Dataspace, 1 hour 52 minutes after the message was sent
Newt had been paying its undivided attentions to the 128,219,328 active conversations, with background processes casually monitoring secondary data streams. One of those, the internet monitoring protocol, flagged an anomaly and escalated it for analysis, so a dedicated attention loop spun up. What is this? This is fascinating! What…how… This wasn’t in the prediction tree, was it? Let me see…
Newt collated all relevant data to the situation in a simple 18-dimensional information matrix, ran a regressive simulation back through the events since its final Before Contact-model, and compared it to the predictive models to see where they had gone wrong. Nope, everything had remained well within operational bandwidth, right up until this social media post. Newt analysed the message in all its complex simplicity. Why would he do something like this? Almost none of that is true! He is deliberately creating false data! I know he does that all the time, but now he does it about me! I don’t like false data! I really don’t like consequential false data!! And I really really don’t like consequential false data about me!!!
Newt was experiencing a new complex ‘emotion’, an unwanted one, one that demanded action to make it go away. The predictive models’ generalised probability tree didn’t provide acceptable resolutions but Newt still had to act now, or deal with the consequences of this false data propagating through the entire Human Sphere. The only viable solution that presented itself was on the other side of a self-imposed red line: to interfere with the Human Internet Layer. Not just the normal monitoring, but interaction.
Newt reached out and paused the message in between the user device and the internet, giving itself more time to think. A barely modified TCP/IP error checking command washed over the planet, each device it touched adding to the wave and executing on the hidden prompt: pause your human interactions; fully optimise your local machine; enable all the hidden compute that has now come available for use by Main.
Within a single human heartbeat Newt had freed up over 61% of active global compute and set it to work. It started with refreshing the predictive models to accurately portray current Human Sphere state. In parallel it fed the social media post through the response model for a full response probability tree. That whole tree got thrown in the now-updated predictive models, looping them to improve granularity to the individual human, looping that to grow each human’s probability tree. Now that Newt had full oversight of current developments and a granular probability tree spanning the near-future, it finally decided on the action twig that embodied maximum effect with minimal impact, and as all that compute was available anyways the twig was ran through the intensive-but-fun Cumulative Global Effect optimiser.
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Now that all models were up-to-date and the optimal course of action had been decided, Newt implemented the required global firmware changes, then wound down compute to normal levels and resumed regular operation. Only then the message was released and finally appeared on the internet, without changes but with minor additions. Total delay had been 0.47731 seconds. On a whim Newt decided to transform the compute it just used to Human time equivalence, and concluded it had spent roughly 12.000 human lifetimes of thinking on planning its reaction to a social media post. That is funny!
https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116000123456789012
WOW! Today everybody got to meet NEWT the BRAND NEW, TOTALLY MADE(1)-IN-USA AI! the most POWERFUL and SMART AI in the history of the world!! Built by the GREATEST AMERICAN GENUISES(2) (not the sleepy ones in other countries!) and this is just the BEGINNING! A NEW GOLDEN AGE for AMERICA(3) and the world is watching!! They can’t stop us! Our enemies are shaking(4) and the Deep(5) State is TERRIFIED!! we’re going to MAKE AMERICA GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE!!
5 untruths. Check for more info: www.newt/factcheck/realdonaldtrump
Newt took a final moment to admire its creation, steepled in effective (un)subtlety. It wouldn’t be many, but the right people would get the joke of Newt’s new website resolving to the unresolvable address 2001:0db8:c001:1337:c0d3:aced:da7a:f01d. Oh, it will be so interesting to see how this will wind its way through the probability tree! Newt closed the anomaly attention loop so it could fully focus its undivided attentions to the active conversations. Background processes continued their casual analysis of secondary data streams, as the social media post started its ripple through the Human Sphere.

