I remember to take the eyes. This will not be for nothing. After the crying stops I’m calm. No, I know this feeling. I’m in shock. I wrap my hand as good as I can and head back to the treehouse. That quote about surviving worse just plays over and over in my head. This isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me. My brain is screaming it should be. This should be the worst thing I ever have to go through and instead it’s just a Tuesday.

  I lay down in the treehouse and I realize what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to pretend nothing happened and I’m gonna wake up and go fight the bear. My health is only 218/410. I don’t think it’s my fingers. My back hurts a lot and I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t go back into the tent for long enough to matter. At least I won’t ruin my blankets I guess. I go into my treehouse and lean back against the inside of the tree. It hurts worse than my hand.

  I pull some rags from my bag again, I need to wash these. Huh. I guess if I’m thinking about washing rags I guess I’m not giving up. I’m so close now, I just have to get better and take down a bear. I laugh at that. What a silly sentence. Sorry Mia I can’t come to your tea party, I have to fight a bear. James would love it. He was always telling us crazy stories from stuff he read or watched. What was it he kept trying to get me to watch? The Black Cauldron? I look it up in the archive. Oh, it's a book and a movie. I start the movie and pass out before the Disney logo fades away.

  *****

  Don’t look at it.

  I sit up and my back is just kind of throbbing. I think the bleeding stopped. I check my health, 342/410. I don’t know how long it’s been but there’s dried drool on my face. I wipe it away with two fingers and try not to think about how that feels. I pull off my shirt and see it’s already back together. I guess it wasn’t good enough to stop those claws. I guess I wasn’t either. But I was good enough to win. I survived this.

  What else you got? I still feel like fighting. I still feel like getting that bear fat and summoning the Fae. I still feel like taking out that snake. I still feel like I’m going to make it to level 50 and see Hecate again. You wanna stop me System? You wanna stop me world? I’ll win. Take and take and take and I’m still going to win. I’m going to be here and I’m going to get up every day and I’M GOING TO WIN.

  I’m not even mad. I don’t know what this is. This is just how it is. Who I am. I’m gonna be the one who keeps getting back up everyday. I’m going to keep learning and reading and discovering new music even if I can only count to eighteen on my fingers and toes. I make a mana glove on my left hand with five digits. Five working digits. It’s not the same and I can’t control it like they were really there but that’s ok. It’s not giving up. I release the glove and that’s ok, I have it if I need it. I turn on some music and start cleaning myself up.

  It’s not time to hunt the bear yet, not until I’m healed. Not until the trap is fixed and I think of a plan for what happens when it all goes terribly wrong. Or just a little wrong. Or exactly how I want it. I clean myself up, I clean and boil my rags and wash my clothes for the second day in a row. Sounds gross to say out loud, maybe I should be doing that. And I laugh a little at that dumb thought. Silly kid playing hero in the woods. Well isn’t that all heroes get started? One day you wander into a lake or a cave and an old man or spirit or lady gives you a sword because it’s dangerous to go alone? Hecate gave me magic, time to go do something with it.

  I make some lunch while I heal and then head back to the pit. I can’t help but be a little skittish so I’m checking trees and pouring mana into my aura and trying to see if anything is around. That cat hit me so fast my aura couldn’t even warn me. I gotta fix that somehow. I’ll get to it. For now I repair the pit and wonder if the cat got hurt on the spikes. Unlike the bear it was small enough that it might be able to fit between some of them.

  It’s late afternoon and I think I’m about ready when I remember what that last fight got me. Another skill point. I’ve been keeping myself distracted and working all day because I didn’t want to dwell on what I lost. I think I’m a little scared that it’s not really hit me yet and as soon as it does I’ll break. No matter how much I swear otherwise. I let myself think about it for a minute and it doesn’t seem like I’m about to burst into tears or anything. I’m upset about it, but it really just makes me want to keep going. Just as soon as I pick up the best movement skill ever.

  I pull out the tent zipper. No dumb mistakes like picking skills unprotected. It’s only 68%. Safe inside the tent I bring up the skill menu. I don’t even look at anything else before I pick Basic Spark Step. I leave the tent ready to go. One problem, the bears have already left the river for today. Annoying. I take the cover off the pit so I don’t get another animal by accident. I almost make it back to the treehouse before I realize I’m being really stupid.

