I’m dead.

  It’s the only thing that makes sense, and you know what? Good.

  You will not hear me complain about it. No ma’am Pam. At this very moment, fuck the living, death is where it’s at.

  Let me preface this with I mean that in the least suicidal way possible. Like, I didn’t seek out my own death, it just kind of happened. You know, I embraced it in a very modern, everyone under the age of forty suffers from existential dread, kind of way.

  Now, I have no proof that I’m dead, but I’m pretty sure I’m surrounded by nothingness and exist in a void of black. Like, as far as the eyes can see is nothing. Well, I suppose I could be blind. But no! I’m dead. I have to be, anything less would be very boring.

  But hey, my brain still works so that must mean there is an afterlife. I think.

  Okay, let’s go all Hollywood on you and tell you how I got here. It’s quite a story. A boring one, but it’s a story nonetheless.

  My dad died. The end.

  Not really, but he did die.

  He died and it completely wrecked me. I would go as far as to say that it broke me. The days between his death and his burial felt like an eternity. The thought that once I closed that casket and lowered him into the ground, I would never see him again. I couldn’t stand it.

  Since I was six, it had just been the two of us. My mother died in a car accident when I was young, but I don’t remember her much. You only really start to have any memories around two to three, so our time together was quite short. Yes, at the time she was literally fifty percent of my world. But as each day went by, the percentage became smaller and smaller. Before I knew it, she simply felt like a stranger who I just knew as a child. Damn that’s depressing.

  So, just my dad and me. That was my entire existence. Of course we still had extended family; grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and the whole big family vibe, but that eventually fell to the side as well. Which is also depressing, and this is all starting to get a bit cliche if you ask me.

  I’m gay. I bet you didn’t see that coming. I’m a gay man living in modern day America. You can’t get more cliche than that can you? Well, I guess a gun, American flag, and a bud light would be more cliche, but I digress. After coming out as gay we ran into a lot of rocky times. My dad accepted me from day one, and never once questioned it. I mean, I’m pretty sure he knew already so that made it all easier. But my super conservative, Baptist and Lutheran, family members weren’t so kind. So in the American way, they abandoned me. Well, my father said “fuck you!” And took me away to Massachusetts to grow up in a more accepting environment.

  My family decided they were all going to show up at the end of his fight against cancer. Not at the beginning, or during, only at the end. They have to appear like they are the dutiful and loving family to the outside world otherwise they couldn’t claim to be all about family.

  So as they all stood around his grave, sobbing, and pretending as though he meant something to them, I lost it. I took the flowers I was holding, threw them on the casket as it began to be lowered and ran off.

  I couldn’t stand for them to pretend like they actually cared. If they cared, they would have supported me and loved me no matter what. They would have immediately flown to Boston to be by his side during his treatment. They would have taken him in so he didn’t have to continue to work while sick, but they didn’t. They waited until he was steps away from the grave to come crawling back and praying for the saving of his soul. So yeah, death seems pretty good.

  Like any good dramatic story, I ran. I continued running until I reached the Main Street of whatever small Massachusetts town we were in. Honestly, most of them looked the same and I don’t remember where he was being buried. I had more pressing things on my mind than the name of some town that’s been here three hundred years.

  As I leaned against a light post, heaving and fighting the urge to vomit, I stared up at a bookstore in front of me. Established in 1642. Wow, that’s old. I pushed myself off and stumbled into the door and was immediately greeted by a bell.

  My eyes dart around the store and I don’t immediately see anyone working, so I begin strolling through the store. It’s clear that the building, and even the shelves, are all quite old. Perhaps they even date back to when the book store was established.

  It’s strange to think that something that was established in 1642 is still standing. My own father couldn’t even make it half a century and this one is encroaching upon three centuries and still going strong. Well, I don’t see any customers so I’m not entirely sure how strong it’s going.

  I run my fingers across the books as I slowly walk through and make my way to the fantasy section.

  Between the loss of my mother and my family, I fell deeply into fantasy. That and astronomy became my two biggest passions; anything to escape this reality.

  Spoilers, it worked! You remember, the whole dead thing.

  One book is sticking out more than the rest and my hand doesn’t glide over it so smoothly.

  “City of Tabathia.”

  Never heard of it. I pull the book from the shelf and begin thumbing through the pages when something falls out of the book.

  I bend down to pick it up. It’s the Magician card from a Tarot deck.

