I couldn’t focus on any of my classes, that dark cloudy feeling didn’t fade; and it was beginning to give me a headache. The pain was focused to the back of my neck and my temples. I let out a heavy sigh then felt a nudge from Geo, a friend I made in my freshman year.

  “What is wrong with you?” Geo whispered with a furrowed eyebrow; his voice was deep enough that the people around us would glance our way.

  “I’m getting a headache,” I replied quietly while rubbing my temples.

  “I’ll email you my notes, you’re lucky it’s only the first day of classes,” Geo replied softly, returning his attention back to the class. I rolled my eyes, I’m lucky that almost all my classes are supplementary. The sound of the professor’s voice was so dull and dry that the last 15 minutes of our class felt like it dragged on for hours.

  “Are you going to see Professor Yates?” Geo asked me as people began to leave the class.

  “...yeah.”

  “Rough,” Geo smirked, “makes me happy I don’t write novels.”

  “Ahhh, yeah yeah,” I said as we left the classroom. “What about you? How is the… what was it? Chapbook? Omnibus?”

  “Chapbook,” Geo answered firmly. “Professor Yates thinks it has good potential but thinks I should go through a publishing company.”

  “Then it wouldn’t be a chapbook,” I laughed loudly.

  “Dude, after I saw what you went through two years ago; I don’t think I’d be able to go through with working with a publishing company.” Geo scratched the back of his neck as he explained.

  “It wasn’t that bad,” I shrugged. Honestly… it could have been worse but that’s not something I’ll tell Geo. “Do what you want to do, if you don’t want to publish through a company then don’t.”

  “Shouldn’t you take your own advice?” Geo gave me a slight smile. Annoyance boiled up in me, Geo wasn’t one to smile. When he did, well… It was always when people made fools of themselves.

  I shoved Geo away from me, “shut up and go to your next class.”

  “Oh, are you done for today?” Geo asked curiously.

  “Yeah, I decided to take all morning classes this semester,” I said, feeling a pressure behind my eyes. I heard a stifled laugh from Geo. When I looked at him he was covering his mouth, trying desperately to stop himself from laughing aloud. “I feel like I lost some brain cells recently. Why did I think that was going to be a good idea?”

  “I mean…” Geo tilted his head up. “It’s not the worst idea, you get all your classes done by lunch time.”

  I looked at my phone, “I have to go meet with Professor Yates now so I can make it on time for lunch with Yoni. Don’t forget to email me the notes!” I called out as we parted ways. I sped walked to the Professor’s office, I wanted to get this done as soon as possible. The professor had a knack for pointing out all the worries I have with my writing; that had to be a good thing right? When I finally appeared in front of his office’s door, it was slightly opened so I knocked lightly.

  “Come in,” the old man’s hoarse voice called out. When I walked in Professor Yates looked at me and pulled off his glasses. “Ah, Mr. Lee. Thank you for visiting me, can you close the door?” I nodded and closed the door behind me before taking a seat in front of his desk. His office smelt like mold and old coffee, it made me dizzy and sick.

  “Now tell me, how is the draft for the sequel coming along?” Professor Yates asked with a hint of kindness to his voice.

  I hesitated, because I honestly don’t know how to tell him I was hit with a major writer’s block and haven’t written anything since spring. I twiddled my thumbs in my lap as I searched for an answer through my mind. Like my writing it was filled with nothing, I let out a heavy sigh and threw my head down in defeat. “I haven’t been able to write all summer.” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, Professor Yates is a crazy old man but I still have a lot of respect for him as a writer and teacher.

  “Mr. Lee, look at me,” he said softly. When I looked at him, he wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t frowning. He wasn’t concerned, mad, or exhausted, a look of indifference was expressed through his face and voice. “Do you think you’re the first person to approach writer’s block? We’ve discussed it before in class, have you tried any of those approaches to help with your writer’s block?”

  It took everything in me not to yell at this bastard, I inhaled so deeply before replying, “yes, I tried nearly everything.” I held back a sigh by rubbing my fingers together, the pain behind my neck throbbed and ached to the point where I felt weak.

  “Sounds like you’ve cooped up in your place all summer,” Professor Yates said with a tilt to his head.

  “Uh,” I scratched my head, ”yeah.”

  “Haha!” He laughed, “Mr. Lee. You’re not an old man - hell, you’re barely an adult.” I felt myself pout but didn’t argue. “One of the best ways to clear your mind is to spend time with friends and family. Go out and have fun. Being cooped up at home isn't good for writers' block. I know you have a date for when the book has to be published but remember to have fun. This is your last year of college, enjoy it.” He haphazardly waved his hand at me, “we will meet again but for now go relax a little bit. A 23-year-old shouldn’t be this stressed out and overworked already.”

  I stood up and left the room without another word, I could feel my legs moving and heading for the college’s cafeteria but my head felt like it was in space. “Ugh,” I let out, the light was becoming too much. The cafeteria was loud and bright, my eyes felt like they were burning and the smell of food made me nauseous. Eating was definitely out of the question, so I took a seat waiting for Yoni.

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  “Yo!” Yoni called out as he took a seat next to me, he had picked up soft tacos, rice, beans, and a soda. He looked at the empty table in front of me, “what the heck. Why didn’t you get any food?” He sat down and took a drink of his soda. “Dude, what is wrong with you? You’re pale as fuck.”

  “Do you have any sunglasses?” I asked and Yoni responded with a nod then grabbed his sunglasses from his backpack handing them to me. “Thank you.”

  “Go home and sleep,” Yoni almost growled as he looked at me sternly. “I’m not taking you to urgent care again, for not taking care of your migraines.”

