“It’s the end of the world. Of course there’ll be dancing.” -Jackie, Night In The Woods-

  _____

  There was no defining moment when James went from feeling like he was relaxing at home, to feeling like there were guests over.

  For most people, it would be when guests showed up. But he’d already kind of been making the place look nice by cleaning up since the first Anesh had gotten back, and Auberdeen was there the whole time, and once James was in the kitchen preparing food for later he was basically in full on ‘host mode’.

  Also the first outside people to show up were Arrush and Keeka. And both of them had been over more often, going through the very human - or maybe just very normal for any species - process of slowly fading into being acclimatized to actually making themselves at home in a space.

  There would be no more scars on the couch from their saliva, but in a much more emotionally real way, each of them had left a mark on this place in the form of just being comfortable enough storing a change of clothes here.

  Alanna and Sarah got home just in time to see James finish giving Arrush a light kiss, and turn to plant a similar mote of affection on Keeka, who turned bright green in all the parts of him that were exposed hide, fleeing to behind the couch with a chitter. James, honestly, wasn’t actually sure what he was doing or what he felt about Keeka entirely, he was mostly just projecting confidence and seeing how things went, but all that constructed bravado fell apart as Sarah and Alanna made dramatic noises of interest in his personal life and stared at him until he, too, felt like his face had turned radioactive.

  ”This is fun.” Arrush commented with a glowing smile as he tried to figure out where to stand to not block the narrow gap that led into James’ kitchen. “Especially because it isn’t happening to me.” He added with playful defensiveness as Sarah turned her own grin on him.

  ”It’s pretty fun for me, too!” Alanna stated as she loomed over James, leering down at him as he wondered if he could cower potently enough to fit in one of their kitchen cabinets. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop. But that was fucking cute.” She gave James a hand up, sharing a quick hug with him. “My kid sisters are doing a thing tonight, so you don’t get to be anyone’s uncle today. I’m gonna go shower, don’t blow anything up until I get back.”

  ”No promises!” James called after her with a grin as she kicked her shoes off and walked down their apartment’s hall, seeming to relax a bit more with every step as she surrounded herself with their home. “Soooo, how’s the dungeon going?” He asked Sarah as soon as she stopped trying to make him blush further.

  Sarah’s smile shifted, the light and warmth that she brought to the whole apartment becoming electric. “We’re making progress! Kiki still worries that Clutter is going to eat her, so your entire thing about pillars being scared of dungeons makes more and more sense by the day. But they’re both getting better at talking, and we’re actually getting Clutter’s thoughts now and not just frantic greetings!”

  ”So fucking cool.” James murmured as he slid Arrush aside with one hand before sliding a prep tray into their fridge and then placing his hand on Arrush’s hip to slide him back into place. “Any massive revelations today?”

  Pressing her hands together in front of her mouth, Sarah took a deep breath before speaking. “Clutter just learned there are different genres of books.”

  That took a second for James’ brain to work through. ”…Oh.” He said, with the sort of curious tone he felt like he usually reserved for hearing that Momo ‘had a plan’. “Uh… so that’s… hm. Wait, does that sort of mean that she thought the starbook she made was a final product kind of thing?”

  ”Possibly!” Sarah nodded. “I’m starting to think dungeons are created very intelligent, as far as pattern recognition goes, but they don’t have any context. Which would explain why they’re all super literal places, that coincidentally end up being great metaphors for something.”

  ”I refuse to believe the Sewer is a metaphor by coincidence.”

  ”I-it could look that way because it’s evil.” Arrush added from where he was standing, the taller ratroach nervously slouched as they discussed the Sewer, leaning his upper arms on the counter. “N-not because the dungeon tries, but because being evil is… small? Limited?”

  James hummed as he washed his hands in the sink. “So, the classic ‘evil is boring’ thing, but applied to dungeon design? Okay, I can kinda see it. If the Sewer wanted to be hostile and gross, then it’s automatically limited away from a bunch of options, unless it’s really creative.”

  ”It’s not. Creative.” Arrush made an organic clicking in his chest that might have been amusement or may have been him trying not to scream. “Look at what it makes. Two animals torn up and put together. Rats but worse. Rats but mutilated and bigger. Even the infomorphs are just… bugs.” He took a shaking breath as Sarah quickly slipped in under his shoulder to warp the big ratroach in a sideways hug. “Sorry. I had a… a point.”

  ”I feel that way every time I go on a tangent.” James said reassuringly. “Backtrack. So it’s evil and boring?”

  ”Ah. And… what if it were under a police station?” Arrush asked.

  James paused, the pan he was washing tipping forward into the sink as he looked upward and only loosely kept his grip. “I mean… if it were exactly the same? Oh, I get it. The metaphor. Okay! So, we’d read into it as… as being about corruption, maybe? The kinds of life being commonly thought of as ‘pests’ could be a mirror to how the police see criminals. Hell, there’s a whole cultural meaning to ‘rat’ in terms of someone who betrays, often to the cops. The books are a little more nebulous, but… maybe a nod to reeducation in prison? Or a literal ‘learn your lesson’ kind of thing?” He nodded up at their ceiling, abruptly noticing Ganesh and Rufus hanging out on the ceiling fan and trying to not worry about that, as it all came together in his head. “Okay, I see what you mean.”

  ”Well that’s just depressing!” Sarah declared. “Evil is so boring that it works as a metaphor anywhere? That’s stupid! If it was under a grocery store then… oh wait no that’s a bad example. Okay, city hall! That would… that…” she turned away, lips pursed, thumping an arm with a loosely closed fist on the counter. “Arrush this makes too much sense!”

  ”Also I hate the Sewer but I do wanna be fair, the Attic makes stuff animals too.”

  ”I forgive her.” Arrush said with a stoic straightening of his back. “Also she makes slimes, and everyone likes slimes.”

  Before either James or Sarah could dispute that - not that James actually expected his best friend to do so - the door swung open with the kind of expressive force of someone who had seen way too many episodes of Sinfeld and not enough instances of people being on the receiving end of the door. “Don’t worry! We’re here!” JP announced, a couple nights of actual sleep having done far too much good for him.

  Dave entered past him, ignoring the way JP had leaned himself into the apartment and out of the rainy night. TQ just slithered under JP’s own outstretched arm, the camraconda giving a bobbing nod to Arrush as he passed by. “Hello. Do not worry, JP is not invading.” He told the larger dungeon life who was, to his lens at least, clearly suppressing the surge of violent impulse that he’d been struck with at the surprise. “Yet. I understand it is his culture?”

  ”Hey!” JP’s yell fortunately took attention away from where James was desperately hoping no one would ask him about a culture of invasions tonight. “Oh, my apologies.” He said abruptly, demeanor suddenly shifting as he stood and held the door open with a little half bow for the ratroach standing behind him. “After you my good lady.” The words were perfectly JP; corny and stupid, but with such an obfuscated earnestness that it was hard to tell if he was fucking with anyone, everyone, or even just himself.

  Cheha moved into the apartment like someone who was trying to maximize distance from everyone, skirting the edge of the doorframe and looking around like she was scanning for hiding spots, even though she’d been here enough to know them all. “H-hello.” She said absently.

  ”Hey there!” Sarah greeted her softly. “If you need a break tonight, you can hide in my room, okay?”

  ”Thanks.” Cheha meekly agreed, pausing her scan of the apartment and the people in it only to smile at Sarah. She did appreciate it, she just… didn’t feel like everyone else. Even though she’d met them and talked to them and even spent time with Alanna and Anesh, she was an outsider of sorts. But also she did know she could hide in Sarah’s room, and the top bunk of Sarah’s bed was exceptionally good for forming a fortified nest in. “S-smells good in here.” She added, trying to say something nice while staring at the floor.

  ”Ooh, it does! Is James cooking?” JP asked as he closed the door and walked deeper into his friend’s living room like he owned the place. “You know, I remember a distant lifetime where James cooking was accompanied by warning sirens.”

  ”Did he not have friends to share with?” TQ’s question came as the camraconda levered himself up onto the plush armchair that Anesh usually ran D&D from and often went unused otherwise.

  James gave a surprised half-laugh. “No, I… well kinda. I used to be awful at cooking. I only really started to get into it thanks to some skill ranks, actually. But then once I did, it was one of those situations where I knew how to learn more on my own.”

  ”James once nearly burned our apartment down trying to make rice.” Sarah added happily, adding clarity to James’ otherwise philosophical and abstract reply. “It was harrowing!”

  “Everyone get out of my kitchen or rice is the last thing you’ll need to worry about me setting on fire.” James grumbled.

  Sarah swooned dramatically as she rolled herself around Arrush, who regarded her curiously as she stepped over his tails. “Fiiiiine! I’ll exile myself upstairs! Everyone’s free to come hang out there too, by the way! I’ve got board games!” She offered as she made her way to the ladder in the corner of the living room that went up to their attic.

