I awoke to the growling of my stomach. My body felt as if it had been trampled in a stampede. I hadn’t moved from the position I had fallen asleep in. My body was obviously grateful to have had a full rest in the comfort of my bed if I had slept so soundly.

  The sunrise trickled in pink and orange light through my tall windows, evidence that Maddie must have opened the curtains before I awoke.

  Despite it having been three days since the raid, I still felt the urge to wake early and assist the townspeople in any way I could. It kept my mind busy, distracting me from the dark questions I kept asking myself of Damien.

  How could there be no word of him? My father, who had returned last night along with Ares’ uncle Axar; he believed Damien had gone on ahead of them, and was safely back. So, it wasn’t just me who was worried; Ares and Maddie were also growing concerned for him. And honestly, they were growing more concerned for me, too.

  I promised myself that if I didn’t receive word by today, I would march to the lower lands myself to find him.

  My father attempted to comfort me with the possibility that Damien could be out searching for people in the forests who fled from the dragons. Damien, being a healer by specialty, had a duty to stay out and help. And I found myself clinging to that hope.

  I gasped when I realized I hadn’t heard the baby cry at all last night and sat up straight. The sudden movement caused my muscles to scream in protest. I looked around and saw that the baby was gone, and so was Ares. Panic gripped me as I scanned my room for any sign of where and why they might have gone. Nothing. Everything was in its place. I ripped off the covers and jumped out of bed. Ares had been sleeping in my room on my sofa, taking turns with me to care for the baby during the long nights.

  I set a hand to my pounding heart, willing it to calm. Ares must have taken the baby out earlier so I could get more sleep.

  Now, there was so much to do, and no time to waste. I swept over to a small basin of water and washed my face before braiding my hair and tying a scarf around my head to keep the short hairs from straying. I put on a simple skirt and blouse - I knew my clothes would be dirty by the end of the day.

  Finally ready, I stepped into the hallway outside my chambers and looked down both ways. No one. I rounded a corner and noticed servants taking new and old supplies to their destinations. I began to walk towards them, intending to inquire if they had seen Ares or the baby at all, when a handsome man walked out of my father’s office.

  “Damien,” I gasped, and immediately sprinted towards him.

  He did a double take when he saw me, relief flooding his expression. He ran to meet me halfway, and I smiled and cried as we embraced.

  “I was just coming to check on you,” Damien nuzzled his face into my neck, swaying us side to side.

  “I was so worried about you; when did you get back?” I cried into his shoulder, gripping his shirt in hopes it would bring me closer to him.

  “Around midnight. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice breaking. “I should have handled our goodbyes better; I should have-“

  I pulled away from him, taking his face in my hands and planting a kiss on his lips.

  Damien sighed, and I could feel the tension leave his body as his hand cupped the back of my head to keep me there.

  “Guess you will have to make up for it,” I whispered on his lips, laughing lightly.

  He met my mouth again, this time picking me up off the ground as he kissed me. “I’m more than willing to make that sacrifice,” Damien smiled, resting his forehead against mine. A series of slow thoughtful pecks followed.

  “Are you hurt? You seem fine,” I asked, pulling away to study his face.

  “Just a few scratches. I’ve been told I’ll live.” He set me down on my feet once more, kissing me again.

  “Did you lose anyone?”

  Damien’s hands moved from my waist to my upper arms and sighed once again. “Half the militia that guarded the lower lands. But none of the men sent after the alarm was raised.”

  I nodded again, smoothing my hands over his chest, beyond grateful to feel his heartbeat and warmth under my palms. If he had died, I would have lost my best friend, my everything. I had known him my whole life, and the thought of any danger causing his last breath was unbearable.

  The beautiful future we both dreamed about together always felt a little hazy with his line of work. Damien was exceptional at what he did, fighting dragons and other magical creatures. He was smart, strong, and brave; but becoming a part of the Iron Vow meant he would have to confront death constantly. It was risky. Not a day went by that I didn’t wonder if I’d see him again.

  Right now, I was grateful, utterly grateful to be in his arms, to talk to him, to hold him, to laugh with him. Moments like this, I would never take for granted again.

  I pushed a lock of his white-blonde hair back, his pretty eyes holding mine with such care and admiration. I felt like the only girl in the world in that moment.

  Damien leaned into my touch and kissed my palm. “How have you been? I was worried about you too,” Damien pulled me in more tightly against him, a comforting gesture.

  “It never gets any easier…” I sighed, not directly answering him.

  He glanced up at a servant that walked by, his arm holding me in place, knowing physical touch from him always helped relax me.

  “No, it doesn’t,” Damien said softly. “You just get better at hiding it.”

  “How do you get through it? I can hardly look at my hands; I feel like I can still see them covered in blood,” my throat tightened. “And the screams- I…” I gripped a handful of his shirt for stability.

  “I cry. I cry about it. I walk through the valley and let it have its turn to take over. I’ve learned that bottling it up makes it all hurt worse, and for much longer. Then, once it’s all out and run its course, I pick up the pieces and keep moving.” Damien wiped the tear that snuck its way down my cheek.

