LYSSANDRA

  ‘’Ow, ow ow’’I grunted as two nymphs were trying to brush my hair.

  ‘’You have souls in your locks’’One of them mumbled.

  ‘’And manure’’The other one gagged, and they pushed my entire face back into the bath. How did I endup back in this cold room that I was in for a thousand years? But surprisingly, it did not feel as horrid as I was expecting. Not when I had people helping me dress up and bathe. Even with all of their violence.

  ‘’Is it true that you travelled Tartarus?’’The nymph with cherry flowers asked me with a smile.

  I was about to speak, but the rose nymph began hurting me on my toenails.

  ‘’You have maggots’’She muttered and ate one of them.

  ‘’I did travel’’I finally grunted.

  ‘’How brave’’The cherry gasped and tried to smile as she seemed now too afraid of washing my hair.

  ‘’And what you really saved, Apollo?’’Scoffed the ros,e and she looked at me as I had an empty gaze. A few seconds later, both of them gushed and sang.

  ‘’How romantic’’

  My entire face turned red, and I shoved myself back to the water, only to find that Pup began to swim too.

  Inside the water, I could also see a woman with dark blue skin and scars all around her body. Her wings, broken as she was sitting right next to three old crones. One of them was crafting a thread, spinning it around the wove. The other was trying to get the thread out and pulling it slowly, until it was the right time to stop. And the last one was holding a pair of golden scissors. And the wounded woman was smiling. That goddess would live forever and cause discord for the rest of her life. The others will choose everyone’s fate, even mine.

  I love him, I belong to him.

  No. I don’t. Stop, I do not want this to be my end. Not again.

  The scar on my throat kept burning as my head tried to spin around the image of them I was supposed to end up once again. I wanted to rush to his arms. No, I did not. I wanted to get away. Get away.

  STOP RESISTING. The three women whaled. And I looked right at them with the goddess still smiling, right at me.

  No, I won’t stop. I will not be what they want me to be. I will never do that.

  I could see myself back to Cairo, where my student and the two girls I saved years ago were waiting for me. I could still see the people who haven’t died because of me standing with a smile at the port.

  Everything you touch you destroy.

  That’s not true. That was never true. It was fate, life all around me. And I stop playing that part of the weeping woman.

  What was I doing here? Why were they preparing me? What for? Why was I a guest? No, something should be wrong. I could feel my golden mark burning my throat. I should have been happy, but I couldn’t stop worrying. Worrying that something bad would happen. What now? That Paris is free, what is it for me? Could I return to the mortal world? Or would I be imprisoned again, for everyone to see? Maybe I would be Hermes' pet again. Or Apollos- No, don’t even think about it, just don’t.

  Why was I here? What was I doing? Why were they braiding my hair into rose petals? Why were they dressing me up in red? Why were they painting-

  ‘’May I talk to her?’’ Hermes’ voice echoed, and the nymphs turned to him with a bow.

  ‘’Alone?’’

  I want you, I belong to you.

  Stop, foolish woman, stop.

  And they both had now vanished. Why was he here? What was he doing? Judging by his rich black fabrics and his braided hair, he was ready for the celebration. But his eyes were covered up. I tried to be stiff and cold towards him, but I was stealing glances at myself in the mirror. I was dressed as a man for the past centuries, and I had completely forgotten how I was once. The dress, the jewels, my hair, and face were in such delicate care I couldn’t even believe it, with flowers falling from my curls. I wish I could kiss myself.

  ‘’You look beautiful'’ Hermes gasped, and I replied with a narrow gaze as he kept approaching me. I could still remember what happened the last time we were inside that room. His fingers traced on his covered eyes, and he revealed them to me. They were drenched in tears and pain as he was trying to keep smiling.

  ‘’I never said thank you, did I?’’

  Was that all he wanted? To thank me? Pup walked to my side and then back to Hermes. The god patted his golden head and let out a smile.

  ‘’I don’t know who has to thank who.’’I forced a smile. ‘’You told me that I could do it and reach it.’’