  That was something James was still getting used to, even though he loved it. Between that and their cellar, the apartment was twice the size it was when he started renting it, and so far, no one had questioned why their monthly rent was lower. Not that the cost mattered to him; and the simple freedom of not worrying about that was responsible for about half his current life satisfaction. But he did still wonder if the money still showed up in the rental company’s account, or if this was some kind of bureaucratic mind control.

  James had a lot of thoughts on some kind of magical fiat currency, that he sort of rolled around in his head as everyone else, Arrush included, mostly migrated to the living room and talked amongst themselves. A feeling of warmth took hold in his chest at the simple sensation. He got to pad around his kitchen, working on a few things, while friends new and old were capable of just existing. Enjoying life in a small way, the ultimate reward for all the struggle, all the fights, all the pain. Except it wasn’t even a reward really, and he didn’t want it to be. He wanted this to be normal for everyone. This was what all living people deserved as a sacred right. If he had to fight, if he had to hurt, to make that happen, then that was a price he was okay with. Especially because right now he got to bask in it himself.

  His thoughts were startled as someone teleported into the small nook off to the side of his kitchen, the orange and red camraconda appearing with a light pop of air as Smoke-And-Ember materialized. “Hello.” He said smoothly, ignoring James’ perfectly reasonable scream of alarm. “I have arrived, do not panic.”

  ”JP said the same thing!” James gasped out as he tried to force down the adrenaline surging through his heart. Smoke-And-Ember hissed out curiosity as he moved over to the living room to ask JP about dramatic entrances. “At this point I expect the next person to arrive by diving like Batman through my skylight.” The apartment didn’t have a skylight, but James didn’t think that would stop a determined Order knight. So he was a little surprised when, thirty seconds later, someone knocked on his door like they lived in a polite society or something. “Hey!” James said as he pivoted to open the door, revealing Cam, and someone who looked identical to Cam minus the wings. Also a Siberian husky. “…How many of you are here for food, because I might have underestimated.” James said.

  “We can go for several days without food.” The new Camille said as she answered on reflex.

  The look on Cam’s face, of quiet and far away sadness, told James everything he needed to know. “I’m gonna go send one of my myriad boyfriends to the store for more chicken.” He decided. “What about you?” James asked the husky. The dog, possibly smart enough to understand him, or maybe just happy to hear a friendly voice, got off its haunches instantly and trotted into the apartment. “Great. Come on in.” James said, shaking his head and laughing. “Uh… new Camille, what do I call you?”

  ”Camille is sufficient.” She said. “I am…” she trailed off. “Camille is sufficient.” The girl reiterated as she hung back two steps behind Cam. They entered with a kind of mutual precision that James had gotten used to seeing from Cam, but felt weird on her sister.

  One quick conversation with an iteration of Anesh later, James had dispatched a couple people to the closest grocery store for his meal plans, and shortly after, welcomed Momo and Reed into his apartment. And it was at that point that he could no longer deny that he had guests in his home.

  Normally he’d be excited, if a little smothered, by the presence of so many friend-shaped people. But James was focused on food, and so, after he set out a couple boards with snacks on them on the tall counter between his kitchen and the growing mob, he sort of focused on his own little world. The conversation and sometimes laughter from the others making for a social background radiation as he just enjoyed everyone being around.

  ”Hey, do you need me to grab anything?” Zhu asked him as the navigator ruffled his feathers into being. “Or is this a ‘James is enjoying secret alone time’ thing?”

  ”Go have fun you goober.” James stole the last thing Sarah had called him with a smile, sending Zhu zipping away to land on someone else. “I’ll go hang out later.” He promised himself. But for now, he just kind of let everything he’d been holding onto go for a night.

  The worries about the Order’s relationship with new groups or parties. The concern about the looming future end times. The ever-present fear that the Underburbs was going to swallow him up. The pain and doubt of being put in a position where he’d chosen to kill people. The… everything. James had almost died so many times he’d lost count in the fog of the traumatic memories.

  But just for tonight, he let go of all of it, and let himself just be here.

  Meanwhile, in the far corner of the apartment, Camille the Ochre watched… everything. She never stopped watching. Normally it was the Azure’s job to monitor the field, when they were deployed together. But her sister - it was still the right word, no matter what was said - was talking to another woman half again their size about her aberrant wings. So she was… watching. Under the guise of examining a sign on the wall.

  “Hey.” An unusually calm voice addressed her from the smallest of the rat creatures in the room. “You mind if I lurk over here in the corner? I promise not to make awkward conversation.”

  Camille almost said no. But, there was a social contract in play, wasn’t there? “I believe you are allowed.” She told the ratroach, who relaxed visibly and gently slumped against the wall by the glass door to the small outdoor patio.

  ”Thanks. Everyone’s nice and everything, but they’re talking about football, and I’m real bad at sports.”

  She nodded, before glancing at the new person near her more directly. They weren’t armed, weren’t a threat at all, and yet, they were a monster. But not. Actually, the ‘not’ was a critical part of the oddity to Camille. She decided to test something. “Are you familiar with this?” She asked, pointing a gloved finger at the poster she was observing.

  The ratroach opened all its eyes at once, muzzle tilting up to look at the wall. “Oh man! It’s the thing!” Their gaze took on a gleaming quality. “Yeah, I’ve heard about it. A few years back, when these guys first found our best dungeon, someone… I think Alanna?… took this out of there because it’s funny.” Reed smiled, capping his grin only because of the pain of smiling too wide. “Work hard, and also, importantly, work hard. It’s kind of an unofficial motto for Research. We have a fake version, but this is the original.”

  ”I see.” Camille said, looking back at the brutally efficient bold lines of the workplace motivational poster. “You speak oddly for one of your kind.” She decided to approach the point bluntly, because that was what she was good for.

  ”What, a Researcher?” The ratroach’s smile faded quickly as Camille didn’t react. “Sorry. Uh. Yeah, I’m not a ratroach, exactly. I’m… not sure what I count as, but I started as a human, and swapped bodies.” They paused. “Hi. I’m Reed.”

  ”Oh. My condolences.”

  ”No no! This was consensual!”

  ”Oh.” Camille kept saying that, and didn’t know why. “Why?” She asked.

  Reed’s bifurcated tail twitched on the floor through the leg of his refitted pants that he’d shoved it down. “Well. I mean, at first, testing dungeontech. But then… I kinda like it? And I know the original owner of this one likes my body better than I ever did. So we both win.”

  ”But you…” Camille stopped herself from saying anything else, painfully aware that she was not talking to her sister, and that the mistakes she made every time she opened her mouth might be less welcome here.

  Reed caught some of that anyway, and looked away, awkwardly wondering if he should say something himself. “I’m different?” He asked, and didn’t wait for her to clarify. “I guess. It’s kinda cool though. And it’s not like I go outside a lot anyway.”

  ”You are a… strange human.” She settled on.

  ”Thanks I guess. You’re a strange… uh… Camille? Sorry, I don’t know what your species is called.” Reed felt the words more than thought them as they spilled out of his mouth.

  The person standing next to him, close to a perfect mirror of her winged sister on the other side of the room, turned to regard him with something between confusion and irritation. “Human.” She said flatly. “You can tell.”

  ”I…!” Reed sucked in a sharp breath as he realized that maybe, possibly, not every Camille was going to be comfortable with or aware of their nonhuman status. “Right! Sure! Sorry!”

  ”I am going to be uncomfortable outside.” Camille declared, moving past Reed, who she desperately tried to not notice the flinch from. Was it the body, with an ingrained response to a threat? Or was it her, because she was… “You may have the corner.” She said as she did her best to open the sliding glass door without shattering it, and stepped out into the cold night air.

  Upstairs, in the apartment’s arcanely added attic, Sarah was having exactly none of the problems with awkwardness that Camille was. Instead, she was having a radically different awkward situation, as Alanna climbed up the ladder with a camraconda slung over her shoulders like a boa, carefully trying to navigate the gap without hitting either head she was in charge of at the moment on the edge of the attic’s floor.

  ”Hello!” TQ said as he was carried upward, bobbing into view with each step. “I wish to begin complaining!”

  Alanna set him gently on the floor, Sarah’s girlfriend keeping her shoulders hunched despite the reasonable ceiling clearance here as she gave Sarah thumbs up. “I’m a taxi tonight.” She announced. “Which is cool, it’s good for my calves. But hey, this is not ADA approved. Anyway, have fun!” She descended the ladder leaving Sarah and TQ in the purple glow of the rope lights up here.

  The attic had been, originally, a sort of anchor point for an idea. James and Sarah wanted to see if they could get Clutter Ascent to expand, and to do that, it felt like they needed an attic to do so. Their apartment wasn’t the only place that they could willingly volunteer, but it was close to home, so to speak. With Kiki in the picture, and communication slowly unfolding with the young dungeon, there was less pressure. But Sarah was still trying to make their attic into somewhere that Clutter might find comfortable to move into, if it came to that.