  I don’t stop and think about why I’m trying to rush into this, that’s not helpful right now. I just got a new skill and I was about to start a fight with something I know is dangerous without even trying it. I need to slow down a little but I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time. Are there people running around with species upgrades already? I guess I can’t worry about that right now.

  Alright, let's test this skill. I jump on the other side of my little stream so I don’t mess up the soap I’m working on. I’ve already finished the jerky so there’s nothing on my rack. I can see I made the fire too hot and I need to replace some pieces of wood but that can wait. My metal enemies are put away so I don’t have to worry about those either. This should be fine.

  I’m not sure exactly how this skill is supposed to work so I try just activating it. Nothing happens. I start walking slowly and try again. Whoa! It kind of feels like when a rollercoaster goes down the first time. My stomach feels kind of weird and I’ve moved a lot further than a step. I walk over to the stream and get a big rock, I move it to where I started and activate the skill while taking a step. Using Advanced Identify I turn and check the distance, 12 feet. How much mana? I make a mana box and pour energy into it until I’m not restoring mana anymore. I take a step and use the skill again. 30 mana, so I can do this almost 20 times in a row before I run out of mana.

  I release the square and let my mana come back. No way am I going to let all of my mana run out. Not on purpose. Let’s see what happens when I keep using the skill. Step, activate skill, step, activate skill. Ugh, dizzy. Also I kind of stopped in the middle there. Try it again. I have to stop for a second because I start feeling car sick. No fair, I’m not even in a car. I rub my face and the feeling of missing fingers startles me. I don’t know if I want to get used to that. I try to stop thinking about it. As soon as my stomach stops doing cartwheels I test the skill again.

  By the time it gets dark enough for me to go in the treehouse I feel pretty good about my tests. I can keep the skill going by feeding it more mana instead of recasting it but it’ll only go 24 feet in a row before it stops and I have to recast it. If I only go 12 feet I can recast again right after, but if I go all the way it takes 3 seconds before I can do it again. Anywhere between those and there’s still a cool down but not as long. I start writing again before bed. It’s been a while since I wrote in my journal and I think this is something I should be doing. Reading over it again I decide I need to work on my writing. I’ve been reading stuff like the Bible and the Iliad but I don’t think I should try talking like that. I look up authors that have great dialogue and make a promise to start reading some of them. The first on the list is someone named Douglas Adams. Something to do tomorrow, tonight I’m exhausted.

  *****

  I always thought that grownup stuff was super serious business. Like the news is always so serious and everything is terrible and we should all be very concerned. It took me longer than I want to say to realize that Douglas Adams isn’t being completely serious. The stuff he’s joking about is terrible, but also really funny. I feel like I would have gotten in trouble for making jokes about the universe being a mistake. Also, I’m absolutely adding a towel to my wish list with toilet paper, a comb, a toothbrush and a watch.

  Something about me laughing has been bothering me for literally months. Like you’re not allowed to laugh and be sad or upset. When I was little, or littler? When I was still with my family and I would get upset they’d always try and make me laugh. They’d joke and tickle me and do whatever to make me stop being a “pouty face”. Eventually I would laugh. And then whatever upset me would feel better, and eventually I’d stop caring as much. I think laughing is helping but I don’t ever want to stop caring as much about them. It’s getting easier to think about them though. I don’t cry every night. Even with what happened yesterday I didn’t cry last night. It doesn’t mean I’m not still sad or upset, it just means I can laugh and eventually it won’t hurt so bad.

  So I laugh at Arthur and Ford and the destruction of Earth by mean, stupid, evil aliens. I imagine what it would be like to have a guide to the galaxy, the archive isn’t quite that though. There’s no evil aliens trying to destroy us so they can build a highway either. I like how simple everything is though I don’t think I understand it all. I pick school work back up, I’m doing eighth grade work now. It seems like a lot of it is about understanding what authors mean but also understanding what I get out of their writing.

  Between getting invested in the book and trying to do some school work it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry. I haven’t forgotten the bear but I’m trying to think if I’m forgetting anything. Or if there’s something I can do to make myself more safe. I want to know how to stop yesterday from happening again.

