"I used to dream about the end of the world. Now I intend to live forever." -@hal-monitor-

  _____

  James glowered at the image in front of him.

  ”You’re glowering.” Anesh whispered to him from the seat next to his.

  ”Thank you I am aware.” James hissed back. “I’d hoped we could do… more with this.” He said out loud.

  The rest of the planning council made agreeable noises. Mostly. A couple people were aware that every update came with costs, and while the Order was more than rich enough to keep up with any needs for a thousand, or even maybe ten thousand people, they wouldn’t be able to scale up forever if they insisted on perfection for every situation. Usually those people were Karen, but she wasn’t on the rotation for this job today, so the role was filled by a human woman named Emily Hess who had been recruited after losing a nearby small election for water district representative. She was competent, spoke her mind, was invested in the future her children would be inheriting, and had adapted well to the whole… everything. Not that she didn’t have things holding her back, but James felt like she was working in good faith, and that was often enough.

  Today’s meeting was about Townton. Nothing serious, just a dozen different decisions needed making. The council was made up of people in the Order approved by general vote, who were less like leaders and more like organizers. When decisions needed to be made that didn’t have clear answers, some of them were plucked from the rotation and put in a room, with the target objective of maximizing the amount of good the Order was doing within their domain. In this case, the domain of Townton.

  James was here because paladins got invited to every meeting, and it was good practice for them to sit in on as many as possible. Anesh was here because he was on the list, like the other four people in the room.

  “It isn’t useless.” Scent-Of-Rain said quickly, her voice carrying a slight nervous reverb. “We will build things that can use the magic.”

  Juan looked up from his own tablet, the man refusing to waste paper on printed reports especially in a world where he could put things in his brain. ”Just not our favorite kind of things.” He said. “Or at least, not until we learn how to draw non-Euclidean spaces on a flat piece of paper.”

  “That… might not be impossible…” Anesh sounded like he regretted speaking even as the words were leaving his mouth. “I’m not actually an architect, but blueprints aren’t literal. They already use notation and jargon, don’t they?”

  ”Yeah. We just don’t have any for compressed spaces. And I don’t think we could write small enough to make it fit. Not the way we do things.” James said.

  ”Especially not if you plan on changing the blueprints.” Mrs. Hess spoke up, putting heavy emphasis on odd parts of her sentence. Not quite an accent, just a quirk of speaking. “Which you would. No offense.” She added dully, as if by reflex, saying the words like a ritual and not like she’d actually considered if she was giving offense at all. “But I’ve been working in Townton for just four months now, and I’ve seen two civil engineering miracles drop out of the sky.”

  James propped his elbow up on the table to hold up a flat hand. “What was the second one?”

  ”The blueprints.”

  ”What was the first one?”

  ”The security condors.”

  James and Anesh shared a confused look, before James cast that expression around at the rest of the table. But everyone else had the same face he did, like they were trying desperately to remember something important that was said a third of a year ago. “…at the risk of sounding like the dumbest paladin in this order, what exactly makes the camcondors a factor in city design? Much less a good one!”

  The fact that there was dungeon life leaking into the local ecosystem was concerning, but it had clearly been happening since before the Order had even taken custody of the ruined chunk of Tennessee. They were still debating if they should try to purge anything otherworldly, and it was actually one of the more contentious issues they had right now.

  It was really easy to say starvation is bad let’s feed people, because there was no disagreement with the idea unless someone was a bastard and lots of options for improving resource use to tackle the problem. It was less easy, but still clear in principle, to say we can improve this industry and make it cleaner and safer and faster lets do it, because while there were still questions about if a given industry should exist, there was still general consensus that reducing harm was better than doing nothing.

  It was a bit harder to say dungeons are part of the world let's let their life forms into ecosystems. Humans couldn’t even agree on if life forms from different parts of the same continent should be allowed into other ecosystems! It didn’t really matter if dungeons were natural or not, they were still real, and that meant there was an equally real question of what the lines were in terms of ecological preservation, and accepting that the ecosystems of Earth were never going to stay the same. But that had kind of always been the case already, and there was a lot that could be done to stop invasive species if you really wanted to.

  Due to Townton’s geography and relative isolation, it wasn’t a massive question yet. But if anything was gonna break that stalemate, it was the camcondors. Or security condors. Whatever they were calling them. The feathered flying multiheaded hydras that loved to circle over the city on hot days and settled down on ruined rooftop ledges and still-standing power poles at night.

  ”I’m also kinda curious.” Juan said. “I’ve been living in one of the foster homes for a while now, and I don’t think any of the kids have said anything about the vultures. They’re there, sure, but they’re overhead so much and nothing bad ever happens, they don’t even make people nervous anymore.”

  ”You… you mean they’re not… ours?” Mrs. Hess asked with slowly dawning horror.

  James tapped a finger on his lips. “That is not the thing I wanted to hear today.”

  ”But they’re helpful!” She protested, even though there was no actual argument going on. “Has no one looked at the statistics we track for Townton?!”

  ”We barely have the people to run Townton, much less track…” Juan stopped talking. “Oh there they are.” He said as he scrolled down the document he had open. “Okay, what about them?”

  James, flipping through his own printout, found and scanned the same page, and had an answer before Juan had really finished asking. “Holy shit, that’s a low rate of injury.” He said.

  ”Do humans normally sustain injuries at random?” Scent-Of-Rain asked before hissing with an unconscious lash of her tail. “No nevermind I work with children I know the answer.”

  ”Yeah, this is… lower than most places.” James didn’t have the exact rates off the top of his head, and the fact that Townton wasn’t up to even having a capita to per made it a bit less useful as data, but he knew for a fact the number was way too low. “The camcondors are involved in this? How?”

  Emily looked at the table like they were insane. “They… they reverse things. Or undo things. Just in small spots, but it’s absolutely them. Collisions, spills, falls, they’re very attentive. I thought that was why they were there!”

  ”We don’t-“

  ”I know we don’t keep life as tools! I am saying that I thought you had asked them!” The woman snapped at James. “And now you’re telling me there are wild animals that have a habit of rewinding time on our citizens!”

  ”I absolutely was not telling you that.” James said flatly. “You are telling me that. I didn’t have a fucking clue this was going on. Did anyone know about this?” His voice rose sharply as he looked around the council meeting.

  Ben raised his hand from the end of the table, not looking up from his laptop. “I knew this was going on.”

  ”Ben when did you even get here?” James demanded.

  ”Sorry I’m late, yeah, I got held up. I’ll talk to you about it later. But yeah, the camcondors are fine, we don’t need to worry about them.”

  Scent-Of-Rain, James, and Juan, all spoke in perfect unison. “We are worried about them.”

  ”Don’t be. Have we talked about the blueprints yet? Also sorry I’m late, again.”

  While it was hard to be mad at her friend, it was very easy for Mrs. Hess to be irate at someone who was as much of a problem for stable decision making as Ben was. Still, she gave a quick overview. “The copied blank blueprints require that a building be constructed quite literally from the ground up. Which conflicts with what we’ve been doing in Townton, restoring damaged structures.”