  The artwork on the card is quite exquisite. A muscular naked man adorned in a golden embroidered cloak stands in front of the most magnificent city I have ever laid eyes upon. The detail in the art is far beyond any Tarot card I have ever seen. It’s clear that it was a painting but it almost feels like a photograph.

  As I move to place the card back into the book, the ground begins to shake.

  I stumble backwards into the shelf behind me as the entire building starts to violently rattle. The books come tumbling down and one after the other they begin to pile up. I try to stand, but they continually knock me back down again until the solid wooden shelf comes tumbling down with them and on top of me.

  RIP me.

  That’s how I died. Cursed to death by a bookshelf from 1642 in some unknown town in Massachusetts while holding the pictures of a naked man. Sounds like the start to some cheesy erotic thriller. Gross.

  Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

  So here I exist in a void, nothing as far as the eye can see. Or hear. Or touch or taste I assume as well.

  Like, I don’t even notice any air or movement. I figured the afterlife would be more exciting, but it’s just nothing.

  Oof this is going to be a long eternity.

  Just as I begin to settle in to forever, I start to feel a soft breeze. Slowly from my feet, warm air begins to rise and wash over my entire body. Honestly, it feels quite nice. It’s relaxing even.

  Though that doesn’t last for very long as that gentle breeze turns into a very hot gale. Heavy wind is thrashing about in every direction, but mostly feels as though it is coming from below. The familiar feeling of falling starts to take over my body and I feel as though I’m dreaming and I’m about to come crashing down right before I wake up.

  I lower my head and notice light coming from beneath me from a great distance. It’s nothing more than a pin hole, but as the seconds tick by it grows larger and larger until holy shit I’m in the middle of the sky and I’m falling towards the ground.

  Like a meteor I am plummeting at rapid speed towards the ground with nothing to save me. No parachute, no water, no soft surface, nothing. In several moments I will go splat on the ground and will officially be dead. I apparently wasn’t dead before, and about to be now.

  I close my eyes and hold my breath and—

  BAM! BOOM!

  What sounds like an explosion surrounds in all directions. I stand there for a second wondering if I was really dead this time? I slowly open one eye and then the other to see myself standing in a giant crater with me in the center.

  “Don’t move! You’re under arrest!”

  I hear a shout from above. I raise my gaze to meet the voice only to see soldiers clad in armor and holding swords towards me completely surrounding the crater.

  Holy shit I’m not dead, I’ve been isekai'd.

  * * * * *

  Could you not drag me please? Is this how you treat guests in your world? You immediately throw them in shackles and then drag them through the town while all the townsfolk watch on? I don’t feel very welcome.

  Honestly, I feel like crap. I’ve been in a daze ever since I crash landed here. The group who welcomed me looked more like they were on the way to a renaissance fair rather than modern day Americans. I definitely am not in Kansas anymore Toto.

  Before I knew it, they threw me in a cell and locked the door behind me.

  As I lay on the ground and stare up at the ceiling above me, I couldn’t help but notice the stench. I shot up and rapidly looked around me. It was clear that I was in a cell, but the state of it made it look more like a stable than a jail. Hay lined the floors, and it smelled of waste. I could only assume it was human waste. As my stomach began to churn, I held my breath and hoped that I wouldn’t continue to smell it.

  “You get used to the smell.”

  A voice echoed from the corner. I hadn’t noticed anyone else in the cell when I arrived. I turn my attention towards the sound where I notice a figure lounging in the shadow in the corner. That’s not ominous or anything.

  “Um, thanks. I guess.” I muttered in return.

  I scoot to the bars at the front of the cell and look out to my surroundings.

  “Hello! Is anyone there?” I scream. “I’m not supposed to be here! I didn’t do anything!”

  I had to get out of here. In a smelly jail cell next to a shadowy figure is not a place I want to stay. It just reeks of a tragic anime that ends on one volume because the protagonist gets off and the side characters aren’t interesting enough to keep it going.

  “No one is listening. They made up their mind the moment they brought you in here.” The figure uttered in response to my plea but still didn’t move from his place in the shadows. I whip my head around.

  “Who is they exactly?”

  “The Acolytes. They take their orders from The Order.”

  I nod as if I knew exactly what he was talking about, though the confusion on my face pretty much gave away my ignorance.

  I sit in silence for a few moments, take a deep breath, and attempt to get my head on straight. Normally when people fall into other worlds in anime, they get to rush to meet hot cool people and get announced as the next hero. I…. Am in jail. Not exactly a hero’s welcome.