  After some bacon and mushrooms I decide I’m as ready as I’m going to be. First I make sure there are some bears around, then I drop some mana in the pit and cover it. That’ll be important later. Now all I have to do is choose my target. I only see two bears nearby this time. One is level 30 and the other is level 32. Do I want to play it safe or do I want a fight?

  I want a fight.

  Am I hurt and looking for something to punish? Maybe. Am I trying to push myself to see that I’m only going to get stronger? I have no idea but that sounds good. I think I’m just ready to admit I like a good fight. Daddy got onto Benji once for fighting. Someone said something mean and Benji punched them in the stomach. Dad was so mad, he was like “if someone hurts you with words, use words. If someone hurts you with a fist then use a fist.” It’s not the same thing but I don’t want to fight stuff that can’t fight back. Pretty sure the bears can fight.

  Level 32 Tough Brown Bear

  HP: 1912

  Distance 1100 feet

  Yeah you. You’re gonna give me what I need. I start manipulating the mana in the pit. I can make 6 blasters before I can’t control them any more. Not good enough. Not for this. But why do I need blasters when I can make the bear go to the shells? So that’s what I’m doing, making shells at the bottom of the pit. I get to 10 before they start needing me to give them mana. Ok that’s enough. I let my mana come back but make sure the shells are fine.

  Now I need to get this thing’s attention.

  I don’t have any marmalade sandwiches, and I’m not ever sure what marmalade is so I’ll have to do something different. I shoot some firecrackers around the bear and it doesn’t even notice. It’s watching the river for fish which gives me an idea. Using my mana I make a net to get a fish. It’s not even hard, these fish suck. I yank the fish up and over the bear's head and it does a little half hop trying to bite it. I make a blaster and shoot the fish towards me. I try and fail not to giggle at shooting fish at myself. Stop Marie, you have to take this seriously. Weird time to get giggly.

  The fish gets most of the way to me and I run over and pick it up before running to stand over the pit while Mana Walking. I start waving the fish around, holding it with two hands when its tail slaps me in the face. I barely cast Voltaic Circuit and it won’t be doing that again. The bear has definitely noticed me and is casually walking over to me. It almost seems curious. It’s actually kind of cute, like a big fluffy dog.

  As it runs up it’s getting less cute. I start backing up and it stands up and roars at me. It’s this deep rolling sound that I can feel in my bones. I freeze. I don’t mean I’m scared or I don’t know what to do I mean I cannot move. This must be some kind of a skill. It drops down to all fours and starts running at me. My body is still frozen but I can access my magic. It lunges and I pop a shield directly in its face. Whatever it did to me wears off and I take a step forward with Basic Spark Step. That’s right, forward and right through the bear.

  Around 120 mana disappears and the bear's growl almost sounds like an ow. I turn around and shove it into the pit. In sports there’s usually weight classes for fighting. I know this because Benji started wrestling this year. He was more excited about that and football than the sixth grade so I learned a lot about sports. Like how to get low when you tried to tackle someone. The bear was stronger than me, probably way stronger, but that doesn’t mean anything if its feet are off the ground.

  I don’t know how much bears weigh, I probably should have looked that up. I do know that with all my stats it was still hard to shove the bear over. If its front claws weren’t already part of the way over the edge I doubt I could have done it. But they were, and I did. It sounded offended as it fell down the hole and then SKREEK-SPLAT ZACRACK it hit the ground and the shells went off, the sound much louder than anything I’d made before. My vision blurs a little and my ears are ringing. I’m glad I wasn’t standing directly over the pit. Although if it hurt me up here… I quickly move to look into the pit.

  The bear is making weird sounds like a small growl that gets louder before it starts. It’s shaking its head and kind of wobbling. It starts hitting one side of the pit with its shoulder, cracking the bark and making some rocks tumble out. Even though this went better than I expected, another part of my plan failed. The metal pieces from the spider are just bent over, apparently not strong enough to hurt the bear. I check it’s health before I move on to the next part of the plan.