  ”What about using them to upgrade utilities?” James asked, getting them back on track. “Emily, you’re our water expert, are we still planning an overhaul of the sewer system?”

  ”Absolutely. It will just take two months, multiple hired contractors, hundreds of workers brought in, and fourteen million dollars. And that’s just for our restored section and groundwork for a single square mile around it, assuming we’re using existing road networks, and that doesn’t cover the rest of the original city. Especially not the residential streets.”

  James nodded. ”Ooooookay. Well. It’s gotta happen anyway. Can we apply the blueprints to that? If we’re putting together new wastewater and treatment facilities, why not give those the boost? The wizard blueprint is big enough that we could at least use them piecemeal, right? Or does that not work either?”

  ”No, it does.” Anesh confirmed. “And it’s not a bad idea. Heck, focus on ‘government buildings’ would be a good idea on its own, wouldn’t it? If we’re actually doing our jobs and serving the citizenry, obviously.”

  ”Magic post office!” Scent-Of-Rain sounded really excited about that. “I’ve been waiting for this!”

  James looked at the brightly dressed camraconda and took a quick breath. “How?” He asked.

  ”I am prepared for many contingencies.” She told him before actually saying something relevant to the discussion. “The issue is in the effect. The blueprints are not controllable. They grow magic from an unknown list of options.”

  ”Yeah, and that means we can’t rely on them for certain things.” Juan said with a frown. “Like, we can’t plan to build all our post offices without air conditioning, because there’s no damn way we won’t get one of the blueprints skipping that feature and letting everyone melt into puddles of flesh and maybe plastic.”

  ”Vivid mental image, thanks.” James said, but still nodded along. “Still a good idea to look into. Since we plan on having certain services be ubiquitous, it’s a good idea to have them be enhanced. I don’t know if the blueprints, especially the simple one we’ve got that I’m just sure is the lowest form, can reduce banking errors, but I’m eager to find out.”

  Mrs. Hess shook her head. “In theory I agree. In practice, especially with sewer systems, consistency is king. Upgrades that aren’t uniform aren’t upgrades, they’re problems for every other pumping station and treatment plant.” She paused. “Unless the magic handles that.” The woman admitted, like the words were a bitter pill to swallow.

  “Testing.” Scent-Of-Rain hissed. “Which is easier now. The money cost doesn’t really matter yet.” The opinion made at least two of the humans wince, but James grinned at her. “Or we could wait. Until it is too expensive. Until we don’t do it. Until we lose the chance.”

  The newest member of the Order in the room winced, but was able to let go of her automatic defensiveness. “I am… willing to try it.” She said. “If I won’t be blamed when fourteen million dollars has to be spent again.”

  ”Do we blame people for things?” Ben asked. “I’ve never been blamed for anything.”

  ”Not the time.” Juan muttered to him out of the corner of his mouth.

  Anesh, nominally the one heading this meeting, took that as an opportunity to come to a consensus. It didn’t take long for them to get everyone on the same page, agreeing to test out the blueprints in three different ways to see where they could best be put to use, and what role they could play as the Order’s team of specialists planned out the future of Townton as a city. “So with that lovely business out of the way.” He said. “And with the decision to continue expansion set, what else is left today?”

  ”Oh.” Juan looked up, the corner of his mouth turning downward. “Well, there’s the citizenship thing. Like we’re not actually recognized by the US, and neither are half the people in this room. But I hear Alanna’s on that and that’s not exactly what I mean. We’ve been getting a few of the new residents, mostly from our human refugee groups, who are confused on who is and isn’t ’in the Order’? If that makes sense?”

  ”Ah.” James nodded, seeing the problem right away. “This is about the magic stipend.”

  Juan nodded, adjusting his tablet so the glare from the sun outside stopped blinding him to the screen. ”Exactamundo. There’s a growing voice in the newcomers that they should have access to the same stuff the Order does.”

  ”I agree.” James said. “But there we actually do have a budget. We’re not saying people can’t join if they want, but we just do not have the resources to open up the stipend to everyone who immigrates to Townton.” He paused only for a split second as he brought up the availability chart in his skulljack. “That said - sorry Anesh this is my department I’m taking over the conversation - we do have some things now that we can open up? It’s tricky because we don’t have ‘visibility’ in a clean way like if this had a dollar value attached to it, but we do definitely have the option to have a civilian version of the stipend that can be spent on less limited magics.”

  ”You mean delves.” Anesh realized. “The Climb. Motoroic too?”

  Scent-Of-Rain hissed sharply. “Putting people at risk is a poor reward.” She said. “And it is a risk. Winter’s Climb more than many.” She looped her head around to look at James. “You forget many people are not you. Some of us are slower, or weaker, or have permanent damage. Delves are not accessible.”

  ”Yeah, you want to tell Indira she has the option of getting Climb spell slots?” Juan pointed out.

  James splayed his fingers out. “Hang on now. She does have that option. She has this whole time, she’s a member of the Order.” He ducked his head in a shallow nod as he continued. “But I’m not stupid, I know the dungeons aren’t exactly wheelchair accessible. We can put her through a delve, but it would have to be under heavy escort, and she’d be trusting the team with her literal life, more than most people. And granted, she also has other options, which is sort of the point. Limited Climb spell access and Pylon AP isn’t exactly a whole lot of choice. But that’s the thing, they’re almost free. And we keep using our replication ritual to make stuff that will massively improve quality of life in a broad way anyway, it’s just… ugh, this sucks. I’m trying really hard to make a world where everyone has magic, but we just straight up do not have the capacity for it right now.” James complained. “Not if we’re going to keep expanding and empowering the Order, which is important.”

  ”Why not just say that?” Juan asked.

  ”Say what, what I just said?” James inquired, wondering if it was professional to try to hide his head in his arms on the table.

  Scent-Of-Rain leaned forward, her head poking up from where she was coiled. “Say that explanation. To the people of Townton.” She hissed in amusement. “Many people are not foolish. We have limited options now, but as more become available, they will be opened up. And if we open those limited options, then that is a sign that we mean it.”

  ”Even if we still have to dodge Mormons to get people into the Pylons. And also if the main thing people would get would be breathing.” Ben chimed in.

  Mrs. Hess rapped her nails on the table. “Never underestimate how much some people will value breathing.” She chastised him. “After the pandemic? People might cash in very fast.”

  ”Actually another good point.” Anesh added as he thought about the arithmetic of the system. “People can just… bank their points. Just having them, even if it’s not that much, is still a sign that there’s a kind of universal basic arcanism thing going on. Don’t like the dungeons? That’s fine, wait until we find something else. Bloody hell, we make enough potions now that we could put those on offer too.”

  James hummed. “Okay. I’ll talk to the alchemy department about production numbers later. Can we assign someone to cooperate with the delver teams and work out the availability? I know Karen’s office can manage setting rates, but she’ll appreciate having hard data.”

  ”On it.” Anesh said. “Emily, when do you want to start the water and sewer overhaul?”