  So the upstairs space - high angled walls made from roofs that didn’t exist, an unvarnished wooden floor, a little window overlooking their parking lot - had been transformed into something Sarah-coded. Inviting and cozy. Rope lights, a soft rug over most of the splinters in the wood, sanding treatment to manage those splinters as best she could, one beanbag and one assembled futon because getting a couch up here sounded like actual hell. Shelves along the walls with all their collective group’s board games and half of James’ personal library of late 1900’s fantasy paperbacks to free up more space downstairs, which also had the bonus effect of covering up the unfinished nature of the walls. Sarah had gone for secondhand furniture mostly, unintentionally acquiring the stories of other people etched into the surface of a table that had changed hands five times. So overall, it was very much like half secret clubhouse, half college student trying to decorate on a budget.

  ”I like this space.” TQ declared as he claimed the beanbag. “It feels like a better version of my old home.”

  ”Thanks!” Sarah’s smile slipped a little. “I mean, thanks, but also, I hope it’s not something that brings up bad memories. I know you didn’t have a good childhood.”

  TQ flattened himself down into the beanbag, a spiral of camraconda nestling into the plush surface. “Childhood is odd to me.” He replied. “Not because I didn’t have one, though I didn’t really, but because humans view it as needed.”

  ”You don’t think it’s important?” Sarah asked. Her question wasn’t judgmental, she just really wanted to get a look inside TQ’s head.

  He raised that head slightly to look at her, the edges of the boxy camera frame leaving an indent in the beanbag, blue and grey cables shifting so his tongue could flick out as he hissed lightly. “Sideways question. Why is it important to humans?”

  Sarah put real thought into it, but she started answering almost instantly, letting each word she spoke trigger more thoughts and ideas. “Well! Learning’s a big part! Humans don’t really get to start knowing anything practical, or anything at all. So… actually I guess what we call ‘childhood’ is actually just a definition for the whole time when we get to exist without responsibilities, where we can learn language and problem solving and social skills like friendship.” She tapped her chin as she leaned an elbow on the worn and foreign table. “But also… I think it is nice to have a time to be free. Really free. Taken care of. I’m really really lucky, I got a good childhood, but when I say it, that’s what I’m thinking of. Having a part of your life where you can take time to learn and grow and everyone takes care of you.”

  ”I see.” TQ nodded, and then lowered his head back to the soft beanbag. “Then I am doing childhood.” He declared.

  ”Oh ho?” Sarah slid out of her chair, landing under the table and rolling over to impact the side of his new throne. “How do you mean?”

  The camraconda hissed in amusement at her. “I am not required for anything. I spend my days learning things and making friends and doing whatever this is. I am allowed to be soft and silly.” He paused, breath picking up as his body shivered without his input. “If childhood is not about age, then I can have one whenever I like.”

  ”I guess so!” Sarah admitted. “The annoying part of my brain is telling me there’s some kind of requirement of innocence in there, but… well maybe that’s just propaganda.”

  ”Humans seem to have quite a lot of thoughts added by propaganda.” TQ commented. “Should that worry me?”

  Sarah raised a hand up over the edge of the beanbag to tap him on the top of his camera head. ”No worrying! You’re having a childhood!”

  “That sounds like something someone would tell me if I should consider cutting my childhood off early to begin worrying.” TQ unintentionally deployed the most scathing critique of every human society Sarah knew about. Or maybe it was intentional, it was hard to tell with him, and Sarah was really trying to pull the truth out of him by just staring hard enough. She needed to borrow Alanna’s Empathy at some point.

  A thump from the ladder interrupted their conversation, followed by another, and then, with a dramatic burst of motion, a more brightly colored camraconda’s form emerged over the edge of the attic’s hatch. “I petition for a ramp!” Smoke-And-Ember announced.

  ”Wh- no! Alanna! Get Alanna to carry you up!” Sarah scrambled to her feet, dodging around the table to go help him the rest of the way up the ladder.

  ”I tried!” Alanna called up from downstairs, the noise of conversation and now soft music coming up through the portal as Sarah got close and looked down on her girlfriend. “He’s being stubborn!”

  Smoke-And-Ember, using his mechanical arms for balance but not putting too much weight on them, leveraged his body the rest of the way onto stable ground, rose up into a slithering pose, and then let out a relieved hiss. “A protagonist needs to be able to get around.” He said.

  ”But you want a ramp.” TQ told him.

  ”Yes. I could get around a ramp.” The other camraconda agreed. “Space is an issue in your home. Some kind of screw shape?” He considered it, then shook his head. “No, humans would have trouble with that, unless you become better at scampering.”

  Sarah looked away from where Alanna was giving her an amused shrug. “Sorry, scampering?”

  ”Ratroaches can scamper!” Smoke-And-Ember said happily. “This lowers their profile and would allow them acceptable access to any mobility space made for camracondas.”

  TQ hissed sadly. “To be able to scamper…” his digital voice was its usual tone, but the way he gazed off to the ceiling made him come across - correctly - as wistfully regretful. “I need legs.” He commented quietly.

  ”Really? Because we could arrange that.” Sarah said as she returned to sitting sideways in a creaking chair at the table. “Shaper surgery is moving along at a good speed! We can get you in there! Especially since Deb is getting more comfortable… ummmm… doing the heavy lifting?”

  ”Doing mind control.” Smoke-And-Ember shook his head as he approached the table and raised himself up to look at what was on the surface. “No thank you.”

  ”I could be mind controlled.” TQ mused. “Some people enjoy that I have heard.”

  Sarah choked on whatever she was about to say, her next words coming out as a squeak. “I’m really seeing why you and James get along!” She said, before laughing and letting the moment wash over her. “He misses you a lot, you know.”

  ”He knows where I live.”

  ”Ah. I have met James.” Smoke-And-Ember said with relaxed knowledge. “Small obstacles seem more stopping than large ones.”

  That was impossible for Sarah to argue with. “It’s true!” She told them. “He could just teleport down, but he’s… well, you can also just invite him over, and he’ll be there!”

  ”That seems like effort.” TQ commented.

  ”Yeah, you two are the same.” Sarah crossed her arms, pouting at the camraconda before relenting as he failed to wither under her scathing judgement.

  Smoke-And-Ember gave a short hiss of amusement at her consternation before swiveling his head toward TQ. “How is Townton living?” He asked the other camraconda.

  ”Nice!” TQ replied, reengaging instantly. “Quite nice. Pleasant. Enjoyable. Another positive adjective.”

  ”Is this overcompensating for a hidden evil, or are you merely like this?” Smoke-And-Ember questioned. “Nevermind. I know. Even if we could not speak the whole of the time, I know who you are.”

  ”Yes, I am very optimistic.” TQ said, and his fellow camraconda made a noise Sarah had never heard from a camraconda before. Like a choked snort almost. “But Townton is nice. It is busy, and loud. Being outside is still scary.”

  Sarah froze for a moment. “…still?” She said in a quiet voice.

  TQ ignored her. “But I have friends there. New friends. And there are new people. Watching everything grow and be built is.” He stopped and shifted on the beanbag, rolling over to stare at them both upside down. “Is. Is something.”

  Ducking down under the table, Smoke-And-Ember met his lens. “Is like watching the Order?”

  ”Different. The Order is busy and active. Townton is busy becoming calm.” TQ’s cables relaxed, and he draped his head down onto the rug. “I feel like I know so many secrets. I know about the mimics and the chanters. I know about the bat spell. I know how to swear at magic not making windows properly.”

  ”Well hang on.” Sarah tried to interject, but with a laugh this time.

  ”I am becoming wise and powerful!” TQ kept going. “But also I live in a place modified for me to live in. I talk to people and do not need to explain myself. I am afraid of being outside, but only because the sky is so large, and not because I am worried someone will hurt and steal me.” His mouth moved into the stretched line of a camraconda smile. Different from human, something that had to be learned and not instantly understood, but still the shape of someone content with the world. “It is becoming my home. My first one, I think.”

  For a moment, everything in the attic was quiet except for the standing fan droning away. TQ’s words hung in the air, and for just a moment, Sarah saw the future. She saw that world, replicated ten billion times. A world where people weren’t afraid, and were able to be soft and kind. A world where there was home, under a sky that might be a little too big.

  ”I should move to Townton.” Smoke-And-Ember said with a studious tap of one of his mechanical arms. “Maybe they need a Responder.”

  ”Or maybe we need a protagonist.” TQ suggested. “We don’t, though. Cam lives there.”

  Sarah raised a hand in curiosity. “Does that mean that Cam is your protagonist, or that Cam is some kind of anti-protagonist deterrent?”

  ”That seems correct, yes.” TQ agreed, unmoving on the floor. “Also. You lured me up here to play board games. But I have no arms. How does this work out?”

