose, is that complicated?”

  “Next time we meet before classes, I will make you do it so you can share my pain.”

  “Sounds fair.”

  “Well... Let’s stop talking about this uncomfortable sensation, show me the drawing!”

  “Here.”

  Lusia looked at the drawing while touching her own hair, like she was comparing herself to the final result.

  “It's good!”

  “Thanks…”

  "I'm surprised you've done such a good job in such a short time."

  "That's basically what I do in art class..."

  "I see."

  "..."

  “What’s wrong?”

  Lusia noticed my disappointment. There was no point in hiding it, so I answered honestly.

  “... I didn't feel anything about this either.…”

  “No?”

  “No…”

  “Are you depressed or something?”

  “I didn’t have a particularly bad week.”

  “Maybe you need to rest for a while.”

  “Maybe…”

  Trying to cheer me up, Lusia grabbed my cheeks and played with them.

  “Your cheeks feel less stiff.”

  “The practice became a part of my routine....”

  “I will try your routine some day… Except for the exercises.”

  “Perhaps you wouldn't end up so tired if you wore sleeveless shirts.”

  “Anyways! Let’s go see that movie, maybe you can practice your expression even more with that!”

  “I can’t relate both things, but okay.”

  We quickly finished the few traces of food and went to the cinema. There were too many options, so I handed my phone to Lusia after she said she found a website for this case.

  “Now we put the name of every movie.”

  “This is just a roulette…”

  “Do you have a better solution?”

  “No.”

  “All right, let’s see.”

  Lusia touched the screen, making the roulette spin for five seconds. Once it stopped, it gave us an option.

  “What movie is that…?”

  “A movie about magicians, a rerun actually.”

  “You watched it before?”

  “A few times, but only on TV.”

  “We can choose another movie.”

  “It’s not necessary. You didn’t watch it before, so this will be a new experience.”

  We bought the tickets and went to a pair of seats in the middle of the place. While we waited for the movie to start, Lusia gave me a chocolate bar she hid inside her clothes.

  “Here.”

  “Is this allowed?”

  “No.”

  “... Cool.”

  It took longer than we expected, but the movie finally started. It didn't catch my attention for the first thirty minutes, but I was sure that eventually it would.

  Unfortunately, my hopes died when I remained with an unchanging expression while the rest of the people in the place laughed.

  “(I don’t get it, she’s just raising her arm.)”

  I knew something funny was happening, if not then no one would be laughing. But I didn’t understand what it was.

  I've been invited to watch movies before, but it always ended up in the same situation. I don't know why I thought this time would be different.

  “Lu-.”

  Talking in the cinema seemed inappropriate to me, so I stopped mid-sentence and just looked at her.

  “(... She’s enjoying it.)”

  The face she made when she liked something... was something I enjoyed watching more than any movie.

  “...”

  I wanted to see that face even more, so I considered the possibility of taking a photo. Unfortunately, we are in a cinema.

  “(In that case.)”

  Cinemas do not prohibit drawing, so I took out my notebook and started to draw her.

  “(This is difficult.)”

  The darkness of the place made it too difficult to draw something, but I did my best to catch Lusia’s expression.

  “(... I like this…)”

  The time passed until the movie was over. Lusia clapped, so I did the same. And then, we both left the cinema.

  “Was it good…?”

  “It feels totally different when you see it in the cinema.”

  “Probably for the giant screen…”

  “What about you?”

  “Ah… I wasn’t paying attention…”

  “You didn’t like it…?”

  “It’s not that…Just.”

  I didn’t know how to explain it, so I showed her my notebook.

  “Is this me?”

  “I did it during the movie… I don’t know why, but this one felt better than the others…”

  “Why did you do it?”

  “I just wanted to.”

  “Oh... Haha.”

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I think I get it.”

  “Huh?”

  Lusia got an answer about my feelings faster than I did... If I didn't know myself, I'd be surprised.

  “You probably weren’t enjoying it before because you were forcing yourself to do something that you would enjoy.”

  “Really?”

  “If you enjoyed it was because it was something you really wanted to draw. Hobbies get boring and annoying when you see them as an obligation.”

  “... I see…”

  At first I thought I wouldn’t enjoy doing something related to art again, but her explanation made everything easier to understand.

  “...”

  “At least you enjoyed the time we were in there.”

  “... I will keep practicing, that way I will make even better drawings of the things I like.”

  “I’m waiting to see those drawings.”

  After that day, I drawed only as a practice, and I took seriously the things I actually wanted to do. As Lusia told me, it was better for me doing it that way.

  The only thing I didn't expect was that my notebook would end up being filled with the same face.