  The woman gave him an irate frown. ”…In two years after extensive surveys, budgetary planning, and a bid approval process from outside contractors. Not to mention security vetting for those same people.” She twisted a hand through a strand of her hair by her face. “But given what I know you’re about to say, and how the Order of Endless Rooms somehow manages to operate, I will give you a hopelessly optimistic answer of one month. Unless you have a spell, device, or life form that can grow a hydraulic network on demand.”

  James mentally compared the timeline for the relatively mundane civic utility against his deadline for the end times. And said nothing, just so he didn’t spread his grim thought.

  Anesh just nodded. “Sounds good. Juan, you’re on reporting duty for this meeting. Scent-Of-Rain, if you could take Ben and dangle him by his ankles over the edge of a building until he coughs up everything he knows about the camcondors, I’d appreciate it.”

  ”Hey!”

  ”I will make this happen, yes.”

  ”And… that’s our agenda for today.” Anesh finished. “Thanks to everyone for the hard work. Let’s go make the world better.”

  The words were becoming a traditional end to council meetings in the Order of Endless Rooms. Not just for Townton’s city council, but for other departments and projects as well. James had never been much for unexamined traditions, but he liked this one. Part let’s get out of here, and part declaration of intent.

  James liked that a lot. No matter how much time they had, they weren’t going to stop improving.

  He caught Anesh in a forceful hug before he left the room along with everyone else, his boyfriend laughing casually as he returned the gesture with a light kiss on James’ neck. And the future suddenly didn’t look so bleak. There was no material change, it wasn’t like the Order was suddenly winning everything and all their plans were perfectly falling into place. But James left the room feeling like he could handle anything.

  Which was good because he had a lot of anything to handle coming up.

  _____

  Sitting in the Lair’s restaurant, James was going through his favorite decompressing activity. Staring at lists of magic and arguing with himself about what he wanted.

  The restaurant was in full operation today. A dozen different people working in the kitchens and the green-orb-inflicted bakery that was upstairs from that kitchen, making food, taking orders from everyone hungry who walked through the door, the usual bustle of what could be a thriving business somewhere else. But here, it was just one of the things the Order took seriously; that everyone under their umbrella got to eat, no questions asked.

  And yet, the sound wasn’t overwhelming. There was an improvement in the acoustics, possibly multiple overlapping changes from different green orbs. Those precious loot drops from Officium Mundi’s puppet soldiers that were, still, one of the most potent force multipliers the Order had access to.

  Yeah, they could turn anyone who was friends with Sarah into a super soldier. Yeah, they could pour purple orbs down someone’s throat until they turned invincible. Yeah, there were a ton of utility spells that made even someone like James, who was not a good soldier, into a major threat when it came to a small-scale conflict. But all of that kind of fell away in the shadow of just how useful it was to have always-on magical boosts to a space.

  How much value, really, had they gotten out of the fact that travel to the Lair was easier? That metalworking and sewing and non-structural carpentry went faster there? That they had basements, which was foundational to the way they’d started to live? Or even just simply from the small boost that made anything produced there have more monetary value? An effect so annoying to measure that everyone just kind of stopped doing so, because the way it worked seemed incapable of causing any problems anyway, and everyone liked having slightly nicer everything.

  The restaurant around him was a great example. It had more tables than it should, but there always seemed to be an easy way for servers to bring food to them no matter how crowded it got. There were high windows that let winter sunlight in, despite the original rebuilding of the Lair having removed all windows from the outside of the first floor for security reasons. And everyone who ate here would end up feeling like their meal was a little bit fresher, a little bit healthier, than maybe it ‘should’ have been.

  James loved it. He also loved the art on the back wall. Originally, that wall had been blank, and then with the permission of the camracondas, they’d hung their three part carving depicting their history there. But that was actually a priceless historical artifact, so it had been moved somewhere a little safer, and replaced, instead, with something… cooperative. A similar format of tall etched wood, with each panel showing a part of the Order’s history. Stylized depictions of their origin, including the first conversation with a camraconda, the first time a ratroach joined them, the first discovery of a half dozen different dungeons with their own little iconography.

  He didn’t know who’d made it exactly, though he knew it was a group of people. There were clearly different hands at work on the collective piece. It wasn’t a masterpiece, exactly. It was just… very personal. It wasn’t just the Order’s history, it was his. His and all of theirs. And it didn’t matter if maybe a few people could have done better if they’d gotten some art skill orbs, James loved it. He loved it more knowing that one day it would be replaced, possibly with its own next iteration.

  ”You’re getting distracted, which is exactly what you told me to stop you from doing.” Zhu said, flicking a talon across James’ cheek.

  ”Fuck, oy!” James slapped the navigator away at the sudden jolt. “That hurt!” He laughed, wiping where Zhu had flicked him. “Ah, that hurt cause I’m bleeding.”

  Zhu’s glowing form tensed up around him, shimmers of orange light going shock still. “Oh no. I wasn’t… I’m sorry, I went too far.”

  ”Ah, it’s fine.” James pressed down on the small cut. Purple orbs and Endurance ranks already sealing the thin wound, in way that made him feel amusingly magical. “Let’s not let me get distracted again, I’ve only got so much skin. So. What’re you thinking?”

  ”No, no demuring! Get a bandaid!” Zhu snapped at him.

  James brushed a hand across Zhu’s form, seemingly comforting, but actually impishly wiping his blood on his friend’s feathers. The revving squawk from that action reassured him a lot more than any words did. “I’m good, look. So. I get to be a guinea pig for someone reading a Garden spellbook with two open links at once. We know what one of them does at least. Probably. What do you think works best?”

  ”I think you should take the new one that makes a spoon.” Zhu suggested with a twist of his form. “Just because I want to know.”

  ”Funny as that would be, no.” James snorted at his friend. “We’re on deck to go to Canada soon. Gotta be ready, right? Come on, you’ll love it, it’s a road trip.”

  ”It’s not.” Zhu grumbled. “It’s teleporting, which is cheating.”

  James blinked in confusion, before making a noise of understanding. “Ah, you were off hanging out with Speaky. Right, we can’t just teleport in. Spire ran into this a little bit, people notice when teleports happen. Or… I mean, maybe they noticed that she was a big ol’ snake, but she was invisible when she arrived so I doubt it. Anyway, we’re driving in.”

  ”Oooooooh!” Zhu’s voice shot up in pitch as he let himself hum with excitement. “An actual road trip?!”

  ”A trip on the road, technically, yes.” James conceded. “But it’s for work purposes, so I dunno if it’ll be-“

  ”I’ll take it!” Zhu declared. “Get a weapon spell.”

  James smiled to himself as he looked back at the binder full fo spell information, on loan from the vault ‘library’. ”I mean, Copper Craft is okay. But I’m not really a knife guy, and-“

  ”No, sorry, I mean go ask Lincon for his sword book.” Zhu clarified. “Or I’ll do it! Or you can have Arrush do it. I think Lincon has a crush on him.”