  ”It…” Sarah went still, then slapped a palm into her forehead “…doesn’t.” She admitted. “It doesn’t. I’m bad at this! A terrible gesture of non-friendship!” Sarah caught both of the others laughing, and dropped the level of drama she was working with. “But seriously, I’m sorry. You want help getting back downstairs?”

  Instantly, TQ had a reply. ”No.” He said, digital voice easing how sharp that would have been from an organic speaker. “I like it here. And there is no discussion of football.”

  “I like discussions of football…” Sarah said, looking wistfully toward the hatch in the floor.

  ”Really?” Smoke-And-Ember showed genuine interest as he raised his camera head back over the table. “But you do not football. Almost as much as us, and we have no feet.”

  Sarah shrugged. “I like anyone’s interests, really. As long as they aren’t mean! Sports aren’t really my thing, but they’re someone’s thing, and those people often have cool stuff to share that I’d miss otherwise, you know?”

  ”I know now.” TQ said quietly. “I will go back down in a bit to make sure Cheha is alright. But now, can we find a board game that requires no hands?”

  ”We can try!”

  Meanwhile, downstairs, no one noticed Rufus and Ganesh pulling off a flawless heist from the snack zone.

  In a different part of downstairs, in the apartment that was warming up without anyone noticing, becoming slightly less comfortable for habitation in a way that wouldn’t really be recognized until the back patio door was opened again and cold night air flooded in, Anesh was losing his mind trying to explain a thing to Dave.

  ”Yes.” He heard himself say from at his side, two of him teaming up for this. “Because the sport is played by connecting your foot with a ball.”

  ”Foot. Ball.” He said himself, emphasizing the point. “A game of ball, with feet.”

  Dave nodded, seeming to agree with them, and then opened his mouth. “Right. But we already have a football, which is also a sport where you foot a ball.”

  JP, holding one of the apartment’s fancy blue frosted glasses filled with some kind of dungeon beverage, nodded along with Dave. And then he processed his friend’s words, and kept nodding, while saying “Hey, I’m gonna escape before this gives me an aneurysm.” Slowly backing away around the couch, gently stepping over where Keeka was curled on the floor having a conversation with a similarly supine Momo, and ascending the ladder to the attic. Step by step getting out of sight.

  Anesh glanced at Arrush, who was hanging around on the edge of the conversation, but the ratroach shrugged. “I’m interested.” He said simply.

  ”Okay. Dave American football came second. You can’t just steal a name.”

  ”Well hang on.” Dave pointed a finger back defensively. “People are named Dave that are younger than me. And that’s allowed.”

  The other Anesh sighed. ”Sort of a different category of thing.” He said. “Look. The point… wait, hang on, American football barely has ball and foot intersecting! It should be hand ball.”

  ”Or carry ball, maybe?” Anesh suggested, riffing off himself. “Arm ball? I feel like I should be fair here, because handball is already a thing too.”

  Dave raised his eyebrows. “Is it? Is it cool?”

  ”Not to my knowledge.” Anesh admitted. “But I don’t actually know why I know it exists. Look, the point is, only the US calls it soccer.”

  ”But we’re in the US. Also the US is also the only place that uses imperial measurements! That doesn’t… uh… wait that’s a terrible example.” Dave looked away, embarrassed. “The US also… I’m gonna need a minute, this is hard.”

  Anesh swept one hand each to indicate patience. “Take your time. All I was really saying was that I like football anyway.”

  ”I thought you liked cricket!” James had the presence of mind to pretend to be shocked as he walked past carrying a sheet tray, heading for the back patio door and not sticking around for the conversation.

  The door opening did, in fact, bathe the room in soothing cool air, a balm upon everyone for the brief moment James left it open. Anesh shook his head after his boyfriend before turning back to the others, meeting a curious Arrush’s eyes. “I used to watch a lot of cricket because it reminded me of home. But a lot of what I liked about it was actually just memories of my family, and I can go visit them whenever now, and it’s just not something that keeps my brain working if I’m not watching it while writing a thesis.” Anesh sighed. “Football is a lot more active. And people in the Order actually watch it, so there’s a bit more of a social aspect.”

  ”Wait wait. So you don’t play football.” Dave got a clarifying nod, the motion causing the little paper dragon on his shoulder to bob in time with him. “But you do play basketball? Is that name okay?”

  ”It’s a game where a ball goes in a basket.” Arrush added, one curled paw covering the side of his muzzle as he grinned. Dave just nodded rapidly while pointing at him in agreement.

  One Anesh rubbed at his forehead while the other answered. “It’s an American sport, so I think the American who invented it can name it just fine.” He acquiesced. “I have a skill rank in it, anyway. I play basketball because it’s an easy way to get some exercise and do something with people here. Pickup games in the back lot of the Lair happen all the time, after all.” He shrugged, switching which of him was talking. “And because it’s something I can do with James, who I actually do look for opportunities to spend time with. And it makes my boyfriend magically a better shot if I do it with him, because… anyway I prefer football as a viewer. Which is called football. Rename your weird American sport.”

  This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

  ”I assumed the name was an antimeme.” Arrush admitted sheepishly, getting another point and frantic nod of agreement from Dave.

  Dave had an added point. “Also I can’t rename football. But even if I could use that blue power on that scale, people would kill me if I did it.” He pulled out his phone and opened a photo album full of screenshots, holding it up to Anesh. “Look at how many people threatened to murder someone over changing the name of a chess piece.”

  Arrush leaned in to focus on the screen from the side with one of his eyes. “This world is scary sometimes.” He muttered. “But they should rename the bishop, because it confused me.”

  ”Hold up.” Anesh crossed his arms in an X in front of himself. “Dave.”

  ”Yeah?”

  ”That blue power?”

  Arrush straightened up. “Oh.” He said, looking at Dave with concern. “Can you rename things?”

  Dave shrugged casually. ”Yeah?” He said. “I mean, right now I can rename events. It’s a common subtype of blue that comes up. This one isn’t super useful. The ones that I look for are ones that let me rename people.” He didn’t notice the concerned look the Aneshs were giving him, and kept explaining without being prompted. “It turns out it’s a pretty strong effect, and it doesn’t really hurt to use it on a single person. So I find people who are having problems being deadnamed, and use it on them.”

  ”Oh!” Anesh relaxed. “That’s really cool of you, actually.”

  ”Yes? Of course it is. I’m cool.” Dave broke the cardinal rule of actually being cool, which was to never declare that you were cool. He did this intentionally, and all the time, because a true cool person didn’t care about rules. Or at least, that was the general rule of cool he was working with. He didn’t think too hard about it, instead taking a moment to offer a small pet to the dragon on his shoulder. “So what if we wanted to play soccer? Like as an Order thing.”

  Anesh sighed, but was smiling as he shook his head at his friend. “I mean, you could just put a post up. People check the community board a lot. Though I think you’ll mostly get humans for that.”

  Dave tilted his head, looking at Arrush. “Would you not play soccer?” He asked.

  ”I… I can’t.” Arrush said, looking away. “I’m better now. But paws are bad for kicking. The chitin breaks easier, and the… the claws are too spread apart.” He looked down at his own feet, slightly extending one leg and noticing Dave paying scrutinizing attention. “I could keep up running! But I can’t play football.”

  ”That’s a shame.” Anesh shook his head sadly. “I guess most sports are going to be problems, huh? They’re made for humans, and we never thought we’d need to adapt. Camracondas can’t exactly… well can a camraconda play football?” He looked around the living room. “Where’d TQ go?”

  ”Upstairs.” Alanna called over from where she was munching on the snacks James had put out and also feeding the new dog bits of salami. “Hiding!”

  ”Hm.” Anesh frowned. “Well, there is the pluralist ball thing that I think El was working on?”

  Arrush perked up. ”Oh! I am interested in that! But… then there was a fight. And a dungeon. And a sink. And I broke my arm.” His arm wasn’t in a cast anymore, but he was still favoring it. Flinching from every touch that he worried was going to hurt again, even as his natural and magical healing went to work putting him back together. Strangely, it made him feel more normal, because he could see almost everyone else doing the same thing. Alanna did it with her right side, Momo with the arm and leg she kept itching at, and Keeka… always with Keeka Arrush knew they shared the same old wounds. It was almost comforting. He shook off the gloom though. “Is it just for the new people?” He asked about the new sport.

  As if summoned, Momo threw herself over the back of the couch, getting a startled bark from Auberdeen and a chittering sound of panic from Cheha before she kept rolling onto the floor, under the table, and into their conversation before popping to her feet. “Hi!” Momo declared her arrival. “There’s an adult league for plural ball… pluralist? Plural?”

  ”Pluralist.” Anesh confirmed. “Which no longer sounds like language. Fun.”

  ”Anyway yeah, there’s an adult league! It got stalled on starting up, but because someone put a whole open giant room in basement delta, Bill’s getting a play field ready for us. Or at least, he’s ordered his minions to do it.”