  Hermes’ smile faded, and he looked down at trembling, sharp nails.

  ‘’I tried two centuries after he was captured. Two centuries after you became mine. Thinking that I could get him out. I got to the path, and I walked close to the door. And I got inside. I saw him in his labor and pain. But he wasn’t remembering me. He wasn’t even looking at me. And then, I found out soon that there would be now my own punishment. I couldn’t get out. Of the things I saw, the pain I endured…I couldn’t get past that. I could simply suffer until Tartarus let me go. I could do nothing about it. I was trying over and over again to help him out, just like Artemis did, Ares, Athena..everyone tried, and they couldn’t pass that.

  But they kept fighting, they kept trying to reach out. I could not. I could not try anymore. What kind of mad gods were they to keep fighting? And what a coward I was’’

  Hermes’ voice broke with a rainfall of tears breaking down to his eyes.

  ‘’And, you. I was so afraid that you would freeze. Getting him out was guarantee but the path to find him was…It took you one day, one day, and I couldn’t even do it for a thousand-’’

  ‘’It’s alright, let it out’’ I commanded him. How much guilt was he carrying? How afraid he was when he realised he might never see his brother again.

  ‘’I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry’’He wept.

  I love you, I belong to you, I need you.

  ‘’I know that you are,’’ I said, and pushed my hands to his chest, trying to get away.

  ‘’But you know what I will say.’’

  Hermes nodded and took a deep breath, with his wings covering his eyes once again.

  ‘’I know’’His fingers caressed my throat. ‘’So, I don’t need you anymore.’’

  I blinked, confused, but a sharp pain appeared in my throat. Trying not to choke, I checked myself in the mirror, and I could now see that there was no golden scar on my skin. It was long gone, leaving nothing more than clear flesh. It was gone, and I couldbreatheg again.

  ‘’What does it mean?’’ I asked him.

  ‘’It means that you are free to do whatever you want,’’ He spoke with so much confidence. Travel the world once again, kill everyone that looked at you funny, go with my brother to secret caves, and repopulate the earth for all I-’’

  I rushed right at him, trying to embrace his body so tightly until he suffocated. Those thoughts, the thoughts inside my head, were finally gone.

  ‘’Thank you.’’

  And Hermes cleared his throat.

  ‘’Yeah, sure now’’He offered me his hand. ‘’Time for your entrance.’’

  I touched his hand softly, and as he was helping me to fly from one house to another, I noticed that we were getting even higher. There it was. My stomach is about to vomit. My heart exploded..The clouds all around us were now our steps to the main entrance.

  What am I doing here? I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t.

  ‘’Nervous?’’Hermes laughed.

  And I answered with a narrowed brow. ‘’Of course not’’I lifted my chin slightly up.

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  And the god chuckled. ‘’The balance will need to return’’He spoke out. ‘’And you did a number by getting him out.’’

  I turned to him, confused by those words. What did he mean by that?

  ‘’What will happen if you get punished?’’He asked me, and I looked down at the endless, deep cliff that was waiting for me. One wrong step and I would be gone.

  Punishment? I have already seen what it’s like. I couldn’t imagine anything worse after that. I couldn’t understand which part of me was thinking, which part of me I wanted to believe. How many times have I seen people, and then they vanish because of time? How many people I loved and lost by my own hands. I was no hero. I was no warrior. I was not an example.

  ‘’No matter what happens’’I finally spoke out. Can it happen in a few years? ''I still have promised the boy and the others to return, I want to see them grow old’’

  And Hermes’ brow arched.

  ‘’What about my brother?’’He asked.

  And there was silence once again. What about him? Could he be a part of my story? Of my life?

  ‘’Even one more second with him would last me for eternity. ‘’ I said, smiling at him widely. And finally, the herald nodded as we were standing in front of a door that was made from starlight.

  Why was I here? I couldn't do it. No, I could. Relax, you will simply enter a celebration in front of half the Pantheon. Which half of them did you curse. Not a big deal.

