With a sigh, Damian peered around the corner to take another look at the monstrosity he was about to face.

  A towering figure loomed in the center of a cave-like room. Dark skin rolled over bulging muscles that radiated wisps of dark mist. Large razor-sharp spikes ran down its back, creating a shell.

  Easy, it's going to be easy. No big deal, really. What big teeth you have, my dear, what monstrous claws you have.

  Sighing again, Damian turned to his five party members to give them a rundown.

  "Big bastard with big claws and even bigger spikes on its back. Watch out in case they can shoot off, or the big oaf simply jumps at you backwards."

  "Frey, prepare your biggest spell, but hold off on using it. Wait for Isaac, Alex, and me to reach about half the distance to it."

  "Donna, as soon as Frey's spell hits, I'm going to need you to restrict that thing's movements as much as you can."

  "Fergus, prep your buff and pop them on Alex right before we make contact."

  "Isaac, cover for Alex."

  "Alex... just raise hell. Do the usual."

  "I want us to take it down as quickly as possible. Sounds good?"

  Four serious faces nodded his way, and a fifth had a cheeky smile plastered on her face.

  Here we go again...

  "What are you worried about? That thing looks a wee bit bigger than my old ma." Alex needlessly commented.

  Sighing again, Damian gave the giant of a woman a once-over. Then slowly, his eyes lazed over to her lover, Fergus. About two heads shorter than the Amazonian, he gave a wry smile.

  I don't know how they ever got together...

  "I can cook us up a meal after, maybe we could get you to grow a bit more to catch up."

  Ah, yeah, that's right...

  "Psh! Hahaha." Frey collapsed, chuckling to herself. Her fiery red ponytail bounced as she laughed.

  Meanwhile, both Donna and Isaac were blushing. However, Donna kept looking over to Isaac the entire time.

  'sigh'

  Looking past them, Damian stared at the glowing runes on the ground. A teleport circle was faintly glowing.

  Yes, oh, how merciful the dungeon is. Before every 10th room, you too can get teleported back to the safety of the outside world!

  A big, scary monster is just around the corner? Fear not! Just back up slowly onto these convenient runes, channel some mana, and be gone!

  But if you take this coward's way out, you'll have to start over from the last 10th floor you've cleared! What a setback!

  'sigh'

  Giving them a moment to recollect themselves, Damian kept peeking around the corner to see if the monstrosity had changed its action.

  The hulking beast just kept clawing at the ground. Swipe, swipe, swipe. It kept at it as if the most interesting thing in the world was buried beneath.

  Not that its claws could put a scratch on the dungeon floor. For all that Damian knew, nothing known to man could put a scratch on it.

  Looking back to see that his party had recollected themselves, Damian gave a swift hand motion to begin the operation.

  The figure of the giant monstrosity was rapidly growing larger in Damian's eyes. Step by step, moving closer and closer to certain death if he took a bad hit.

  The giant oaf was still trying to dig into the indestructible ground, but then suddenly, its head snapped to meet Damian's eyes.

  Ugh, why me...

  Just a heartbeat later, Damian could feel heat radiating from a giant fireball overhead. It met the inquisitive gaze of the monstrosity.

  The dimly lit room exploded with light and fire, engulfing the immediate area around the monster.

  Staring into the inferno, Damian watched carefully, ready for the beast's first move.

  A giant clawed hand reached out of the inferno, grasping for Damian.

  Moving as the wind, he swiftly dodged under the claws, dragging his sword along the creature's outstretched arm.

  Little moats of mist spilt out of the shallow cuts he delivered, and from those shallow cuts, smaller wisps of wind danced on the surface of the skin. They made a scattering of even more minor cuts.

  Not getting greedy, Damian positioned himself to the beast's side, doing his best to draw its attention away from the rest of the party. "Hiyah! Hiyah! Over Here!" he beat his sword against the rim of his shield, creating a racket.

  In the corner of his eye, Damian saw a torrent of water hurdle toward the beast. Slamming into its chest, it knocked the creature back a single step.