  Arrush blinked in an aberrant pattern as he tried to follow her words. “I… I like Bill. And Marcy.” He had met the couple repeatedly at the Lair’s baths, the normal humans slowly becoming familiar over time. They treated him like a person. Everyone did, but they were normal and still treated him like he belonged, and that meant a lot. “But how does the game work?”

  ”Oh!” Momo laughed sheepishly. “So, the basics are that there’s a ball, and if you get it across the line on your opponent’s side, you score a point and reset the round. First to ten wins. But before the game, each team takes turns to make up rules. There’s some specific definition for how clear they have to be, but it’s pretty obvious. You go back and forth, and then for the adult version, you also do the same thing for messing with the field and any equipment that’s allowed. So you get to mitigate any disadvantages for species, or take advantage of weird conditions, that kind of thing.” Momo looked out the window to the patio where James was double checking the grill before turning it on. “Your collective boyfriend fucking loves it. Talk to him sometime, if you want to hear a four hour long dissertation on theorycrafting.”

  ”I… I do like it when he talks…” Arrush said tentatively.

  Anesh set a hand on one of Arrush’s uninjured arms. “It’s okay to like James being passionate, but not be up for him going deep into the weeds on whatever has caught his attention.”

  ”Oh good. Then no.” Arrush nodded, smiling coyly at Anesh.

  Momo barked out a laugh, settling herself back to sit on the edge of the living room’s plush armchair. “But yeah! It’s cool! I’m gonna try to get into it, on El’s demand. You wanna join our team?” She asked Arrush.

  ”…me?” He seemed confused.

  ”Yyyyyyes?” She raised her eyebrows at him, hands in her pockets idly flapping the star-dotted black bathrobe she was wearing over her normal attire. “I mean, I know you don’t need the exercise. But I also know that if you’re on our team, we stand a chance of winning at least once!”

  Arrush ducked his head. “I don’t think I’m going to be useful. I don’t know how to play.”

  ”I have literally never done a sport in my life.” Momo challenged him. “And you once dive tackled a dragon. Actually I think you did that twice? It’s hard to keep track around this place.”

  ”This place being my apartment?” Anesh asked her.

  ”Shut up. Join my team! Oh! You can get the Climb spell for wings and we can be exclusively flyers and then never use that as our opposition devotes several rules to keeping us grounded!”

  Arrush opened his maw, the soft blue glow highlighting his fangs as he paused and thought about how to reply to that. “That seems…” he didn’t want to say stupid, but it was the only word that was coming to mind, “…like… there are better… choices?”

  ”See, you should definitely talk to James about this.” Momo let herself fall backward into the chair, beginning to feel truly relaxed in this other person’s home. “But I’m serious for once! It’ll be cool!”

  ”I’m kinda interested.” Dave admitted. “Can I bring a dragon?”

  Arrush chittered lightly. ”For me to tackle?” He asked.

  ”No, for flying!” Dave missed the joke a little.

  ”I think there’s a thing about ‘summons’ in the rules.” Momo said. “But I didn’t read all of them yet. Also if everyone wants in on this, there’s, like, three whole teams in this apartment right now. We can’t all be on the same team.”

  James slid through the middle of their conversation, one hand gently holding an Anesh in place so he didn’t run into anyone as he moved between the kitchen and the now-lit grill. “Team for what?” He asked.

  ”Pluralist ball!” Momo called after him.

  ”Oh!” James looked like he really wanted to stop and get involved in that on the way back. “Arrush wanna make a team?” He asked quickly instead.

  ”Not me?” Anesh held a hand to his chest in shock.

  James kissed his boyfriend on the neck as he scooted back through the group blocking his easy access. “You would go mad.” He said. “Mostly listening to me theorycraft.” James ignored Momo’s explosive bark of laughter, her natural and unguarded laugh sounding something like a hyena and making him smile in appreciation as he kept heading back toward their patio. He only paused for a moment as he spotted Cheha curled up on the end of the couch with Auberdeen laying next to her. “You doing alright?” He quietly asked the newest ratroach present.

  ”Y-y-y… I am alright.” Cheha stammered. “Aub is telling me about a book.”

  ”Ah.” James sighed, pausing with one hand on the sliding glass door. “I feel really bad that we haven’t found a good way to get Auberdeen a voice, you know?” He shook his head sadly. “I know you don’t want a skulljack right now, or ever, and I respect that. But we’ve got literal magic. I just wish there was some option.”

  Cheha’s chitin plated neck creaked as she twisted to look at Auberdeen with confusion, before turning her multitude of eyes back on James. “W-what?” She asked.

  Not letting things get any farther, Auberdeen added herself to the conversation, a glint of green light coming off a collar James did not remember ever putting on her. ”I can talk.” She said. Or her authority said for her.

  ”…since when?!” James’ incredulity rose over the other conversations happening around his apartment.

  ”The past?” Auberdeen asked. Her voice sounded like her, somehow. Not like barks and growls and other canine sounds, but like her persona translated into speech. Steady and a little slow to get started, but curious about the world and interested in participating. “Time is hard. I don’t know.”

  ”This is a Dave situation all over again!” James exclaimed, though tempering his volume. “Do you have a mecha too?”

  Auberdeen looked away from him almost wistfully. “No. I am a dog.” She said. And James made a mental note to remind her later that being a dog apparently wasn’t a barrier to anything, including probably being a mech pilot.

  ”I’m learning this now.” James stated, looking over at where Alanna looked like she was biting down on her own mouth to stop from laughing, eyes dancing with amusement. “Literally everyone else knew about this, didn’t they?”

  ”Noooooo.” Auberdeen tried to look contrite, but it didn’t work on a dog whose tail wagged like hers. “There are lots of people outside!” She added.

  Laughing silently and shaking his head, James just smiled back at her. “I’m glad we found a solution for ya.” He said. “We’ll talk later. Oh! How hungry are you? I can ask now!”

  ”Yes!” Auberdeen barked. And then didn’t add anything else.

  James’ smile stilled as he realized she was planning to eat literally everything he made. “Riiiiight. Right. That checks out. I guess I didn’t need language to hear that part. Cheha? Are you hungry, and are you a vegetarian?”

  ”I… I am. And I can eat anything.”

  ”But do you want to?” James prompted. “Cause I’ve got veggie options.”

  ”Oh.” She looked like she wanted to melt into the couch at the question, but Auberdeen leaning her heavy head against Cheha’s flank gave her an amount of reassurance. “Yes. P-please?”

  ”Got it.” He gave her a quiet thumbs up as he slipped outside again into the cold. “People need to tell me things…” he muttered to himself as he went.

  From by the kitchen counter, Alanna held back a maniacal chuckle. Though she was also just now learning that Auberdeen could speak, and that she just hadn’t noticed somehow, which was a little jarring. Alanna knew she was spending less and less time at home as she took care of her sisters, took care of her new responsibilities, and slowly lost sight of her long term plans. But dang. She started to lean back, but froze as she realized she was about to crush one of Cam’s wings. “Shit, sorry.” She started to say, before Cam deftly twitched the connecting strut of the limb coming out of her shoulder and maneuvered the wing itself out of Alanna’s threat zone, seeming without noticing.

  Cam had noticed, but the reaction actually was more reflexive for her. “I am unhurt.” She told Alanna, slowly looking around the room and the other conversations happening, one eye kept on where Rufus was trying to communicate to Zhu that he wanted the navigator to put those manifested wings to use so they could learn if a stapler could fly. “Though I have lost track of Anesh. Or…”

  ”The Anesh you were talking to?” Alanna grinned, leaning back now without the worry of breaking someone’s wing bones. “Was it more football?” She asked.

  ”Yes.” Cam nodded. “I know about football, but I don’t know… about it. Does that make sense?”

  Alanna crunched a carrot stick in half as she surveyed the domain of her full apartment. ”Sure. There’s a lot that gets added when someone just cares about something. There are so many things I don’t care about, but I’ll listen to the nerds we work with pop off about them because it’s kinda cool to get to… ehhhh… see it through their lens? I have no idea if that term is gonna still work with camracondas around.”

  ”Camracondas also see through lenses.” Cam offered sympathetically. “So our language isn’t falling apart just yet.”

  ”See, you put a qualifier in there, and I don’t like that.”

  The quiet smile from Cam was worth a lot to Alanna, who had known her from the first time she’d arrived and been a shell of a person. “It will be okay.” She told Alanna, using a tone that most people reserved for the opening lines of fables. “It’s only the end of things.”

  ”Oh, that apocalypse. Right.” Alanna grumbled. “I’m not gonna say I don’t actually believe in it, but it’s not like we can see it coming if it’s too big. Also language will be fine. Also you clearly aren’t worried!”

  Cam reached between them almost daintily, slender fingers selecting a single morsel out of the snacks James had set out and that the two of them and one thrilled dog had been kind of monopolizing. “My world ended at least once already and I’ve found it rejuvenating.” She said.