  There was a lot to unpack in that series of statements. “First off, no. I promised them I wouldn’t pressure them on sharing their magic. And even if he does, which I seriously doubt because Alanna would be poking fun at us both for it if it were true, so I suspect you made that up, then it would still be the same issue.”

  ”Fine I made that up. But I didn’t promise. Also they shared Wrought Leaf Migration! The dumbest name so far!” Zhu’s hand deftly flipped the page to the description of the spell that let you stretch your arms to increasingly worrying lengths. A spell that didn’t work on camracondas at all, sadly; James had been hoping to see one of them tail whip an entire room at once. It also, in his opinion, wasn’t even in the top three for dumb names. “I can just go ask. And you could have a sword.”

  ”I’ll borrow Arrush’s sword.” James said. “Look, I’m gonna say something dumb, but go with me on this journey.”

  ”I’m obligated to do so.”

  ”…Smoke Salt.” James pointed at the spell that was kind of a party trick. It stuck a shadow to a different object, even a mobile one like a person. Very weird form of light manipulation, technically. “Joy and Tylor say the things that are running their hometown are shadow monsters. And while I’m not prepared to bank everything on this…”

  ”It’s not a bad plan, but it’s so specific.” Zhu’s feathers flattened in thought, his growing form covering James halfway down his back in an orange wreath. “What about the next one?” His voice was a whisper to James alone.

  The chatter of the restaurant fell away. The Responders on lunch breaks, the Researchers having lunch and arguing about results, the people who lived here just meeting friends or linking up with groups for jobs or activities. Not many kids right now, most of them were in school; either the mundane schools around the area for some of the humans, or the Order’s own attempt at public education for the rest.

  All of it went quiet to James’ ears.

  What about the next one.

  He knew Zhu wasn’t trying to rile him up or send his thoughts to a dark place. It was, honestly, a valid tactical question. And here, now, surrounded by the product of a lot of work and effort to make a place that wasn’t shit to live in, James felt like he could approach it that way.

  He took a breath, and the volume of the room washed back over him; a comforting blanket of a community he’d had a hand in. “Good point.” He said. “Appointed Arrival then maybe? Flexible, good for any situation, does what Move Person does and I already know I like that one.”

  ”Yeah but you do like that one. You basically never switch to blue orbs that aren’t Move Person or Manipulate Asphalt.”

  ”I like being a road wizard.”

  ”Mood. What about… I dunno, Island Valiant?”

  James shook his head. “It spikes in level way too fast, and have you read the notes on it? ‘Understand the local area’ my ass. It’s an electron microscope with less control.”

  ”I don’t remember this, was I hanging out with Speaky that day too?” Zhu asked.

  James nodded back, turning a page in the binder even though he’d memorized the whole thing. “Him and Hidden, yeah. You have a more active social life than I do.”

  ”Oh shove it.” Zhu’s eyes rolled along his shoulder and arm. “Okay, okay. Hear me out…”

  ”I can’t fuck one of the spells.”

  The smoothness of the interjection was enough to disarm even Zhu, who was inside James’ head. ”…hear me out, non-meme version. What if… nothing?”

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  That was an idea. “Nothing, as in, wait until we get a better spellbook?”

  ”Exactly. Because the more we look at the list of the same fifteen spells over and over again, the more I’m thinking we don’t need them right now.” Zhu fluttered, sharp feathers making an almost buzzing sigh as his created form shifted. “Both of us do have Move Person, and that does a more effective job than the best option. You still have an Imp Ward prepared, we don’t care about Bell-“

  ”I actively un-care about Bell.”

  ”-so why not just wait? The test will still work later, and you don’t need to keep up the tradition of having the worst first option.” Zhu reminded him.

  James had a hard time arguing with that one. He wanted to, though, at least to give a token effort to the other side. “You know, there’s still so much we don’t know about… every dungeon.” He spoke quietly. “Not just what they are or where they come from. I mean just about their magic, there’s so much.” He found himself smiling, thinking about the depths left to discover. “You know what I’m just realizing about the Pylons as we talk here? I was thinking about how it takes a lot of AP to open up a link, which means people who know are incentivized to keep leaving the dungeon. It’s doing the same thing that a bunch of the rest of them are! It’s made a convincing reason for delvers to get the fuck out! How cool is that?”

  ”Okay that’s clever.” Zhu admitted. “And yeah! We don’t even know everything about the Sewer, and it’s so basic!”

  ”Exactly.” James sighed. “And, you know. Part of me wants to say that I should be jumping at the opportunity to try this new thing out, and see if it does something different. A lot of me wishes that my life was just this one dungeon and no problems, seeing how far we could push the spells. What do you think we could do if we used all of our brilliant human medical technology to put someone on life support while they studied the spell audiobook? How far could we go? What could a person do with support and time and determination? I want to know so badly what our upper limit is.”

  “We don’t even know what happens if we max out the towel spell.” Zhu threw in his own two cents. “Or if it can be maxed out. If that’s even a thing!” He paused. “Should we do that?”

  ”We could… cancel all our important stuff today…” James was kinda into this idea. “Someone might get annoyed.”

  ”I’ll chart us an escape route! Planner’s still on vacation, we can pull this off.”

  James hummed. “Well Alanna might find us.”

  ”Fuck, nevermind. That is a funny idea though.” Zhu gave a shifting laugh. “But that’s not an answer.”

  ”You’re right.” James said, answering two things at once. “I… will wait. Because our lives aren’t one dungeon and infinite time. But we need to get delver rotations into Verdigris Venture yesterday. Maybe we should look into expanding recruiting. Again.”

  Recruiting was always hard. Not because they lacked people to bring in; honestly, James could find random people on the internet that had a good groundwork to be part of the Order with minimal effort. The problem was that when they needed people to be delvers, who were combatants no matter how much the Order pushed for nonviolent resolutions to delve encounters where possible, then they were accepting a massive risk. Everyone he brought on that went into a dungeon might get hurt. Might die. And that was hard for James to handle, especially when they didn’t exactly have the replication space to turn every one of them into a superhero.

  They still kept recruiting, but they really needed to look at taking another step in terms of scale. Before it was too late, especially.

  “Everything alright?” A woman’s voice drew both James and Zhu’s multiple eyes upward. Jeanne, Ava’s mother, was standing by their table. The caramel skinned woman wasn’t dressed like she was on the clock here today, which meant she’d woven her way through quite a lot of restaurant to end up by where James was sitting in the back corner.

  Which meant, James figured with a small smirk, that she was asking if he was okay even though she had probably sought him out for her own reason. “I’m doing fine, just struggling with personnel numbers. How’ve things been? We haven’t really talked much since…” he tried to think when the last time he had spoken to her had been. After Ava and Hidden had snuck into the Officium Mundi delve, and James had felt like he needed to remind Jeanne that she probably shouldn’t ground the kids for a whole decade. “Since a while back.” He finished with a sigh.

  ”You’re struggling with dates too, sounds like.” Her lilting voice didn’t hold much actual humor, but James appreciated the effort. “Do you have a minute?” He motioned to the other side of the table with his non-navigator-plated arm, and she took a seat in the padded chair. “I talked to someone from Recovery today.”