  Fire and water started to mix and sizzle, creating a thick white steam that obscured everyone's vision. The steam started to condense, tighter and tighter, then swirled into thick ropes that wrapped around the beast.

  "Heeyaah!" A battle cry came from Damian's left.

  Alex was wielding a sword that was as tall as her lover.

  Maybe she got the two mixed up at times. Damian thought cheekily.

  A flash of light burst from the giant woman, and her figure blurred forward toward her enemy.

  Restricted for a brief moment, the monstrosity was cleaved in two, from arm to leg. It's form staggered to the side, and it started to spin as it fell.

  "Careful!!!"

  Crashing into the ground, the monster faced its back to the rest of the party. Countless spikes shot out toward Alex, whose posture was at the tail end of her downward swing.

  In a blurred movement, Isaac jumped in front of the hulking lady. His massive tower shield, raised toward the oncoming spikes, began to radiate a transparent energy, covering a wide area.

  Tack Tack Tack

  The spikes pelted the ethereal shield, but only pierced a couple of finger widths deep.

  Before any more spikes could fire off, Damian swiftly moved above the fallen monster and stabbed his sword through its neck.

  The beast jerked. He stabbed it again. Its movements stilled. Then he stabbed one last time for good measure through one of the eyes.

  "Everyone alright?"

  "Just peachy", "No injuries", "I'm good", "Fine", "No problems"

  Damian sighed in relief.

  "Ok, everyone to this side, we don't know if any more of those spikes will pop out while harvesting."

  They, in fact, shot out after a slight tug.

  If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

  It pays off to be cautious.

  ***

  Butchering a dungeon monster is so much more pleasant than taking apart their equal out in the wild.

  First of all, they don't smell, and I mean at all. They don't have any scent!

  That might be a problem if you were a ranger type that relied on smell, but that would also require you to face off against one of these monsters outside of a dungeon. And that is uncommon in the Union, to say the least.

  If that were to happen, someone, somewhere, messed up badly.

  Second of all, they clean up after themselves. What I mean is that a dungeon monster will disintegrate into nothingness if given enough time.

  But wait, you might think, how could you harvest a dungeon monster if it disintegrates? Good question.

  There is a fantastic solution for this. All you have to do is channel some mana into the parts you want to keep, and voila, they don't disappear!

  Last, but not least, the meat of dungeon beasts tastes divine! Yes, the monstrous figure that leaks particles of darkness for blood simple tastes better than anything else!

  Excellent for any meal of the day. Ten out of ten people say that dungeon meat can't be beat!

  'sigh'

  "What's that stupid look on your face?" Frey asked while elbowing Damian in the side.

  They were sitting in one of the safe rooms located midway down every hallway in the dungeon. Monsters didn't spawn in them, but nothing stopped one from entering.

  "Just thinking about breakfast is all."

  "Don't be impatient, Fergus is finishing up the first round now."

  "I don't know how he does it, but he somehow makes dungeon meat taste even better. Are we sure he doesn't have a skill that enhances flavor?"

  "Psh! Hahaha." Frey cackled by Damian's side.

  "Um, we already know all of his skills. I'm pretty sure none of them can double as a flavor enhancer." Isaac plainly offered while brushing some dark hair away from his eyes.

  He should really get a better haircut. The bowl-shaped style didn't look good on him. Honestly, Damian didn't think that it looked good on anyone.

  "Maybe he's been lying to us about his level all this time and snuck a food-enhancing skill."

  "I assure you, I didn't go and become a 4th-tier behind your backs,"

  Fergus said while swiping a plate beyond Damian's grasp and into Frey's hands. The petty man was, in fact, not short. It's just that when compared to Alex, he was.

  His platinum blonde hair was tied back in a man bun as he went back to cooking—the perfect house husband for that brute of a woman.

  gurgle

  "Don't be mean, Fergus, it was only an indirect compliment," Frey said while dangling a piece of meat in front of Damian's face.