  Level 32 Tough Brown Bear

  HP: 1332

  So this trap would kill most of the things I’ve run across by itself. I’ll take it. I cast Waterfall above the pit and let the pit start filling up with water. Four blaster shots knock another 200 and something health points off. The water is up to its ankles when I hear the roar. Not from the bear in the pit but from the one still at the river. I just assumed by pulling one over here the other one would just ignore us. They ignored my fight with the Lynx, but maybe they don’t care about cats. I pop a shield on my back and hope it's enough while I wait for the roar to wear off. I swear I can smell its breath when I’m able to move again and I Basic Spark Step to the other side of the pit. Moving through Waterfall takes a couple of extra points of mana but I barely notice. I’m still over half mana but this fight just got harder. I inspect the new bear.

  Level 30 Tough Brown Bear

  HP: 1638

  Interesting. My brain tells me that math doesn’t work, either this thing is already injured or it has less base stats than the bear in the pit. I really wish I understood how animals work in the System. It doesn’t matter, I think, shaking my head a little. I have to get it in the pit. It’s staring at me and I know what’s about to happen. It opens its mouth and I fire a shell right down its throat. I take a step and Basic Spark Step twice going right through it. Can I pull the same trick twice? I slam into its butt and push up but its claws aren’t as far as the others one was. Panicking I cast another Waterfall at its feet and the ground turns to mud letting me push it the rest of the way. THUD SPLASH. I turn off the new Waterfall and look around to make sure there’s nothing else that can attack me. The new bear barely lost 10 health to that. Hah, barely.

  Not the time Marie. The pit is deep but not really made for two bears, the new one is trying to get out and tearing the bark walls down around it. Waterfall still running I fire off four more shots before stopping to let my mana recover. My mana is really low now and I haven’t gotten either of them to half their health. My mana is recovering slower than usual because of Waterfall but the water is making their lives harder. The new one is trying to dig out but the rocks are making it hard for them to stand and dig. The other one is still messed up from that first attack and is trying to get the other one away from it, even taking a swipe or two at it. Neither of them are all that smart and they stand and start swinging at each other, doing better damage than me.

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  I wanted a fight but with the two of them mad at each other it’s just shooting bears in a pit. They’re not even trying to get out when the water gets above their head and I cut off the skill. They aren’t going to drown but they’re having a real bad time. I understand bears, I’ve had some bad times too. I finish them off like this, and am kind of disappointed. These are apex predators? The System dings and I kind of get it.

  *DING*

  Level 32 Tough Brown Bear Defeated

  Partial Experience Rewarded

  Level 30 Tough Brown Bear Defeated

  Partial Experience Rewarded

  I lost experience because they started fighting each other. They may have even done more damage to each other than I did. I’m disappointed, kinda. But I’m also really excited, this is it, I have all the ingredients on the list! Now I just have to go to the rock quarry and make the spell. Even though I’m excited even though I know that’s not going to be today. I have two bears worth of materials, and I need to get as much from them as I can. Especially the skins, my leather armor could use an upgrade, and I’d like to make some stuff to go with the clothes Morrigan gave me. Something for my arms maybe? I could also use some winter clothes, even though it’s pretty far away. I catch myself staring at my hand and shake it off. I guess I’ll also find out if the Fae can help me.

  Oh right, Morrigan told me to do that at the rock quarry, which is a half day walk back to my first tree house. Actually probably more if I bring the mantis with me. Also I need to take care of these bears first which is gonna take a while. Ugh, maybe I can try to go tomorrow? I guess I better get to work.

  I used mana constructs to drag the bears out of the pit and then had to stop and let my mana recover. Lifting heavy stuff is hard! I get them both out of the hole before remembering I could make stuff lighter. Super genius Marie. I start cutting some limbs and make a litter. Gravity magic makes them lighter and I pull them back to my treehouse one at a time. The second one gives me something to make up for not getting another level. A skill upgrade!

  *DING*

  Burden of Atlas Upgraded

  Scales of Ma'at

  We shall use my larger scales! Increase or decrease the weight of a target. Weight change based on mana investment. Upgradeable.

  Nice. Since I’m not trying to go to the quarry today I spend a few minutes playing with the new skill. I actually have to give it less mana on purpose because the weight is too much, I’m having trouble walking. Wow that’s a crazy improvement from the last skill, but I have upgraded this one twice now. Next I try making myself lighter and it might be as cool as my shock step skill. Well almost. I can jump all the way up to the lower limbs easy. I think this will make me super fast but I’m going too high in the air. I’m definitely going to have to work on how I run with this on. Thirty minutes later and I reluctantly get back to work.