  Alanna slowly turned her head, unblinkingly staring at Cam for a long minute, looking for any sign that the other woman was being unserious. And then, the tiny crack of a smile on Cam’s face. “You made a joke.” Alanna said, almost disbelieving.

  ”I make jokes.” Cam’s smile banished itself. And then, more indignantly, “I am good at jokes! It’s been months since I learned how to make jokes.”

  For a slight moment, there was a tension that Alanna felt, a worry that she’d stepped on an unknown line. And in a way, she had, but then the humor of Cam declaring herself good at jokes caught up to her, and, intentional joke or not, Alanna found herself laughing with a lot less control than usual. “Nnnnooooo!” She gasped out, still while wheezing, when Cam asked if she was okay. “I’m dying!”

  Cam was almost offended. But then the joke of it caught her too, and she found herself smiling a little as she let Alanna collapse in on herself. “See?” She said instead. “Good at jokes.”

  Taking a sharp breath, Alanna held it in her lungs, raising herself up to her full height and puffing out her cheeks, then letting it out at a slow rate as she calmed down. “Touche.” She told Cam. “I guess when you decide to learn stuff, you learn it, huh?”

  ”An orb would have been easier.” Cam admitted, her wings drooping behind her. “But I’m learning that I like learning. Talking to Anesh, for example. Sports are such a small thing. But there is so much emotion in them. Nate won’t, or perhaps can’t explain why he feels the way he does about hockey. And I know how hockey is played and what I think about it, but that just makes it more engaging to understand a new aspect of that… that…” She faltered, a feeling of conversational vulnerability that she was normally guarded against. “…thing.”

  ”Everyone I’m smooching likes the orbs.” Alanna said easily, trying to brush past the discomfort. “And I get it. I like skill ranks too. But there’s something fun about learning from nothing.”

  ”I’ve had to learn a lot of things from nothing.” Cam replied, leaning back on the counter next to Alanna and staring out across the room and through the glass door to where her sister was hiding outside. “It’s less fun than you think. Most people get to learn from something.”

  ”Hey, you got to learn from knowing how to run a covert op. That’s not nothing.”

  Cam gave Alanna the look that Nate reserved for people who were being cute about operational staging. “I would have rather gotten to have your upbringing.”

  ”Oh, don’t say that, my ‘upbringing’” Alanna tried to imitate Cam’s voice and mostly succeeded, “was shit. Steal Anesh’s upbringing. He still has parents that love him! Somehow! You could replace one of him and they might not notice!”

  Shaking her head, and also gently passing one of the snack plates to Momo so she could transfer it to the center of the table where everyone could realize they were surprisingly hungry and fall on it like locusts, Cam just sighed. “Maybe I am okay as I am. Or maybe I will keep making mistakes. Such as leaving my sister in the company of your sworn partner.”

  ”He’s not that bad.” Alanna rushed to James’ defense, if languid slinking could be counted as a rush.

  “He gave me an existential crisis so bad it destroyed my loyalty to a demigod and he did it through secondhand contact.” Cam challenged.

  ”God my boyfriend is fucking hot.” Alanna heard herself say out loud. “Wait, I mean… actually no I stand by that.”

  ”I wasn’t going to argue.” Cam said, and then as Alanna’s face lit up like she’d been handed a gift wrapped conversational present, smoothly added, “Or agree with you.” causing Alanna’s smile to comically slip away, leaving only Cam’s grin in place. “Should I check on her?” She asked suddenly, the shift in tone to one of a very normal-seeming anxiety jarring Alanna.

  Alanna looked out at the patio, where James looked like he was having a great time messing with their grill as the new Camille stood to the side and kept a sideways watch on him. “What happened to you when you talked to James?” She asked quietly.

  ”Ah.” Cam said. “I will leave-“ there was a sudden motion from the attic ladder, and Cam practically blurred as she lunged off the counter, dove over the couch, and caught Smoke-And-Ember before he slammed into the brick around the apartment’s fireplace. “Don’t do that.” She said, relaxing her muscles as she set him down, both grateful for Keeka’s absence from his hiding spot and wondering when, exactly, he’d slipped past her vigil of the space.

  Smoke-And-Ember gasped out a burst of air, though his actual voice was unaffected. “My plan has failed.”

  ”Smart to acknowledge that.” Cam said, dumping him over the edge of the couch, and hearing a startled squeak as she dusted her hands off.

  ”Oh.” Smoke-And-Ember’s voice was muffled by the cushions. “Hello Cheha! Hello Dave! Are you excited for more adventures this weekend?”

  ”I’m actually not in your D&D game…” Dave said, shifting away to dodge the lashing camraconda tail as Smoke-And-Ember straightened himself out.

  “We should tell you about our adventures then!” He replied.

  Cam shook her head, glad that falling from the ceiling hadn’t caused any damage that would ruin an otherwise mostly pleasant social gathering. She stole one more glance out the door toward her sister, before going back to resume standing next to Alanna, where she knew she could comfortably be semi-aware of every ongoing conversation in the building. Mostly. And in the meantime, she was learning something new.

  How to take smug satisfaction in dumping a sibling into an awkward situation.

  Outside, it was raining. And James was mostly sheltered from it. November in Oregon was, like every other month in Oregon, erratic in the moment to moment weather. There was a joke around here that, if you didn’t like what it looked like outside, you could just wait five minutes. And that was mostly true, though it wasn’t going to get any warmer. But at least the wind would stop soon.

  ”Maybe I could get a miniature green totem for the porch that keeps water out.” James mused to himself.

  ”You contain water.” Camille the Ochre said suddenly. James suppressed a smile at it; he’d started to assume she wasn’t going to talk at all, which would have been fine, but the way she stated the information was just…

  It reminded him a lot of his early experiences with two of her sisters. “Yeah, that’s an issue.” James admitted. Maybe just rain then. But then Anesh’s plants would probably perish.” There were a couple little planter boxes hanging over the edge of the railing. Anesh’s plants were struggling already, but hanging on. The Camille said something that sounded like a single deferring word, the noise covered by a burst of wind while James waited for the grill to heat up. “Hey, you want me to shut up?”

  ”I don’t know.” Came the honest answer. “I came out here to avoid people.”

  ”I’d make a joke that I barely count as people, but my therapist has advised me that she knows where I live and will take revenge on me for that.”

  ”Oh.” The Camille took a moment as James watched the wind and rain lull out. She watched him check the grill’s thermometer, nodding to himself as he opened it up and started transferring a row of seasoned skewered meat and veggies from the trays he had over to the hot metal. “Will they?”

  James paused briefly to look up. “I don’t know!” He admitted. “But it’s the kind of sentence that works on me, cause it’s funny, and I do know I should be better.”

  The young woman shifted, her thin limbs and sharp facial features even more obvious than they were on her sister who had been eating real meals for a while now. “People know her.” She said suddenly, not really moving that much but definitely indicating Cam.

  ”Yeah. She’s important to a bunch of people.” James nodded. “Also, I know she’s trying her best with you, but if you need anything, let me know okay?”

  ”If I am going to stay,” Camille the Ochre said, “and I haven’t decided if I will, then I will need a name.” James started to make a glib reply, and she ignored him, continuing to talk. “Camille wasn’t my name. And Cam is taken. And I don’t know anything about what names mean.”

  James nodded as he finished getting the food going, stacking his trays and sliding them onto a little wooden shelf that he’d found at a secondhand store and was the perfect height for their porch. “Well, you’ve got infinite options with us.” He said instead of joking about how she could also be Cam to confuse people. “The Order kind of has a background radiation of encouraging people to find names they vibe with. Mostly without judgement.”

  ”Mostly.” The unarmored girl put a lot of spice on the single word.

  Chuckling, James shut the grill and nodded. “Mostly. Dance’s full name is kinda silly, and everyone, herself included, calls her Dance. You can ask her about it sometime. But yeah, it’s okay to just pick a name and see if you like it, and change if you don’t. Or just let someone else name you. I know at least a few people went that route.” He felt a wistful sense of quiet aggravation. “Including me. Though at this point… eh. Nevermind.”

  “How do you know-“ She started to ask a question, but an interruption separate from the weather distracted both of them.

  From down below, walking out of the darkened parking lot, a familiar young woman’s voice yelled up at James. “Hey!” Alex shouted as she waved at him. “I brought you a paladin as a party favor!” She called up, stepping aside as Spire-Cast-Behind slithered around the massive puddle of water forming in the lake that the apartment’s residents used to park cars in.

  ”This is a party for friends!” James called back at her with a cheerful snark in his voice.

  ”We’re friends?!” Alex’s mock excitement got a real laugh from James.

  “I was hoping for Simon but I’ll take you!”

  “I wasn’t sure so I brought someone I could hide behind!” Alex called back. “Simon’s busy! Something about attacking and dethroning god?”