  ''May I talk?''A familiar harsh voice spoke out, and my gaze turned to the left where Leto was hiding around the pillars. Looking slolwy back, my gaze stared at Hermes who was lowering his head and walking further away, waiting.

  The godess was radiant even in black fabric. Her smile upon her wolf face was a warm kiss against all the fear that was bestowing on my heart and hers.

  ''Thank you''I spoke gently at her, thinking of what she did thousands of years ago. She helped them, she hid them, she saved them. And with those words, Leto smiled.

  ''I should have thanked you''She jerked her head. ''Even with your many mistakes, your vulgar personality''

  Was she trying to compliment me or insult me?

  ''You managed to get my son out.''She finally spoke out.

  And I tilted my head to the right as I asked her a heavy question. Why did you help them?

  ‘’The day that I met you, I wanted to kill you. I wanted to hurt you. Not only because you were hurting my son. But because of your existence. The meaning of your life. You were defying each path, each innocence you were touching, corruption was ending at your fingertips. And yet, you were still surviving, you still had people to love you. Why you? Why was such a mere mortal woman loved with her hands stained in blood? And why did I suffer on a forgotten island for my naivety, filled with pain and sorrow?

  It did not matter because … I am the goddess of innocence. The people that you helped, the people that you cared about, were innocent. And they loved you. I couldn’t take those memories away from them. I couldn’t be cruel to them. So, I did my duty, I protected them, I sheltered them until they could do it on their own…I just wish I could have done more to protect them from what came for them.’’

  And she let out a heavy breath, clearing her throat. ‘’What was-’’She whispered heavily.

  She did everything. She hated me, maybe she still does. But she helped me.

  And I looked back at the door with Hermes still waiting for me.

  ‘’Will you come with me?’’I asked, offering her my hand. But she shook her head.

  ‘’I will see my son later’’She explained and walked away from us and I walked back to Hermes.

  As he opened, I could see a palace made from the moon and the sun, clouds all around, showing the bright stars from above. I saw gods that I had met before, gods that I had only heard of. But even Persephone and Hades were sitting, with Demeter smiling gently to her daughter. Ares was sitting close to Aphrodite while a god with the shape of a crane was holding another woman, and yet was trying to steal small glances from the goddess of love.

  Artemis was also sitting next to Dionysus and Ariadne, as well as a fire woman who was looking down at the table. There was even a man made out of water and seaweed, sitting close to the two great thrones where the King and Queen of the gods were facing me with a cold gaze.

  My eyes tried to search around once again, trying to find anything, anyone that I could speak to.

  ‘’Oracle?’ ’Paris’ voice finally appeared, and I saw him sitting close to the two thrones too. His hair was embraced by red threads, just like his chiton, with his face, perfectly clean and warm like a mortal’s. And so, Hermes finally let me go, and I began walking slowly closer to him.

  What was I doing? What was..

  And Paris had rushed to my embrace, trying to hug me once again.

  ‘’You are still here’’He wept into whispers.

  And I blinked with my face turning deep red. ‘’I am here’’

  Suddenly, the King of the Gods finally spoke and showed his chalice while Hermes was whispering to him.

  ‘’We are here to celebrate the return of one of our own.’’His eyes moved back to his son, who was keeping his embrace around me. But he soon stopped and replied with a bow.

  ‘’My son, who got out of his prison after thousands of years. This prison and punishment have come to an end. All’’He then faced me, and I could feel my body falling to the floor. But I couldn’t do it. I was still refusing to kneel down. And it seemed that the King of the gods was enjoying that I still had standards.

  ‘’To this woman who was trapped in time for centuries.’’He said with a warm smile. ‘’Even with all your crimes in the past, we cannot ignore what you have done now’’

  And his lips trembled in pride. Everyone’s actually. Was it so difficult to say thank you?

  ‘’Your welcome’’I replied dryly, and everyone began coughing.

  ‘’However,’’ The king with the sharp horns growled.’’We cannot ignore the imbalance of the world now. And what will it mean for the fate of our own.’’

  Right. My fingers began trembling like leaves from the fear of a punishment to come. However, Paris had now grabbed my hand gently, trying to reassure me that everything was alright.