  ”Oh?” James asked.

  ”Hey, uh…” Zhu cut in. “This sounds a little personal, and if we’re done planning, I’m gonna go explore.” The navigator said bluntly. “Good to see you again!” He happily told Jeanne before his body flowed into a tightly luminescent arrow of light that darted down and then along the floor, a snake of right angles and afterimages.

  ”Tactful.” James muttered. “Anyway, what’s up? How’re things going? Are you thinking of moving back to the east coast?”

  Jeanne looked at him like she wasn’t certain if he was fucking with her. “Did you know?” She asked.

  ”Know… that you had family out there?”

  ”Know that the world was ending.” Her voice was a harsh crack of words.

  James stilled, breathing slowly as he flipped his notebook closed. The smell of fresh bread and soup in the afternoon air doing nothing to help the roller coaster of his mood today. “Yeah.” He told her. “It’s not a secret, we’ve known about this since the paladin ceremony.”

  ”That long and you didn’t tell anyone?” She demanded.

  Now that was hardly fair. “I’ve told a lot of people.” James said. “Every knight and paladin knows. Response knows. Hell, it’s not a secret, I bet a bunch of people know!” He shot back defensively. “And clearly you know, because someone told you! I mean, I know it’s not something we advertised or put on the news, but it’s not… it’s not a secret.” He slumped in his chair. “You’re just finding out.” He sighed with sympathy.

  Jeanne didn’t exactly glare at him, but she did have a special look in her eye that she reserved for when James followed bad news in her life. He never caused the bad news, and she knew it, which made it annoying hard to be angry at him. But she still had a look for it. “We do have family there. Ava’s nana is out in Virginia. I have cousins.”

  ”You want to move them to Townton?” James asked.

  ”They have lives!” Jeanne exclaimed. “You can’t just move everyone to Townton! And if the world ends, last I checked, Townton is part of the world!”

  Rubbing his forehead, James shook his head. “We don’t even know what’s coming. Or if we can stop it. And I don’t mean that pessimistically, I mean, we might be able to stop it. I’m not giving up on anything, ever. And, like, why are you looking into moving anyway? Is Ava not doing okay? Are you not doing okay?”

  Jeanne had long since put to rest the thought that she was some kind of charity case to the Order, but it still felt a little strange to have someone that was closer to a stranger than a friend look at her like her problems were objectives. “Ava’s doing great.” She admitted, unable to hide a smile. “Loves her weird school, won’t stop making friends. She wants to be a pilot now when she grows up.”

  ”That’s a hard swerve.” James laughed.

  ”Yeah. And she’s the ringleader for half the younger crocs and rats in the building. I’m… proud of her.” Jeanne settled on. “I don’t think she’d want to move anyway. I was just looking at having a place out east that we could spend a month or two at every year. Not a permanent thing.”

  James nodded. “I get that. I mean, I understand that is a thing that normal people want.” He didn’t actually feel the same kind of familial attachment, but he did know that it was different for many humans. “So… did… that get worked out with Recovery? Because you’re talking to me about the end of civilization and I don’t know if you got your vacation apartment.”

  ”You are impossible.” She accused him. “How are we supposed to focus on visiting family or going to middle school when everything is crashing down around us?!”

  ”Jeanne, people have been doing that since the dawn of human history. There are active wars right now, and kids going to school. We’re all… we’re all working without a safety net.” He couldn’t keep the twisted pitying frown off his face. “All I can do is promise you that we’re working on it. And if I can, give you and your daughter the tools to make it through everything.”

  Jeanne stared at him, looking for any crack in the sincerity of his statement. A thing that she’d never find; James’ perfect and aggravating defense against being caught in lies working flawlessly. The paladin didn’t lie. He was emotionally open all the time, and it made it impossible and also a waste of time to try catching him in a deception. “I’m going to need to be stronger for her.” She said eventually.

  ”You’re already a part of the Order.” James reminded her. “Our strength is your strength. That’s what we’re here for.”

  ”I don’t think doing paperwork and data entry for Karen and Cathy is going to let me keep my daughter alive if everything burns down.” Jeanne said. “I want… I need something more.” Her voice, filled with sudden determination, cracked, but held.

  James wondered sometimes if the universe played jokes on him specifically. “You want to be a delver.” He said sadly. And then, not letting the words lie there, continued quickly. “You’re going to need preliminary training and a slot on a team. Probably start you out with the Office and Library. You know it’s dangerous?”

  ”I lived in Memphis.” Jeanne said. “I can handle dangerous. Just because you want everyone soft doesn’t mean we all started out that way.”

  That was fair. He remembered when they’d met for the first time; a woman who had walked miles down a dark and rough road in her socks, afraid, but still ready to fight if the weirdos that had stopped to give her a ride threatened her daughter. “Okay.” James said. “Talk to… well, you don’t need to talk to anyone. Just put yourself into the rotation for delver training, and we’ll work on getting you where you need to be.”

  ”What about my other job?” Jeanne asked. “Oh, I’ll have to tell Karen…”

  ”She already knows. She also runs our training program, and now that I say that, I realize we need to give that woman a fucking vacation.” He sighed. “Delving is not a full time thing. Keep up with what you feel like you can, and we’ll bring in new people to cover the gaps. That whole office has been asking for more staff anyway, and I am ideologically opposed to running operations with too few hands. So I’ll handle it.” He smiled at her sadly. “And if at any point, you want to back out, I mean… it’s just like any other job here. Nothing is permanent.”

  ”Oh, so are the end times gonna back down too, if we ask nicely?” Jeanne’s voice bit into the air.

  ”…probably not.” James admitted. “Though I’ll probably try that too.”

  And she knew, knew, that he was being serious. Which was a little scary in its own way. James, to her, was just a pleasant guy who had saved her and Ava’s lives. He was a little weird, but nothing like the near-myth that some people talked about him as. But there were moments like this where Jeanne could see a hint of what was underneath the dumb jokes and soft shell.

  And she was, despite all her doubts and reservations and feelings of personal inadequacy, very glad that she and Ava lived at the Lair.

  ”Thank you.” She told James honestly.

  ”Oh, you’ll stop thanking me when you learn how much jogging this involves!” He said happily. And the dangerous underside was covered up again.

  James waited for a while for Zhu to return after Jeanne left. He spoke a bit to a few other delvers and a response medical team, just making small talk, discussing magic a little bit. He got another order of onion rings when he realized he hadn’t really eaten enough for his biology to make use of, somehow. And he started flipping through a different binder full of spells that he’d brought with him, wondering when he’d have a chance to learn if Climb spells could be bound to the twin dungeon links.

  Zhu came back covered in green paint, somehow, before saying he had somewhere important to be and flitting off again, leaving James on his own for a while. And James wished he had more time to ask questions. But he didn’t want to be late again, and he refused to play Zhu’s game of endless deflections.