  ”Hello. Are we yelling now? And will the rain be continuing?” Spire had a modified red raincoat draped over her form, hood up over her head so only her lens was peeking out, barely visible in the suburban night’s darkness.

  James rolled his eyes. “Get up here you idiots, I have too much food so you have to help with that.” He shouted. “And stop bothering my neighbors! They live here too!”

  “Are they… is this…” the Camille seemed confused. Mostly because how James interacted with people was confusing. So in an attempt to be polite to the person who had, technically, spared her life, she decided to drop whatever she was trying to ask and focus on something else James had said. “Do you require help?” He had said he needed help.

  “Hm? Oh. Really quick, just in case Cam hasn’t told you. Do you know nothing is required of you?”

  She shifted to stop leaning forward over the balcony, wiping some of the rain off her forehead with an arm that had whorls in her skin from where her most recent injury had scarred in strange ways. “People have said that. But I could be helpful. I could be useful.”

  ”Do you want to help?” James asked pointedly.

  “I-“ She stopped herself. Restraining the words with almost physical force. The question had not been leading, it had not been sarcastic, and it had not been from her Father. The reflex, the careful and often magical analysis of what exactly would fall in what direction, didn’t work on words very well. So she was left to her own devices to predict what her answer should be, and what the outcome of it would be left as. And Ochres were not made to do that. They were made to topple structures, not conversations. “I don’t know.” She said, panicking as she ran out of time to give a response that wouldn’t be tainted by the amount of time taken to give it.

  James glanced at her like he’d just read every thought she’d had. And the Camille started to panic even more. It was an unfamiliar emotion; she hadn’t felt it even when she had been imprisoned, or incapacitated, or imprisoned again. But she felt it now just from the small frown of this one single human who wasn’t even interested in hurting her.

  “A lot of the time, I say I want to help reflexively.” James said, turning back to his cooking and smiling sadly down at the flames licking at skewered chicken and vegetables. “I was raised… by parents that loved me. But loving someone doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting them. And they really fucked me up in a lot of ways. So I feel like if I’m not useful, then I’m not valuable, so when someone asks if I want to help, I say yes without thinking.” He didn’t look at the new Camille, who was standing frozen as if maybe she could, if she didn’t move, avoid the predator that was this line of conversation. “So when you almost said I would right there, I heard it. I can hear you trying. And I know how fucking hard it is. No one is going to be angry with you for saying no. That’s a fundamental right in the Order. You pitch in to your comfort level, not because anyone makes you. And that includes at little hangouts like this.”

  “…I am beginning to understand.” She said, her eyes tracking movement from both him, and the people inside the apartment where the new arrivals were conversing with her sister, and moving through the increasingly crowded space.

  James looked away from where Spire and Alex were headed toward his post. ”Hm?”

  ”What she sees when she looks at you.” The Camille shifted, setting one hand covered in wavy scars on the railing again as she looked out over the cracked asphalt of a mostly unmaintained and increasingly flooded apartment parking lot. To the tangles of blackberries weathering the winter and the tall grass of the field that a tarmac path wound through toward distant commercialism. “Our father calls us soldiers, but treats us like weapons.” She voiced what Cam had been telling her, but what she had been hoping to never have to actually admit.

  ”I… I know.” James said quietly, tongs clacking in a light metal rap as he turned food over with precise motions. He wanted to say more, but it didn’t usually help to tell people what their own trauma was. You had to give them space to understand on their own.

  The new Camille didn’t turn, but he got the impression he was being watched. ”You, though, tell us we are normal. And treat us like we are... I don’t know. Something important. Something precious. And I think that is why she has chosen to be your knight.” She kept speaking even as the patio door opened, trying not to wonder at the feeling of exposure that she felt from just simple words. It wasn’t the absence of her armor that prompted it, but something in what she was saying. Like prying open parts of her chest, but willingly.

  Spire-Cast-Behind slithered out onto the wooden construction of the patio, leading Alex as the human woman followed her. “Oh, are we talking about the James aura?”

  “You cannot call it that.” James said instantly. And the Camille felt the change in the conversation. Like he, too, had been vulnerable, and now the armor went back up. Not as much as most people wore, but she could sense the defenses.

  ”You do do this though!” Alex added happily. “This happens to people around you! You talk to everyone, make them go to therapy, save their lives, give them free money, fix all their problems, care about them, and then, magically, everyone wants to throw in with you!”

  Spire-Cast-Behind gave a bobbing nod, two of her four mechanical arms folding neatly across the front of her body. “We have measured it.”

  ”Why did you- no, nevermind.” James ignored their respective forms of beaming smiles as he started unloading the first wave of finished food from the grill. Stacking a pair of plates, he handed them off to the two. “Take these inside before people come out here and start eating off the grill.” He said, a little too late as Arrush had stuck his snout out the door, drawn by the smell of food. The ratroach and the paladin duo traded places as the tall nonhuman padded out onto the cold wood, ignoring the discomfort in his bare paws as he settled a claw on James’ shoulder. “Good! And Alex, tell me about the fucking whale monster! I need to know this! God dammit she’s gone. I can’t forget about that, don’t let me forget that.” He ordered Arrush, who nodded past him, staring at a skewer of peppers and onions that he planned on eating well before it cooled down.

  Camille understood this less. “Is this… enjoyable?” She asked.

  Before James could answer, Arrush beat him to it, because he understood perfectly. He’d asked the same thing, after all. “When everyone knows there are no stakes, and no one is mad or going to be hurt, fighting like this is… funny. Like sparring, but not to train, just to enjoy moving together. Dancing with words.” He told her, wondering if the way she looked at him was because she had never heard something like it before, or if she had never heard it from something like him.

  ”Oh!” James perked up under Arrush’s light massage while he continued to check the meat for doneness. “We could also actually dance, if you want! No, wait, I instantly regret saying that. I can’t dance.”

  ”I can.” Arrush admitted, also feeling a wash of embarrassment as he spoke. “I have… a skill rank. In swing dancing.” He shifted his footpaws, claws scraping at the deck as James turned under him, thinking about the skill leading him to reflexively clasping the human’s hand that wasn’t holding grill tongs and pulling him into a quick spin before one of Arrush’s extra arms wrapped around James’ flank. “S-sorry!” He said, but his chitter as he spoke was one of amusement.

  Alex ducked past the duo as she returned to the deck, standing next to the Camille that almost noticeably flinched away from her. “I’m just here for food, James has all the actual chicken still on the grill.” She said. “Also to hide from JP so he can’t pretend to flirt with me!”

  ”Oh. Is he pretending? I think he tried to do that to me but I didn’t say anything in reply.” The woman Alex was talking to stated.

  ”That’s… fucking hilarious. That’s the funniest damn thing anyone has ever done to that man. Do it again where I can see his expression.” Alex held a hand up to her mouth, loosely biting a finger to hold back a laugh.

  Camille wasn’t really paying attention. Instead, she was watching two people that confused her. “Their relationship is confusing.” She said very quietly. And then before Alex could say anything, or the twitch from Arrush’s sensitive hearing could lead to him saying anything, or before the obvious fact that James could clearly hear her perfectly well led to him jumping in, she continued. “All relationships are confusing. I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

  ”I feel that way every day.” Arrush said as he set James back in his place by the grill, the human smiling but also blushing so brightly that his whole face was splashed red.

  ”Also so far you’re doing better than your sister the first time she was in my apartment!” James offered helpfully. When the Ochre gave him a curious look, he explained, “I asked her a foundational question about who she wanted to be and she jumped off the balcony, and I didn’t see her for two days.”

  ”Ah.” That made… a lot of sense. She’d been considering jumping, but she’d noticed the downstairs neighbors had a cat roaming the area, and the risk of landing on it was too high. Cats constantly evaded her detection. “It would be… it would be easier if you told me what to do.” She tried not to make it sound like she was desperate.

  James nodded as he clicked the tongs shut and spun the dials on the grill to off with a vibrant energy. “I believe you!” He failed to actually give her a direction though, except for one. “Come on inside. You can eat with us and maybe get to know some people and,” his voice pitched to a more openly sincere tone, “I promise things will get better.”

  ”Okay.” She said, waiting for the others before following inside. Though she did still dodge Alex’s attempt to pat her on the shoulder.

  Inside was like a warm oven after too long standing in the winter air. Reed and Anesh were talking about wands with Momo, Smoke-And-Ember had gotten Cheha to excitedly explain her D&D character to Dave and Auberdeen, Sarah had dragged TQ down the attic ladder safely and she and Anesh were currently flipping a probably-not-enchanted coin to determine who got to pick the background music, and Rufus was currently sitting on Alanna’s head and looking like the world’s most exasperated friend as Ganesh tried to give Dave’s new paper drake flying lessons. It was, James decided, a lot. But it was also his friends, and people he wanted to be better friends with, and he’d put up with anything for them.