  ‘’Hermes, who had betrayed his own brother’’Zeus spoke again. ‘’Got punished by letting you go’’He explained, and I turned to the god who was still covering his face with the wings. Was this the reason he let me go? Or was it by his own will? I couldn’t tell anymore.

  ‘’And as for you.’’He now looked at both of us.

  ‘’Lyssandra, do you accept your punishment of becoming mortal once again?’’

  My heart ached hearing those words. Mortal? I could…I would grow old and die. I would …I wouldn’t see anyone else wither and die, wishing that would be me. I would..

  ‘’After that, you will either be sent to Asphodels or Elysium, or your soul will turn immortal and live with us. It will be your choice at the beginning of your journey to the end.’’

  And my entire being trembled. I trembled so badly that I began laughing. And crying. I was crying so much that I was ruining the cosmetics around my face.

  ‘’Yes,’’I bawled out from joy. ‘’I…’’My gaze turned to where Paris was.

  ‘’And you, son, do you accept your punishment of having also a mortal life? ‘’

  Paris looked above, confused. ‘’What?’’

  ‘’You will grow old, you will die’’He explained.’’You will suffer, like mortals, but when you pass on, you will return once again like a god.’’

  And his gaze moved to me. ‘’Will I…’’His grip grew stronger. ‘’Will I be able to stay with her?’’

  With me. he did not want to leave me. He wanted to stay with me. Grow old with me. And I wanted it too.

  I could see Hera trying to look away, muttering how it was possible that everyone was so interested in me. I couldn’t help but blush from embarrassment as each and every one of the gods was facing him and me, expecting something to happen.

  ‘’I suppose’’The King grunted.

  And Paris smiled.

  ‘’Then, yes.’’

  After all of it, everyone raised their chalice and began cheering as Hermes vanished from thin air. Where was he going?

  There was finally a celebration. But it wasn’t what I was expecting to happen. Everyone was sitting while the music was playing, talking, and eating. I couldn’t even do that. Because I couldn’t believe what just happened. I would become human once more. I would feel pain. I would feel love and…

  He was sitting right next to me. He was silent. Why was he silent?

  ‘’What’s the matter?’’ I asked.

  ‘’I am sorry, I didn’t ask you’’He explained to me. ‘’I didn’t know if you wanted to stay with me too, or’’His hands were playing around a red apple. And, I took it slowly from him, taking a bite, trying to show him that my intentions were the same as his. I did everything to get him out, and he would do everything to be on my side until I would die.

  None was dancing or singing. It was time to change it.

  ‘’Come with me’’I said and grabbed him by his hand.

  ‘’What?’ He faced me, stunned, but I couldn’t stop smiling as he finally got up and danced.

  The movements were slow, but we still could see each other fighting one another. One woman in the armor of her pride, and a once god, trying to get his guilt away. Both of u are trying to break these armors slowly. And more of the gods appeared amused and joined us.

  His eyes were searching me, studying every one of my expressions, and I could only face him back.

  ‘’Oracle, I…’’He tried to whisper to me. ‘’I need to tell you, what if I am not meant to do what is expected of me?’’

  What is expected?

  ‘’Are you?’’ I raised one eyebrow. ‘’Afraid?’’

  His face turned deep red, and he tried to look away. ‘’Of course not?’’

  ‘’Oh, great Pheobus, you are afraid of getting goose feet.’’

  And he blinked, confused. ‘’Old people are turning in too goose?’’

  I couldn’t help but laugh at that comment. And everyone was facing me, confused as I was snorting heavily. But the dance grew stronger, the melody and warmth with each thread of thefades getting cut. No rules. There are no boundaries or fates in dancing. No boundaries of an art that shows love.

  I finally held his hand once again and smiled. ‘’Paris, there are no expectations. Maybe we will live together until the end. Maybe we won’t. But I know that everything will be alright’’

  And his eyes almost closed up with his other hands cupping my face, and he leaned closer to me and finally kissed me. A warm, sweet, long kiss that made me feel alive once again.