  "Ahh."

  With a flick, Frey tossed the piece of meat into his mouth.

  Ah, yes... this is a little slice of heaven on a plate. The four goddesses themselves surely passed down this ultimate food.

  Truly, nothing can beat this taste that jolts throughout the body—energizing and caressing every nerve. Heavenly~.

  poke

  Jolting upright, Damian looked down to his side to see that Frey had poked his side aggressively.

  "Ahh." She opened her mouth for him to return the favor.

  Slipping the piece of meat into her evil mouth. An evil mouth that took away this heavenly delight. Her face immediately went to bliss.

  A happy smile wormed its way onto her face. Chewing slowly and tilting her head with eyes that formed small crescents, she looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

  'sigh'

  "You should really stop that habit," Donna commented from the side while combing her long, golden hair. With each flick of the brush, bits of hair brushed up against the demure Isaac.

  Why is she trying to fix her hair in the dungeon of all places?

  "Too late, it's already ingrained in his bones. He'll probably still be sighing even when he's dead and buried. In fact, it'll probably be passed down to his descendants!" Alex commented unnecessarily.

  'sigh'

  "Don't joke about that, Alex. When you joke about something like that, you're just asking fate to make it come true!"

  "So my 'sighs' have become a problem for you now, Frey?"

  "No, no. Your sighs are... sweet. The face you make when thinking deeply about something nonsensical and then sighing right after is one of the things I find endearing about you!"

  "?! Nonsensical? What do you mean? How would you know what I'm thinking?"

  "Bahahaha" Smack Smack Smack

  Alex was on her back, smacking the ground and kicking her feet up into the air. Her messy brown hair was bobbing with each chuckle.

  "It's simply written all over your face. Even now, you're blushing knowing that it's true."

  Snatch

  Grabbing Frey's plate, Damian furiously downed the strips of meat.

  "Hey!"

  ***

  The big adventure, scaling the Earthen Spire, one of the world's largest dungeons. It's the main reason why the country of Duco is the most powerful within the Earthen Union.

  They say that you're not a real adventurer party unless you've attempted to scale one of the legendary dungeons.

  That is precisely why I find myself in this deathtrap. Well, deathtrap is a bit of an overexaggeration.

  We could have paid for a guidebook for all of the known monsters in the dungeon. But that'd be expensive, and money doesn't grow on trees.

  Ah, where was I, yes. The reason we're here is for reputation.

  The higher a party manages to climb, the more renown they gain. Thus leading to the possibility of recruiting promising people into your party, or being recruited into one of the larger sub-guilds.

  Even the Adventurers Guild will start giving you preferential treatment with more rewarding missions.

  How tall is this Earthen Spire? Well, no one really knows.

  The monstrosity of a tower rises high into the clouds, but that doesn't account for its internal size.

  Rumor is that a bunch of spatial magic is going on.

  One spatial mage deduced that as soon as you enter the first floor of the tower, you'd technically be deep below ground. No teleporting, no portals, the space itself is just so warped that you'd just be somewhere else.

  It'd be like sticking food in your face, and it ended up in your asscheek instead.

  To date, the highest floor reached is floor 165.

  The party that reached that floor had several of its main fighters reach their level caps. They couldn't continue without fear of bringing down the whole party.

  What is a level cap, and why does it exist?

  Well, you've maxed out your potential and can't level any further.

  At every 10th level set, a person reaches a crossroads. Can they break into the next level, gaining wondrous powers?

  Or will they be stuck at level 30, forever condemned to clearing one of the lower-level dungeons scattered across the world of Tania?

  Our party is quite close to that crossroad. Hopefully, everyone can tier up and continue on our journey together.

  "Hey, Damian! Are you paying attention or not?" Frey accosted him.

  'sigh'

  "Ok, not paying attention then."

  "What was everyone talking about?"

  "We were discussing the noble adventurer Hans."

  "???, Why would you be talking about that pompous asshat?"

  Hans Ferdinand was the poster child for the next generation of noble adventurers.