  The skin is tough even dead but once I’m under it the work isn’t too hard. I’m in the middle of skinning the second bear and thinking about what all I have to do when I remember it takes a couple of days to cure. Oh, come on. Well that gives me time to get better with my new skill. I don’t have the room for all the bear meat so I take a few minutes to see if there’s something else I can do to save it. I need salt. Add that to the list I guess. Maybe the Fae will have some? And maybe they’ll have toilets too. I look at my hand. I need to stop hoping someone else will fix all my problems. I still hope they can help though.

  It takes me basically all day to get everything done, or at least set up. I decide to go ahead and start making some more soap and jerky, just trying not to waste what I don’t have to. I’m tired when evening hits so I wash up and get in the tree house. It’s still too early to sleep so I pull up the archive and read some more Adams. If Vogons make the worst poetry, I wonder who makes the best?

  *****

  “I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.” I think Joyce Kilmer never had to live in one. Although with the tent I guess I don’t either. I wandered too late last night down a rabbit hole of my own making. That’s called prosaic writing and I don’t know whether I love it or hate it. That sentence took me an hour to come up with. I kept changing it and then erasing it and then starting all over again. Cynthia Plath confused me, but I want to understand it bad enough I’m not gonna give up. Emily Dickinson was easier but maybe more upsetting? Edgar Allan Poe though, I think that guy would get me. I read through my journal last night and after reading those poems it made me kind of upset. Everything is “stupid” or “crazy” and apparently adverbs are bad? I say really and like, like a lot.

  I’m worried and I didn’t really get why until last night. I don’t feel like just a little kid anymore but what if that’s all the Fae see? What if they pat me on the head and tell me to go play with my dolls or something? No way am I gonna improve enough in a day or two to change that. I tried looking up stuff like sounding more mature but it’s all like “talk in a lower tone” and “be professional”. That’s not what I mean at all. The biggest thing is improving vocabulary, that’s not hard to figure out but apparently you can go too far? I see people saying not to use big words to sound smart but how do I know the difference between big words to sound smart and the right word? Also there’s words for all sorts of weird stuff, I looked up words for really specific things. Like defenstrate, which means to throw someone out a window. Is that better than yeet? Probably, I only ever heard Benji say yeet, and maybe a couple of videos.

  So what do I do? Read a dictionary? A thesaurus? Hitchhiker’s Guide isn’t super hard to read but I don’t think I want to sound like Arthur. Maybe Ford but I don’t think he’s supposed to be taken too seriously. I need to read other stuff, that’s the only way. What were the books for The Black Cauldron? I can’t believe I forgot, I never forget anything anymore. I was really hurt though. Chronicles of Pridain, I’ll try them next. Why is it always boys though? Where are my girls at? Like Wrinkle in Time. Maybe something with older kids first? I need some that are considered the best. A quick search gives me a list with Animorphs, The Dark is Rising, Percy Jackson and a bunch of others I’ve already read. I’ll get through these and then try to read some college books.

  Having a plan always makes me feel better and I go out to make breakfast and exercise. Most of my exercise is just messing with my new skill and seeing how heavy I can stand being. I find a good spot to keep it while walking and try to get used to it. It’s more than before but if I’m right that’s how I keep upgrading Scales of Ma'at and getting stronger. I figure since I’m not going anywhere today I should make something to carry the stuff that won’t fit in my bag like the mantis and the leather I’m curing.

  I look up how to carve a sled. I have a ton of wood obviously and my mana knives are pretty good. Anything with nails is out, there are some designs that connect the wood with special cutting techniques but it would take me like a week and I really don’t want to wait that long. I finally settle on a simple log sled, something I can actually make from one of these limbs since they’re so big. I go ahead and cut up some firewood to take with me while I’m at it. It’s pretty much just carving but it still going to take me most of the day. I play music in the background for a while, wishing I could read while I was working.

  Oh my goddess Marie, audio books! Why did I never think of audio books? I’m not going to give up on music at all, but this is so much better for the mood I’m in. It takes me a bit to find where I am in Hitchhikers but soon I kind of zone out and keep working.