  ”Hey!” He announced. “I brought you food! I’m just gonna pile plates on the table, everyone grab what looks good! Alanna, can you get a stack of dishes for us?” His girlfriend shot him a thumbs up, turning to look in their kitchen, and deciding that rather than walking around two pieces of furniture and a camraconda, she’d just Move Person herself in and out, which seemed like it might be a waste. “Alright, cool. Hey, where’s… Keeka? And at least one Anesh?”

  ”Most of me is here.” Anesh said, three of him looking around. “Yeah, I’m missing one me. Weird. I never actually notice because we don’t get together all at once that often.”

  James was about to say something when the small side door to the basement staircase popped open. “Oh right. I always forget we have… a… cellar…” he trailed off as Keeka and Anesh stepped out into the living room.

  ”W-what?” Keeka asked, parks of his face instantly taking on a radioactive green hue.

  ”Uh… hi, everyone, myself included.” Anesh waved.

  The other Anesh all sighed in unison. “Oh come on.” One of him said, while another pointed at himself. “You’re wearing the wrong shirts.” He told himself and Keeka, both of their respective blushes growing stronger by the second as they were scrutinized by the room.

  ”I also always forget about our cellar!” Alanna said cheerfully as she set the stack of dishware on the central table. “Do you think our downstairs neighbors can forget about our cellar what with the strange noises sometimes coming from it, or is it more dimensionally displaced than that?”

  ”Oh!” Keeka took the opening to try to shove aside his own embarrassment even as Anesh made an effort to hide behind him. “Don’t worry! I am very sneaky.”

  It was, James felt as everyone grabbed food - or was prevented from grabbing a lot of food, in Auberdeen’s case - a very nice night.

  He could almost forget the world was going to end. But that was the future, and right now, he just settled in to talk to everyone, to hear ideas and stories, to let himself be embraced by something powerfully optimistic in the form of a group of friends who felt like they had a future.

  Later, hours later, well after things had wound down, James found himself standing on the patio again. He’d heard Reed’s suggestion for the emergency exit orb and thought it was just stupid enough to work. He’d learned a lot about storm orb imbuement and was eager to try that tomorrow. He’d gotten Alex to tell everyone that the sea monster disrupting global shipping was some sort of massive floating crystal and that it had fled underwater as soon as she touched it, which was unhelpful, but at least one ship hadn’t gotten rammed and sunk. He’d gotten hit in the head by a young paper dragon still learning to control their wings, as was tradition. He’d heard TQ’s idea for a transit system for Townton composed entirely of waterslides, which he had, regretfully, vetoed, leading to his denouncement by the camraconda. He’d re-earned his friend’s trust when he’d suggested instead some kind of high capacity zipline system, which James had put way too much thought into.

  It was kind of impressive how a little food, a little music, and a few shared stories, could bring people together. Granted, a lot of them were people he’d known for over a decade. But still.

  The door behind him slid open and Alanna’s familiar footsteps sounded behind him. “You are radiating, my guy.” Her quiet voice said as she stepped up next to him to lean over one of Anesh’s planter boxes and stare out at the nighttime lights of the slice of their town that they could see from their second floor apartment.

  ”Thanks?” James asked.

  ”I mean to the Empathy.” Alanna clarified. “God, it’s been a lot tonight. Everyone is… I’m getting used to it. I swear I’m getting used to it. And I don’t wanna level up Charisma or Reputation because those sound like fucking problems. But Empathy’s gotten to letting me feel how scared people are under everything a lot of the time.” She puffed out a breath of air, the fog from her lungs hanging in the cold air before a breeze took it away. “Especially you.”

  James smiled. “Me? Not new-Camille, or Cheha?”

  ”Cheha believes in us so much it’s like a blast furnace of optimism.” Alanna told him, glancing back and upward as if she could see through a nonexistent window into the attic where the ratroach was sleeping on the futon. “Ochre - I’m gonna name her if no one else does, watch out for that - she’s not afraid. She knows she’ll be hurt if she disobeys. It’s way worse. I know we can’t ‘kill’ pillars, but I do think we should test out if an anti-material rifle would count Lloyd as ‘material’.”

  ”With you there.” James nodded. “But while we’re far away. Apparently they leak magic when they don’t die.”

  ”Yeah. And doesn’t that explain a lot.”

  ”Oh right.” James snapped his fingers. “Alex said that a while back too and we nearly died a minute later so I never got an explanation! What does that mean?”

  Alanna leaned into him, pressing their shoulders together, quietly sharing comfort as she also shared a grim theory. “We definitely did serious damage to Blitzkrieg when we met her the first time.” She said. “And… and then what happened?”

  ”…and since then I have carved a path of devastation through our enemies to the point that people in the Order joke that strategic demolition is a consequence of calling me certain dismissive names.” James answered. “Well shit.”

  ”Might be nothing.” Alanna shrugged. “But.”

  ”But.” James agreed. “Anyway. If your Empathy is becoming a problem, we should deal with that now. Get another Sewer book. Stonewall the leveling progress.”

  Alanna brought her arm up to rub the back of his neck as James wrapped his own arm around her waist. “Sure, whatever.” She said. “What’s wrong, buddy? Everyone else went home or is sleeping. Or… well,” her smile was that of a deeply satisfied cat, but it faded soon enough, “you know. In a bed at least. But you’re out here.”

  ”Radiating.”

  ”My boyfriend, the emotional plutonium.” Alanna’s fingers ran up under his ponytail, pressing into his skin in a way that made James’ brain shut down. “Come on. Don’t deflect. We’re trauma pals. We have a club for it and everything.”

  James was halfway through thinking up a joke when he just… stopped. Gave up, and gave in. Leaning into Alanna, he turned away from the sky’s drizzle and the city’s night glow, and pressed himself into her chest. “I’m falling apart.” He said in a breathless voice. “I’m having nightmares where the only thing I remember is what it feels like to have a man’s skull burst while I’m holding it and Officium’s voice demanding that I do it again. I’m terrified because the world is supposed to end and I don’t know what to do, because we can’t even see it coming. We almost lost a city. How many cities have we lost? How many people are on this planet right now? How many should there be? Alanna we don’t know what dungeons are or what magic is or what we’re doing and we’re supposed to be… I don’t know. Heroes? Are we going to be enough? I’m… I’m just… what…” James sucked in a breath, and forced himself to stop at just the one. “Tonight was nice, and why am I allowed to have nice things when the world is dying? When people are dying, and I could be there? Shouldn’t I be doing something, or, or…” he trailed off. “That’s all.” He told her in a strangely flat voice. “I’m just falling apart a little.”

  Alanna’s arms crushed James against her body as she sighed into his head. “Dumbass.” She said simply. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t help anyone if you burn out. Fun fact, burnout has a massive emotional impact on people, and now, I know! I know… a lot!” She laughed without humor. “There’s so many things that fuck people up. You dodge most of them, good job.”

  ”This is a weird pep talk.” James muttered into her chest.

  ”We can’t do everything.” Alanna said. “You get one real choice. Do nothing, or do something. When you brought me in, when you and Anesh told me about all of this dungeon shit, I told you it was okay to grow before you did something. Remember?”

  ”Vaguely.”

  ”Well we grew.” Alanna pushed him back, holding him by the shoulders and staring into his eyes. “And now we’re doing something. Can we optimize? Maybe. In fact, probably. That’s why we have Research. And paladins. And conversations and a chat server and meetings. But are we doing something?”

  James didn’t hear an answer forthcoming from her. “Yeah.” He answered himself. “I mean, yeah. Half the people over tonight are only alive because of us. So… I know we’re doing something.”

  ”Then just keep making that choice.” Alanna hugged him again. “The world ends for a million people a day. Some of them, for the last time.” She settled her chin on the top of his head. “I’m gonna just repeat what Sarah told me, and what you told me. Just because the world ends doesn’t mean we don’t have to get up tomorrow.” She felt James squeeze her tighter. “You wanna hang out here a bit longer? Or do you wanna come to bed and sprawl out in a pile of your lovers?”

  ”…that one.” James admitted, his stomach fluttering at the thought. “Especially since Zhu took off for ‘a project’ earlier, so it won’t bother him.”

  ”I gotta talk to him sometime soon.” Alanna sighed. “Yeah, come to bed. You can save someone’s world tomorrow. And if you have nightmares I’ll plug into your brain and kick the shit out of them.”

  James shook with a silent laugh. ”Anesh did that to me once.” He said. “Wait, no, twice. Fuck, we’re so fucking lucky to have him.”

  ”I know, right? Honestly I’m not sure how we keep getting away with this.” Alanna’s hand wandered lower to grab James’ butt. “Come on.” She slid the patio door open and pushed him forward.

  ”Hey.” He said, turning back before reentering their apartment. “Love you.”

  ”Love you too, buddy. And not just because you made me a new world.”

  There is a discord! Come hang out with us.

  There is a wiki! It's starting to become helpful.