  “I’m fine, this isn’t a migraine,” I refuted. “I’m going home anyways.” Suddenly a tray of food was set down on another side of the table, it was my roommate James.

  “Ayo! “ Yoni greeted James happily. “How’s your first day of classes?”

  “It’s, ‘ight.” James shrugged, “school is school.”

  “Okay…” Yoni replied with an annoyed expression. “Then how’s the old lady? Did she finally figure out you’re human garbage and break up with you?” Both Yoni and I snickered.

  “Ha. Ha.” James let out then he turned to look at me. “I actually have something to tell you.”

  I knew it, this is it isn’t? The bad feeling I’ve had all day?

  “What is it?”

  “So…” he dragged out with a guilty smile. “Kalina and I are planning to move in together at the end of the month.” He laughed uncomfortably in front of me until my silence felt heavy in the air. Are you fucking kidding me? I thought it’d be something stupid. But this? At the beginning of a school semester? Who the fuck is going to be looking for a roommate?

  “Did you guys already find a place?” I asked with no tone to my voice.

  “Yeah… we wanted to make sure we got our applications approved before telling you but they wanted us to move in by the end of the month…” James began to laugh uncomfortably again, “I guess I really lucked out that our lease is month to month, right?” A look of pained grimace spread across Yoni’s face as he stared at James, Yoni met my eyes and then looked away.

  “Look, I’m really sorry this is so sudden,” James frowned. “I can cover my part of rent for this month and the next so you have some time to look for a new roommate.”

  I sat for a moment, thinking how to respond to the situation without conflict. Judging by the look on James’s face, my gaze must have been cold . “You don’t need to be sorry. You’re moving in with your girlfriend, that’s something to be happy about.”

  “Thank you!!” James replied happily with a huge smile, he looked at his phone then back to Yoni and myself. “I have to go, I guess Kalina rear-ended someone.” James said quietly, looking as if he were at a loss for words.

  “Have fun!” Yoni chuckled and it was met with an eye roll from James. “I have no idea how you lived with that guy for so long.” Yoni said as James left our sight.

  “He’s a good roommate and not a bad person,” I said carelessly. I don’t dislike him but I don’t like him either. James in my eyes, has always existed as my roommate only. I have no doubt in my mind I won’t ever talk to him again after he moves out.

  “Psh,” Yoni rolled his eyes. “If you need help finding a roommate I can help. I know you need to save money for your move next year.”

  “I will definitely take your help,” I smiled. As hyper-active as Yoni is, he is one of the best friends I’ve made. “Dipping into my savings wouldn’t be great. I’d prefer not to live with my entire family in Korea when I move.”

  “Isn’t that… like a cultural thing in Korean households?”

  “Yeah but I’ve been living on my own for too long to have to live with 12 different people. Some of which I haven’t met before.”

  “Jesus, how big is your family house?”

  I paused, conjuring up old memories of the house I’d visit during the summers in Korea. “Yeah. It’s pretty big, but it’s also pretty far from the city.” I shrugged, “either way I want to live in the city, and in my own place.”

  “Fair enough!” Yoni shrugged happily, “you should get going if your headache is getting worse.”

  “I-” I stopped. “Fuck, I need to go to the library and check out some books.”

  “Go home,” Yoni frowned. “You can go tomorrow.”

  “No, I need to do it today,” I groaned. I stood up from my seat and grabbed my bag. “If I go now I can get home earlier.”

  “You better not stay there!” Yoni yelled as I walked away. Yoni’s right but I can’t even promise myself I won’t stay there for very long. My favorite thing about the library was the smell of books. Ever since I was a kid, the smell put me at ease.

  I shouldn’t have to stay for too long but I’m searching for fantasy books I haven’t read yet. If I look at different approaches for plot, maybe it will help with the writer’s block. I finally arrived at the library and was met with a smile and wave from the head of the library; the last four years I’ve spent more time here than at my own home. The library was emptier at the beginning of the year, people were too focused on friends and starting classes to start studying yet. The sound of my footsteps echoed through the room as I passed by bookshelves, searching for the genre was the easiest part. But when I found myself in the fantasy section it suddenly felt like I didn’t remember anything… at all.

  Why am I here again? What was I looking for specifically? Did I have any authors in mind? I hate when this happens.

  “Fuck,” I mumbled to myself. My eyes scanned the different books, searching for titles and authors I’ve never heard of. Then a book with a red spine caught my eye, it looked familiar. When I pulled the book from the shelf the title read: ‘House of Violet by Avery Gilson’. Behind the title was the silhouette of a mansion surrounded by gates, dead trees, and headstones.

  “This looks like a horror book, why is it in the fantasy section?” I muttered but the part that really stumped my mind was how familiar the book looked. I’ve seen this book before, but where? Reading the summary of the book made it feel that it was definitely in the wrong section. Parts of the lore hinted at fantasy aspects but the story seemed to have revolved around a house of horrors. When I opened the book, I was surprised to see that the publishing date was from the late 1940’s.

  “What are you looking at, Roan?” a voice called out, it was the head of the library.

  “Uh, ‘House of Violet’, have you read this?”

  “Yes,” she nodded. “It’s quite an old book but it seems to have only caught the eye of a small community.”

  “Why?”

  “The book covers many different aspects of religion, the good and bad. Writing such controversy is either met with extreme hate or ignored altogether,” she explained quietly.

  “Why is it in the fantasy section? Wouldn’t it be more fitting in the Religious section?”

  “You have to read it,” she smiled. “Then you’ll know why. Let me know when you’re ready to check out books.” I nodded as she walked away with a warm smile on her face. I stared at the book, it was bothering me, where have I seen this before? The question festered in my mind until I got home, it finally hit me when I fell onto my bed.

  I saw Elijah reading it in high school.