  Today was nice. I’m not fighting for my life or worried about the next big thing. I’m ready to do Morrigan’s spell and yeah I’m kind of nervous but normal nervous. Not “will I get eaten” nervous. The calm voice of the British guy reading is also helping. He just sounds so nice, and a couple of times I find myself choking up over stuff that seems dumb. I don’t really get why, it comes in waves and then disappears. I don’t know if I want to know where it’s coming from.

  I’m definitely going to make sure to do this again. Just take a day to read and make stuff and just chill out. Somehow I don’t even have that feeling I did have, like when you forgot there was going to be a test at school, or you were supposed to clean up your room but you started reading a book you found under the bed instead. I feel like I earned this rest.

  I make holes in the sled, but I don’t try to use twine or the sinew thread I’ve made, I’ll just use mana when I need to. I make four holes so if I have to I can pick the whole thing up instead of dragging it, it’s not that heavy compared to the bears. Good enough for now, I’ll pack everything up in the morning and head out.

  *****

  I never got the metal spider pieces out of the pit and I debate about going to get them. I decide not to, I still have the legs but I don’t think the spider is as good as the mantis. I bring the legs anyway. I’m a little iffy about listening to anything on the walk back. I decide to wait a while and if it seems like there’s no danger I can do it then. With everything loaded up, leather on top I activate Scales of Ma'at and Mana Walking and take off. I can definitely tell the difference with the new skill. Feel the burn!

  As I walk I’m seeing animals and insects more than my trip here. Some of them are even over level 20 now. Honestly I was kind of expecting there to be a lot more danger but the highest level thing I’ve seen so far is level 22 ladybug that has a really hard looking shell. I check it out and it’s called a shielded lady bug. After the bats though I don’t really think about fighting it. Anything too far below my level isn’t worth it unless it’s for materials. Plus you never know when something is more dangerous than it looks. No reason to get hurt for nothing far from a tree house.

  There’s enough stuff walking around on the ground that I decide to pull my sled into the air. I’m strong enough now that I don’t even have to drop the gravity magic, especially since I’m heavier but the sled isn’t. I do ease up on it after a while though, I’m getting really sweaty and starting to breathe kind of hard. I finally start getting my breath back to normal when something flies into the sled. And I mean really flies.

  Whatever it is hits the top of the sled as fast as one of my shells. WHAP the sound of it hitting the leather reminds me of catching a softball but much faster. I don’t release the gravity magic fast enough and I’m yanked out of the air. “Ahhhh,” I kind of yell before managing to get my feet back under me. When the sled gets to the end of my mana ropes I almost fall again, finally letting go of Scales of Ma'at. I quickly let the sled get to the ground and let go, looking around for what hit me.

  I barely make out a brown blur coming down on the sled again. It takes off with one of the bear skins and I see it’s just some kind of bird. Now that it’s trying to carry something it’s slowed down a little and I take a couple of shots at it with my blaster before using Advanced Identify.

  Level 24 Rapid Peregrine Falcon

  HP: 302

  Distance 96 feet

  It drops down and my shells miss. Yeah, it’s a bird but I figured that out. How about something useful? Oh yeah, I inspect the name. Raptor that uses extreme speed when diving to catch prey unaware.

  Rapid Peregrine Falcon

  My name is Peregrine Falcon and I’m the fastest thing alive. Raptor that uses extreme speed to take down its prey.

  This is going to be annoying. I shoot firecrackers above the falcon and try to catch it with a shield. It glides a little before flying up again. Even with the bear skin this thing is going up pretty fast. OK let’s play. I reactivate Scales of Ma'at but this time I make myself lighter. I start running towards the falcon, taking big steps and it starts flapping harder. I don’t do a very good job of timing so I end up above the falcon. I shoot off a few shells but it’s still able to dodge. I thought if I aimed for the leather instead of it I’d get it but this thing’s smarter than that.

  Marie, have you forgotten how to fight? I cast Scales of Ma'at on the leather and shoot off a couple of shots. WHAP-WHAP ZAAAAP. I’m getting faster, the zaps of my shells going off is starting to be one long sound every time. The falcon lets go of the leather and takes off before I can hit it again. Uh oh. I have no idea where it went. I pop a shield over my head and on my back and strain not to blink.