  _____

  The place where James teleported to meet with Kiki was currently pouring rain, freezing, and with a sky like a roiling black cauldron where he could see it through the towering trunks of the forest.

  Well, the outside was. The cabin was nice, smelled like cloves and cinnamon, and had a soothing blaze going in the fireplace. James just had to sprint about a thousand feet from where he teleported in to get there, and by then he was miserably soggy.

  ”I don’t suppose you could-“

  ”If I don’t fix broken bones, you think you can bully this old lady into doing your laundry?” Kiki asked from where she was sitting with her feet kicked up on the ancient varnished coffee table, a book in one hand, a mug of tea in the other, and thin framed glasses she absolutely did not need perched on her nose.

  James made a best effort to dry himself off before removing his shoes and going over to grab the roughly upholstered chair opposite her. Or… it had been roughly upholstered. “Can I bully you into upgrading my couch?” He asked as he sank into the comfortable seat.

  ”No. But your dog might.” Kiki conceded, setting her book down.

  The two of them were the only ones in the cabin right now. She’d been more or less living here, taking visits and letting Research continue to ask a million questions and run tests, but only leaving to try to make contact with Clutter Ascent.

  It was a weird feeling. Probably to everyone, but to James personally. He was used to a pattern where the terrifyingly powerful people he recruited tended to become more social, not less.

  ”Kiddo, my social life is none of your business, but if it was, and we were competing, I’d be winning.” She spoke out loud, lips just barely touching her mug.

  ”Touche.” James conceded, at this point long since used to the way Kiki seemed capable of reading thoughts or emotions around her. It wasn’t really that weird, it was kind of just a bigger version of what Alanna did, and Alanna didn’t scare him. “Well, I’m here to check in, and drop off some goodies.” He motioned with a thumb toward the backpack he’d brought with him. Supplies for her life here, food she didn’t really need, books she maybe did, a few extra little things.

  Kiki smiled sadly as she leaned forward, bones that had seen over a century of life popping as she set her mug down on the table, heedless of adding another ring to its storied record. “And to ask some questions.” She said. It wasn’t, itself, a question.

  ”How’re you doing?” James asked seriously.

  ”Better.” Kiki said, her smile slipping, the sensation of compassion in the air… not fading, but compressing. A conscious effort on her part as she took control of her magic. “Your precious pack of nerds can tell you more than I can,” James knew that wasn’t true, they were trying to take something mystic and put numbers on it, “but it’s been easier. Ever since.”

  Since she started talking to Clutter Ascent, she meant.

  Every word was draining for her. Every conversation was a marathon. And James had the impression, despite no evidence he could explain, that Kiki still felt like she was facing down a fate worse than death every time she brushed up against the dungeon.

  But that drain was what’d become the point for the pillar-like woman. If she ran out of the vital force of nature that made up what she’d become, then she was no longer bound by it. No more feeling called to random parts of the world. No more interceding in wars, or showing up in the background of wedding photos, or assassinating targets of opportunity. No more having her appearance tugged into the form of other people she knew but didn’t recognize. No more leaking, no more loss of control.

  Well.

  Less.

  Not none, but less.

  And the line of communication was the singular most important thing going on in the Order right now. Not the new dungeons, not the battleground city, not the grind of daily life. The thing people whispered about and sat excited to learn more about was what Clutter Ascent had to say to them. Almost everyone, at some point, had passed through the Attic dungeon at least once. And while she didn’t give them power the way some other dungeons did, what she gave them was far more important in a lot of people’s opinions.

  A friend. An ally. A new life, rising like a blazing star.

  And now she could tell them things. She could tell them about the compulsions to make dangerous things, though she didn’t think of them as dangerous. She could tell them that people made her feel better when they came in, and when they left, but most of all when they did notable things or solved her puzzles. She could tell them that she was trying to make more books, but that it made her sleepy, like she didn’t have enough of something to work with.

  Things they’d suspected about dungeons, confirmed or at least supported. Though Clutter’s status was unique, and her behavior different to the point that she might not be a good place to base all their information on. It was still something that everyone in the Order knew withing minutes of learning that the Attic dungeon recognized them as individuals and cared about them as the same.

  Sadly, that wasn’t what James was here to talk about.

  “I have a question.” James said, trying to keep any kind of pity out of his voice. Kiki just gave him a flinty stare in response, reading him easier than the spy thriller she’d set aside. “This, what you’re doing now. You’re in control, aren’t you?”

  The woman who secretly hoped she was still human curled her mouth up in a wry grin. “Well.” She spoke like the word like she was opening a gate that she had been holding closed for a long time. “I’ve got the saddle on and it’s going the right direction.” She said.

  James took a brief moment to poke fun at her. “There is no way you were a horse girl. I’ve heard your life story, don’t make cowboy metaphors at me.”

  ”Horse girl means something different these days.” Kiki said, the words leaving James choking on whatever he’d been about to say. “Or so I am told. Nah, kiddo, nah. I’m not really in control. But it’s better. I’m better. I’ve got time to do some baking, watch the birds, take a nap, and nothing calls me to heel. That’s a big step up. And I can rein it in a little bit. Maybe you could say I’m learning how.”

  “I have a theory I want to run by you.” James said, swiping wet hair off the back of his neck and wishing he’d teleported to the porch.

  Kiki shrugged bony shoulders. “I’m not a scientist, but I’ll listen.”

  ”I’ve been wondering,” James said slowly, “and I’m sorry to bring this up, but what exactly do you think would have happened if things kept going the way they were for you?”

  She had the answer all too quickly. “It’s easy enough to see now.” The non-pillar said with a casual and comforting shrug, her aura slipping her grasp as she lost focus. “I was going to turn into the magic, wasn’t I? Doing whatever was closest that fit my… my mood board. A scrap book person strong enough to pick up a tank.”

  ”…No shit?” James hadn’t heard that part of her power, though he believed it. “No, not the point here. So here’s the thing. The others, with powers like yours, who feel the same way you do? I think they’re farther down the path. But now, you, you have a completely new thing going on. You’re losing most of your magic to a dungeon. But not all of it. And what’s left lets you… well…” James motioned around them, to where the tangible feeling in the air was being swirled tighter back into Kiki’s body.

  She caught on fast. “I’m not dunked in the deep end.” She said. “And, what? You think I’ll be able to learn to swim?”

  ”God I love talking to someone who uses more metaphors than I do.” James muttered. “But yes. And, and I know this sounds crazy, I want you to try.”

  ”You think I’m not?” Kiki’s words came out sharper than anything James had ever heard from the compulsively kind woman, which was actually a great sign for her continued ability growth. “You think I want this?”

  James licked his lips, suddenly feeling like he was in the same room as a very, very dangerous animal. It was easy to forget sometimes, especially for him who lived around people like Cam or Arrush or Alanna, but pillars were nightmare inducing in just how small they could make you feel. “I think” he forced the words out despite feeling like he was being too mean and he needed to silence himself “that you wanted to die.”