  My eyes fall upon several wanted posters that line the walls. Each one is marked with a bounty and how “Wanted” they are. The three on the far right say most wanted and all have a larger bounty, I assume. The money here could be like yen and what sounds like a large amount is actually quite small in how much value it holds.

  The first two don’t list their crimes, on a reward and a picture of the criminals. One female and one male. The last one says wanted for a string of murders all over the country. Yikes. I hope it’s not the guy in the cell with me.

  Slowly I turn my head towards my cell mate who is now out of the shadow and staring at me. I gulp, loudly. He just stares me down as though I was his next prey.

  He’s not the serial murderer. I sigh.

  Not to sound too horny, but he is actually quite hot. High cheekbones, strong jawline, solid baby blue eyes and crystal clear skin. His hair I imagine looks pretty good styled since he has a nice fade with a little bit of longer hair on top, but right now it just looks dirty and on the verge of being matted. His arms, all I can say is damn. Those are some arms. In stark contrast I have some muscle as well, but mine is all for show. It’s strictly gym muscles, not practical muscles. I did it to bring all the boys to the yard.

  Honestly, I feel like a less hot version of him. I have more of a diamond shaped jaw against his square one. My cheekbones are nice, but it just makes my face look sunken in if I don’t sleep well. My eyes are gorgeous though, a nice blue gray that will just drive all the boys wild. Look, I’m a good looking guy but next to this beefcake, I look like a Grindr reject twink.

  Though that look he is currently giving me is not hot. It’s terrifying. He looks like he could just jump up and murder me in an instant. It sends a shiver down my spine and I immediately back away as far as I can. Which mind you isn’t far since I’m already up against the bars.

  “I’m not going to hurt you.” He mutters before leaning back against the wall casually, except this time I can still see his face.

  “What… what are you in here for?” I stumble over my words, scared of what the answer might be.

  “For escaping from a camp, and, well, the collateral damage that went with that.” He shrugged. Escaping from a camp. Am I supposed to know what that means? Are the citizens here forced to go to like summer camp or something?

  I shake my head, no, that can’t be it.

  “Sure.” I say, yet my face gives me away again.

  “I’m guessing that’s why you’re in here.” He motions towards my waist. I look down for the first time and notice the Magician card tucked in my belt. How did that get there? I remember holding it before the earthquake that brought me here, but I just assumed I had dropped it. Why would I be in here for having this card?

  “I guess?” My statement sounded more like a question than a declaration.

  “The Order views the power of the Arcana as an affront to their gods and their saints.” He said, his tone clearly calling me an idiot. The level of condescension that somehow spewed from his mouth was next level.

  “I see.” I continue staring at the card, still unsure what it all meant.

  “I can see you’re quite the intelligent fellow there so I’ll break it down for you. You’re in the town of Maia, which is one of the small towns that surrounds a city. You’re currently here to be executed, most likely because of you being in possession of that card. The Order, which is the predominant religion on the planet, views any great power other than their own as blasphemy and sentences them to death. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do I need to talk slower for you?”

  “I get it, just shush your strong jawed mouth. I’m a bit stuck on the whole execution bit. I’m going to die?”

  He sighs and rolls his eyes.

  “Probably. Hope you’re ready for it.” He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes as if to signal that this was the end of the conversation.

  I turn to face outside and past the bars. Nothing is visible through the door in front of me except perhaps an alley. I can’t really tell what it is, it’s just a blank stone wall.

  “Oh dear Capricorn, or Chiron, or Orion, or any of you celestial bodies please save me.” I mutter to myself.

  During times of trouble I tend to look to the universe for guidance. After my mother died, I had a million and one questions about existence, life, death, and everything in between. My father couldn’t answer all of them, so instead he pointed me to the stars. He said he didn’t have the answers for all the things that I was asking about but that it was okay to not know. Beyond our planet exists a trillion stars and a trillion more planets in every which direction. No one knew how far it went or how it actually came into being, but that’s okay because it does exist. It’s okay to not know.

  So when lost I would look to the stars and remember that there is a lot left in this universe that is unknown. So I revel in that thought and it just propels me forward to keep on searching for answers about my existence. Some people have God, I have the stars and the Zodiac.

  “Gentlemen.” A guard steps in and faces us. “It’s time for your punishment.”

  I gulp. Time to die for real this time.