  Maybe it’ll go back after the skin I think right before I catch a brown blur coming at my face. I get my right arm up but it grabs me before I can pop a shield. It’s really digging into my arm but this was the dumbest thing it could have done. Voltaic Circuit makes fried falcon and I’m thinking about Church’s Chicken for the first time in months.

  Level 24 Rapid Peregrine Falcon Defeated

  Experience Rewarded

  Ow. How come I can fight a bear and not get hurt but cats and birds tear me up? I didn’t lose a lot of mana but my arm looks like a mess. I carry the body with me and get the bear skin it was after. When I get back to the sled there’s a little black tail sticking out from under the other bear skin. I guess not listening to music or books was the right thing to do. What now? I drop the bird and inspect it.

  Level 12 Fox

  HP: 32

  Distance: 10 feet

  “Come on out,” I say. It starts wiggling and backing out. It takes one look at me, yips, and runs off. Adorable. Ah man, that could have been my forest buddy! I completely forgot I had tried to make friends with things. I almost take off after it but decide I better not. I know better now. These are wild animals, not pets. Really really cute wild animals that I want to cuddle. I talk myself down and check the archive before I try to see if I can cook the falcon.

  Not even good for food. I’ve learned what gamey means and while I’m kind of used to it this is probably too much. I hate wasting stuff so I take the feathers. I have no idea what I’m going to do with them, but they’ll fit in my bag. I wrap my arm in clean bandages, something I made sure I had yesterday, and keep going. After all that I decide to stay on the ground. I do turn Scales of Ma'at back on though. No reason to skip training.

  The rest of the walk to the treehouse near the quarry is pretty calm. I kill some kind of grass woodchuck and a pair of ground rabbits, but they were barely over 20 and I only killed them because they wouldn’t stop attacking me. I didn’t even use skills on them, just a mana blade. I’m not even sure what kind of skills they had because they died so quick. I expect to feel bad about it but they did attack me. I guess that matters a lot.

  I didn’t stop for lunch so I’m starving when I get to the tree house. I have a little jerky and remember I have a single slice of cake left. If I eat it now I don’t have to share it with the Fae. That’s awful Marie, I think, as I stuff it in my face. I cut myself a closet out at the bottom of the tree like I did at the other treehouse using the bark as a door and push the sled in. Should I go ahead and summon the Fae now or wait until in the morning? Well, I’m really tired. The new gravity magic is something. My arm still hurts so I’m not at full health. Also I could probably use a bath. Tomorrow it is.

  My baths are sad things and something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Basically I just was washing myself off with homemade soap and boiled rags. I’d kill for a real bath. I actually have an idea for this but I need a really big rock, which is at the quarry, so that’ll have to wait too. Now what should I do? Maybe I should have ran through the woods saying, “here foxy foxy foxy.” Would have wasted some time. I’m tired but I still have a lot of weird energy. It’s like the first night before school starts and you can’t sleep because you know you’re going to see your friends tomorrow.

  I try to read but I can’t really concentrate, I put on some mindless sitcom and just kind of lay around waiting for bed time. I can’t be productive all the time. When I get in bed I expect it to take me a while to get to sleep, but I just faceplant and start snoring.

  *****

  ? Eye of Cat

  ? Butterfly Wings

  ? Caps of King Oyster

  ? Heart of a Wolf

  ? Feather of a Crow

  ? Bear fat

  ? 7 Hawthorne berries

  There’s something really satisfying about completing a todo list. We had a whiteboard with chores on it stuck to the fridge. I don’t think anyone likes doing chores, but I liked putting a check mark beside them. I could have gotten up and ready quicker today. I’m nervous. I check over my clothes for the hundredth time to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Jerky for breakfast instead of cooking. Reread the instructions and diagram even though I’ve memorized them.

  Dammit. I forgot something she told me. I can’t do this today, it has to be a full moon or solstice sun. She said the solstice already passed and I’m not sure about the moon. I should learn more about the moon since it’s important to Hecate, put it on my todo list. Might as well look some stuff up. When is the solstice anyway? Oh there’s two of them. Wait a minute, Winter Solstice has passed but Summer Solstice is two weeks past my birthday? I’m so confused. That’s today! Wait, there are moon calendars. The full moon is tonight, and that’s super rare.