  The pressure vanished. Kiki snapped back like she’d been slapped, and an instant later she moved like she was grabbing something, tugging on the air and pulling with a motion that took the drowning fear James was feeling and tucked it away into one of the jars that the scented candles she’d gotten had been in.

  “Oh God. I’m sorry.” Was all she said, voice strained.

  ”It’s cool, I’m-“

  ”No it isn’t.” Kiki snapped. “It’s not cool, it’s not okay. I’m getting hosed from both sides kiddo! It’s been so long since I was in charge of my own feelings I can’t handle anything! And if I don’t handle anything, I lose control, and we’re back where we started!”

  James sagged in the luxuriously comfortable chair, which might actually have gotten nicer since his arrival. “I feel like you and the inhabitors could learn a lot about that together.” He commented. “But I’m serious when I say, you can keep getting better. You’re already getting better. And maybe one day you won’t need Clutter to keep you metaphysically pinned down in a cabin in the mountains.” He sighed deeply. “You know your friends care about you, and keep asking if you’re doing alright?”

  ”They only care because I-“

  ”No they do not.” It was James’ turn to snap at her. “And you damn well know it, because you know. Yeah, you changed them. Yeah, your magic marked them. So what? They’re still your friends.” He stared down the impossibly powerful old woman, the world’s most dangerous grandmother, who flinched away from his gaze. “At least write to them. That’s something old people do, right? You could be pen pals.”

  Kiki’s abrupt burst of laughter sounded like a bird trying to escape. “You’re something else.” She told James.

  ”I like to think I’m exactly what I am.” He replied.

  The air hung heavy as the two of them sat without speaking for a while. Just the crackle of the fireplace, and the hammering of rain outside to punctuate the stillness. A sensation of a looming eclipse hovering overhead but not descending low enough.

  James fidgeted, uncomfortable sitting still too long and wondering if he was going to be late to things that didn’t have scheduled times. And eventually Kiki decided she’d had enough of tormenting him, though the fact that she even could mess with him was a bit of a balm for her own scars.

  ”Fine.” She relented. “I’ll try.”

  ”Thank you.” James’ words were honest and relieved.

  ”Any other miracles you want to pull out of me today?” She asked, before snapping her fingers. “Oh, I’ve got a box of charms for you to take back. Tell mister Moshofsky that ‘sufficiently sharpened sticks’ work fine enough, even if there's a novel worth of conditions there.” Her parroting of Reed’s voice was amusing to James, partly because it was very spot on, no matter which body Reed was wearing.

  James nodded appreciatively. Kiki’s charms were miracles themselves, and if the only thing she ever did was to gift a handful to them to the Order, she’d be a hero a hundred times over. Reforming metal ovals, not etched because they were formed with the shapes and patterns they had in them. Technically, each of them was someone’s weapon. Changed, held in a new form, as a magical tool that could stop any single attack before it ‘broke’ and needed time to heal. And she had given them a lot of them. Because the Order had a lot of confiscated weapons that they needed turned into something more useful than guns.

  But they weren’t the miracle he needed.

  ”Just so you know.” James said as he stood up and stretched, preparing himself to telepad back to the Lair. “What I’m going to ask you to use that control on? It’s going to be other pillars.” He met her eyes, trying to share the confidence he had that there was a path forward. “I think they need help. I think they might be the end of the world. Or an end of the world. And I think, just going off of what we’ve learned about them so far, that none of them want that. So I’m hoping you can help us find them their own dungeons. Or… if we need to…”

  ”Find them dungeons that they’ll fit in.” Kiki finished for him. “Permanently.”

  ”Well they do seem to be allergic.” James tried to joke, but it fell flat, and he grimaced. “I’m sorry. I’ll never not be sorry for asking. But it’s us, or everyone, and I think you’re enough like me that I know what your choice is.”

  Kiki flapped a hand at him, picking up her book again. “And you’re right enough, I just don’t like it. You’re too smart for a kid your age.”

  ”It’s all the internet.” James admitted with a sad nod. “Oh, there’s the baking powder you wanted in the bag. Can… can I try some of the cookies this time?”

  ”Don’t want to contaminate people with-“

  Now James got to finish her sentence. ”-with the pillar magic, yeah, yeah, I know.” He got his telepad out, flipping to a prewritten page for the Lair. “The raccoons get to get contaminated with pillar magic.” He grumbled as he left Kiki to her book and tea, a genuine smile on the old woman’s face.

  _____

  “Hey Aubs.” James said as he appeared into his apartment, greeting the dog on the couch who was currently watching what looked like La Jetée on their tv. “Homework?”

  ”Hello!” The furry white beast’s voice was projected through her authority, a ringing and slightly metallic vibration coming from the soft green collar she was ‘wearing’. James was still getting used to her speaking at all, but it had been a couple days since he’d learned about this, and it was becoming normal to him pretty quickly; which was a James specialty, really. “Yes. Comparative film analysis. Need editing help later for essay!”

  He grinned as he circled into their kitchen to get some water. “Yeah, I can do that if you want. I’m not leaving again for another couple days. Don’t you have the end of your term coming up though?”

  ”Later!” She said, accompanying a bark. Auberdeen’s orb-assisted uplifting had given her a command of language that was beyond realistic for a dog, as well as pushed her understanding of things like fiction and metaphor to higher than some humans. It had made her curious, or maybe just amplified curiosity that was already there. But it also didn’t fill every gap. Auberdeen wasn’t a human, or ‘human level intelligence’. She was a dog who had been gifted a strange foundation for thinking in new was, and there were times, like when it came to asking about calendar dates, where it really showed. “Much later!” She added.

  Much later was ‘next month’, usually. James should check with her assistant, the college having helpfully provided someone that gave her a hand with the details. And now that she could dictate essays to a speech-to-text program, James or Anesh could give her some help too in smoothing out her editing.

  It was cool, it was kind of a responsibility but it felt like a very light one. And James did consider Auberdeen his responsibility in general, since even she didn’t know exactly if she’d been created from nothing by an orb effect.

  “Well, let me know when you need a hand.” James winced, hoping that wasn’t insensitive, but Auberdeen literally did not notice or care. Her command of language didn’t actually give her introspection into a lot of default word choice. “Oh, hey, is anyone else here right now?” He asked. “I’m looking for Anesh and Alanna.”

  ”Your room!” Auberdeen told him, before shoving herself into a sitting pose on the edge of the couch and shoving her head forward onto the table so her authority could reach out a thin tendril and punch the remote button to rewind the short film she was watching. “Busy!” She added.

  James smiled at the blunt dismissal, and added his cup to the pile in their sink that he really needed to get to later, before silently heading back around the counter and down the single hallway his apartment had.

  He’d been busy lately. And it showed in the small ways his home was a little neglected. James also needed to vacuum the floor, a tiny mundane task that he actually did much more regularly at the Lair, but had sort of pushed away in his own place. Part of that being busy was that he was prioritizing time with his partners and friends over chores, but he really didn’t want to go back to his college days of living in a place that was always a mess.

  ”The eternal struggle.” He monologued to himself as he headed for his shared bedroom. “It turns out responsible adults have to do things.”