  In all the Adventurers Guild Halls in the country of Duco, you could find posters of his face proclaiming how honorable and great he is.

  He chose the path of an adventurer instead of joining the military, as many noble children do.

  "Damian! Don't insult a noble so openly!" Frey warned.

  "We're in a dungeon safe zone. Who's going to overhear us?"

  "If you speak so freely, you'll make a habit out of it and say something in the wrong place, at the wrong time!"

  'sigh'

  "Dammit, now I'm catching your sighs!"

  "So why were you all talking about the oh so very noble adventurer Hans~?"

  Frey continued while giving Damian a dirty look. "We're going to have to stop at floor 40. There was a notice at the guild hall the day we left for the Spire.

  All adventurers who haven't been certified through the local guild are not to go any higher for the rest of the week."

  "What?! They're making a special playground for some nobles?"

  "Ahem", Isaac coughed. "He is the son of a Duke, so there's not much the local guild can do about it."

  Falling onto his back, Damian sighed, "So what does everyone want to do? We've only got nine more rooms."

  "Do we want to take a longer break now? Or finish things up quickly and head back to the city?"

  With a big grin, Alex leaned forward.

  Here we go again...

  "How about we join the 'Dungeon High Club'?"

  "The what now?"

  Looking around, Damian noticed that Frey and Donna were blushing.

  Oh, for the love of...

  Before Damian could stop this line of discussion, Alex offered, "I think that it'd be a good idea. It'd help some of our members bond more. There are some perfect rooms right over there."

  Donna was now beet-red, steam practically rising from her head.

  Looking over at Isaac, he was smiling cluelessly.

  'sigh'

  Maybe that would do the two of them some good, goddess knows when they'd get together otherwise.

  "Ok, I'm off to rest with Frey. Donna, could you and Isaac set the alarm device near the doorway?"

  Smiling widely, Alex picked up Fergus and quickly headed off to another room.

  What the hell...

  ***

  Joining the Dungeon High Club... Is that really an achievement? How often do people join the club? Probably more often than Damian was comfortable with.

  Fortunately, the dungeon rooms have the best soundproofing known to man. And they are even considerate enough to let alarm magic pass through, alerting everyone.

  Looking back, he watched as Frey barbequed the stone slab they were just on.

  Thank the goddesses she has the courtesy for whoever might use this room next. We should barbecue the beds before and after from now on...

  "Do you think that they finally hooked up?" Damian commented.

  With a smile, Frey declared, "Alex and I have been coaching Donna all of last week. We told her that she'd have to give us her cut of the profits if she didn't do it~."

  "What are you going to buy with the extra money?"

  Smack

  "Have some faith. She's been working up to this for a long time. Isaac clearly likes her, too. He's either just too clueless to notice that she feels the same or too much of a coward to push things himself. Probably a bit of both."

  "Maybe he's just thinking about the party? Imagine if he got turned down? What would happen to us then?"

  "Did you think about our party when you finally broached the question?"

  I suppose not. Damian thought with a wry smile.

  "Ok, ready to see if Donna pulled off the impossible?"

  SMACK

  Poking their heads out the door, Damian and Frey looked toward the campfire.

  Donna was lying her head on Isaac's shoulder, a smile radiating pure bliss. Meanwhile, Isaac was sitting still as a board, his face bright red.

  "Guess I owe you my cut for the adventure. I'll treat you to a nice dinner."

  Walking out, they greeted the two new lovebirds.

  Jolting upright, Isaac waved over. Donna could clearly care less, fulfilling her most cherished life's wish.

  A bit later, Alex and Fergus emerged from their room. A wide smile plastered over the Amazonian woman's face.

  Here we go again...

  "Welcome to the Dungeon High Club, everyone!"

  Donna was numb to the rest of the world, just happily holding on to her newly acquired lover. She could die happy.

  Meanwhile, Isaac's face reddened at once, smoke rising from his ears.

  I see that he finally made the connection. Damian smiled wryly.