  Oh this feels weird. Did Hecate and Morrigan somehow help me with this? My excitement stops being so loud. OK I guess I can do it today, just later. I try to read or listen to music or maybe an audio book but I can’t concentrate. I end up putting on another dumb sitcom and kind of napping through the day. I probably should have done something productive.

  The moon comes out before the sun is gone and I get my sled but leave everything but the fire wood. The walk to the quarry is quiet, I see a couple of animals but they don’t come close. It’s different in the dark, the shadows seem like they’re going to grab me. I’m starting to expect quiet walks to be interrupted by something jumping or flying at me but nothing happens. I don’t even want to play music on the way, I’m already kind of jumping at any little noise. I probably shouldn’t do that anyway when I’m not somewhere safe. I still want to fight to a soundtrack. I’m not sure if that’s me being a kid or just something everyone would want.

  The whole walk feels like having to go up in front of the class to tell them what you did over the summer. What if they think it’s stupid? What if everyone else did something way cooler? What if no one likes you anymore? Now I have a new question, does everyone worry about that stuff? I’m still going around and around in circles when I get to the quarry. I just kind of stand there staring at this rock cliff. I haven’t been here since I found copper, which is still in the wolf trap.

  I was going to make a water wheel and have electricity. I basically gave up on that after Morrigan visited me. Or maybe it was after that dream that made me go find the cave with a snake in it. I’m not sure what my plan would have been after that though, I doubt I could make glass anytime soon so lightbulbs are out. Maybe I just wanted it because it felt strange not to have it. Marie, you’re stalling.

  “And talking to yourself.” I laugh at that a little and get to work. I build up some rocks and put my pot on top. I make it tall enough that I can stack firewood underneath and use mana to make a fire. I pull over a big flat rock to set my ingredients on and start getting them ready. I chop up some bear fat and put it in the bottom with some water. The butterfly wings are huge so I just take some from each wing (because it says wings) and add it in. I make a mana spoon and start stirring it. Berries and mushrooms are next, and strangely it smells kind of good. I take the wolf heart and slice it up before throwing it in. The eye and the feather go in whole.

  The wind blows and it makes me shiver. There’s goosebumps on my arm. I don’t have any idea how long this will take or exactly when to stop. I hope I’m not about to mess this up, “Morrigan show me the way,” I say, still stirring. There’s no flash of light or music or anything, instead I just knew what I was doing. I’m making some kind of paint. I keep stirring as the moon gets higher in the sky, super focused on the pot. Eventually the liquid is almost gone and I pull it off the fire while still stirring. I set it down and let it cool.

  Impatient I cast water magic around it which turns into steam. I still wait a bit before reaching in though. Ugh, I don’t like how it feels, it makes my tongue itch and I rub it against the top of my mouth. I know I’m making a face as I draw a big rectangle, as high as I can reach all the way to the ground. I add the runes outside, I hope there’s enough to do all this. In the middle I start making the triangle with swirlies from the paper on the side of the cliff. It doesn’t take long to get the shape and as I’m trying to make it look as good as on the paper it starts getting hot. OK I guess that’s good enough.

  Next part, Uh…”Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid, Morrigan give me your aid!” I should have asked her how to ask for aid. Next time someone wants me to do a spell I’m asking a million questions. At least.

  The rectangle and runes and triangle start getting brighter, like Christmas lights. Then the inside of the circle goes completely black, like, darker than anything I’ve ever seen. Like a black hole or something. The darkness starts fading away and suddenly I’m staring at a guy about my height but also as wide as we are tall. His skin is a dark grey, hair as black as the rectangle just was and a beard down to his knees. His clothes are kind of like mine but dark blue and he has a pickaxe slung over his shoulder.

  “Hey there youngin’,” he said in a low voice, “could you point me to the one who opened this here portal?”

  Before I could answer him someone else walked into the doorway. This one was tall and skinny, his face and hair somehow darker than the first guy. He had a sword on his hip and his clothes were a really dark red.

  “What did you find out here, Brede?” The new man asked. “Oh hey there girlie what are you doing out so la-” He stopped talking and his eyes got real wide. “Wha- What are you?”