  ”Who knew?” Sarah said, leaning in her bedroom door with her arms crossed and a bright smile on her lips. “Is this about the dishes? Cause I cooked fish earlier, and I’ll take care of the pan!” She promised.

  James took in the entirely mundane words, the simple little ritual of roommates discussing a normal kitchen task, and he felt it soothe his worries like it was the water of life. Just let himself, for a tiny moment, be a normal person with a normal concern, nothing more complex or dangerous than a dirty piece of cookware.

  Something he’d told Jeanne came back to his mind, that humans had lived through disasters and cataclysms before. That they’d continue to do so. And he smiled as he thought that no matter how bad things got, people still needed to do the dishes, or some other equivalent chore.

  ”You know what we need?” He asked Sarah.

  ”A spell for doing dishes?” She asked, pure hope and optimism shining off her strong enough to put Kiki to shame.

  James nodded stoically. “A spell for doing dishes.” He agreed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  ”Appreciate it!” Sarah pointed across the hall to his bedroom door. “Also your boyfriend and our girlfriend told me to distract you while they ‘finish something up’. Alanna heavily implied it was sex, which is how I know she was lying to me, so if you want to walk in and catch them being idiots, now’s the time.”

  ”This is why you’re my favorite friend.” James raised a hand, getting a silent high five from her as they shared smiles like lightning before he turned and strode confidently into his bedroom.

  The door swung open smoothly, revealing Anesh and Alanna standing in between the two personal desks that were wedged in the corner against the bed, both of them with hands extended in front of them twisted into specific shapes. James walked in just in time to see their hands come down into flattened palms.

  ”Rock.” Alanna said.

  ”Scissor- ah blast it.” Anesh groaned.

  “Do I even want to know?” James asked coyly.

  ”You’ll find out!” Alanna promised.

  James gave the pair of them a mock glare. “Well now I’m just concerned.” He stated. “Wait, is this about a delve or something?”

  Anesh, adorably incapable of keeping a secret, fidgeted and tried to shuffle back to escape, but found himself trapped by the close quarters of their room. “Okay, okay, fine!” He relented after almost no pressure whatsoever. “We’re deciding who goes with you.”

  ”Wh- no!” James protested. “Neither of you! I’ll be fine! I’m not going to start a fight, I’m just scoping things out again! And look how well that worked out last time!”

  ”James last time I had to come rescue you from a blizzard.” Alanna told him.

  ”No you did not!” James insisted, circling around them to grab the shield bracers he’d left charging in his dresser, the main reason he’d come back here in the first place. “I was doing fine, and everything came together fine, and talking worked. And I’m gonna make it work again!” He declared. “Zhu’s with me, it’ll be okay.”

  Alanna nodded, throwing herself back onto the mess of blankets that was their bed, bits of fur puffing up around her in a cloud from Arrush, Keeka, and Auberdeen, another sign that James really needed to vacuum. “Yeah, see? Backup makes you feel safer. So, logically, you’ll do better with more backup. Which is why I get the last slot.”

  ”Hold up.” James clapped his fingertips together. “The last?”

  ”Yeah, well, Joy and Tylor are going with you, obviously. And Spire. So there’s one more seat in the car.” Alanna stretched her arms over her head and was rewarded by getting loose fur in her mouth. “I mean we could add more cars?” She offered, picking strands of fur off her lips. “But that seems stupid.”

  Anesh sat on the end of the bed and puffed a breath at the air in front of his face, shoving away the dancing motes of dust and dander. “Especially since we can teleport. Everyone who will be your backup will be on standby here anyway.” He reached up and grabbed James’ hand, pulling his boyfriend closer.

  ”That’s not how things are supposed to go.” James laughed, working on making the situation feel lighter. “I’m a paladin, my job is to fling myself into trouble.”

  ”Yeah. But no one said you had to do it alone.” Alanna told him. “Man come on, I’m bulletproof-“ Anesh twisted to glare at her, and James did the same from over his head, and Alanna corrected rapidly, “-bullet resistant. The shield teams are trained-ish. Sarah’s avatar choir is getting good at moving stats around.” She rolled onto her side, curling around where Anesh was sitting. “You know what you did, you dumbass?”

  James looked down at Anesh, the two of them sharing a confused look as they tried to sort out who was the dumbass. Pointing at himself and raising his eyebrows, James just got a shrug back from his partner. “I… got superpowers?” He ventured.

  ”You built a team.” Alanna told him. “A whole-ass chivalric order, even!”

  ”Well hang on-“

  She punched him in the leg. “Literally every fucking thing we do, and everything you say, is about the strength of community! And then when it’s time to focus that strength, you flinch, because you think you don’t matter! Stop it!” His girlfriend commanded him. “You’re getting backup, because throwing cannon fodder at problems is less useful than actually solving problems!”

  ”…Okay, that’s… fair.” James conceded. “I still think I can talk my way out of this.”

  ”I bet you can too sparky. But if that goes wrong, I’ll be there.” Alanna told him.

  Anesh leaned into James, pressing his cheek against his boyfriend’s stomach. “And I, because I lost a game, will be here. Doing laundry.”

  ”Oh my god, thank you I love you.” James practically sobbed in relief as he wrapped himself around this Anesh in a crushing hug. “Both of you.” He added. “Have I said that lately? Just how lucky I am to have both of you in my life?”

  “Mmphnmpm!” Anesh answered.

  ”You say that about twice a day.” Alanna pointed out. “On average. I’m counting the times we plug our brains together too. Because that’s saying it with extra steps. Or less steps?” She rolled back, eyes curiously searching the ceiling like she was scrying the popcorn spackle for answers. “Anyway. I’m ready to go whenever.”

  James let Anesh go, his boyfriend gasping in air. “Cool. You’ve got two days at least.” He laughed. “I’m gonna be trying to not get hurt until then. And maybe spending some time hanging out with Arrush, since he’s not coming. I know he and Keeka want to go back to Townton for a while. And I really want to make sure Plan’s doing okay before he comes back. Got a few general conversation appointments too. Also gotta say hi to Banana! Oh, and…” he trailed off as Anesh struggled to tug him down to the bed. “…what are you doing?” James asked playfully.

  ”Strangling you so you can stop thinking that working nonstop is the same thing as taking it easy.” Anesh said as Alanna handed him the well loved stuffed dragon sitting at the top of the bed so that he could crush James’ face with it. “Let me know when it starts working.”

  ”Mmhpmp!” Was James’ struggled reply.

  Alanna nodded appreciatively, her free hand petting Anesh on his back. “Good.” She told her boyfriend happily. “It’s working!”

  Eventually they did let James up. Eventually, even Alanna had to admit that she was on a Response shift that evening, though she was taking time off from the voluntary position after that. Eventually Anesh and Keeka showed up at the apartment, and a few people in their weird family went to dinner together to confuse the heck out of the staff at a new restaurant.

  Eventually, the world turned, no matter how much James wanted to trap this moment in amber.

  But the moment still happened. And the eventualities weren’t that bad either.

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