  “I feel like I can’t breathe,” my broken heart pounded against my ribs, begging me to unleash it.

  “Hey, look at me,” he said softly, and I listened. “I’ve got you, I’m here.”

  My lower lip trembled, and the flood gates ripped open. I buried my face into his chest, trying to stifle the wails that I had caged within me. I sobbed and let every ounce of my heart spill over.

  Every broken bone, every burn, every person I had to hold down, every tear and scream shed the night of the raid flashed through my mind in sequence. The frightened children asking for their parents, the many bodies I covered, and the eyes I had to close… I succumbed to the tsunami of sadness, anger, and anxiety and let it wash over me.

  “Let the rain pour; it helps the flowers grow,” Damien said as his lips met the top of my head and stayed there as I cried.

  I loved this man with every fiber of my being, and I prayed fate would never take him from me.

  After a minute or two, to my surprise, the ache to cry lifted, and the burden lighter upon my heart.

  I hiccupped and finally pulled my face away from Damien’s body. A spot on his cotton shirt soaked in my tears.

  He took that opportunity to reach back into his trouser pocket and pull out a handkerchief, handing it to me.

  I wiped my eyes first, then my runny nose. “Thank you,” I said between shallow breaths.

  Damien mustered a sad smile in response and smoothed back my hair from my face.

  “Sorry about your shirt-”

  He shushed me. “It’s fine,” Damien smiled, kissing my cheek. “It’s just a shirt. I’m not a baby.”

  I gasped a little. I had completely forgotten about Eli. I had to find out if he had been displaced or reunited with his parents. My heart sank, yet held together with hope that someone was there for him. If no one was, I wanted to adopt him.

  “Have you heard anything about the kids brought here?” I asked.

  “As far as I know, a lot of kids got to be reunited with relatives. In fact, it’s all been taken care of. Axar helped wipe some memories, and everyone is safe. You can rest easy,” he took my hand in his.

  I breathed a sigh of relief at that. I wished I could forget some of the things I witnessed. Except as future Queen, I didn’t get that luxury. I had to remember for the sake of my people.

  “Maybe after some food, you’ll feel a little better, hm?” He rubbed my back.

  My stomach growled at the mere mention. I hadn’t had much of an appetite these last few days. The carnage and death I witnessed did a number on me mentally. I was grateful that I felt the need to eat.

  After a light breakfast with Damien, we were told we were not needed at the moment. With help from Axar and Ares’ potions and spells, people were able to heal enough to be taken to temporary shelters outside of the castle grounds.

  Like Damien had said, most of the kids had been retrieved by their relatives, and the others sent to the orphanage.

  The moment I heard that, I knew I needed to find Ares and Eli. I would like to think Ares would let me say goodbye to him at least before sending him where he needed to go.

  Damien and I strode outside, hand in hand, to Ares’ place east of the castle.

  “So why are we trying to find Ares?” Damien asked.

  “A baby had been brought to the castle after the attacks. He was alone, and Ares and I have been watching him the last few days,” I told him.

  “Oh, I see. And Ares should have him then?” Damien continued.

  I nodded, beaming up at him, so excited for Damien to meet him. “I’ve been calling him Eli. If no one claims him, I think… I might.”

  Damien stopped us in our tracks, turned me towards him by my shoulders and studied my face under an intense gaze. “Jade…” he raised an eyebrow.

  “I know, I know! It’s crazy,” I laughed slightly.

  His eyebrow raised further. “You want to keep him? Do you have time to take care of a whole other human being?”

  “I know it’s a lot, but... I can’t explain it, Damien… This baby is so sweet, and we immediately connected,” I gripped a handful of his shirt, “I love him, and I want to give him a good life if he is not claimed.”

  Damien adjusted his stance. “Don’t get me wrong, okay? But are you sure this isn’t just your grief talking? This isn’t a new puppy, it’s a whole human being."

  I considered his words for a moment. “I’ve tried explaining it away. Cross my heart! But Ares will tell you the same thing. Damien, I wanted to run it by you first.”

  “Yes, please. Because… I would most definitely like to be included in that decision… since…” Damien smirked.

  “Since?” I bit my lip lightly and looked at him expectantly.

  “Since I want to be your husband one day…” he blushed, a small laugh escaping. “Id do anything if I could to make that happen.”

  I blushed every time we talked about getting married. “What are your concerns?” I asked, nodding in acknowledgment to a person walking by.

  “Well, for one, you are only twenty four years old, and I haven’t finished my Iron Vow Knight training. You don’t know how busy and complicated things will get when you become queen. And we will both be very busy by the summer.”

  “You’re right,” I reluctantly agreed.

  Damien chuckled. “Secondly, this will be our child. Are we ready to be parents? I haven’t even officially asked you to marry me.”

  “He will be mine, and yours if you choose to take him on. I don’t know what the future holds, Damien. All I know is that I love that child, and I don’t want to him to go to anyone else.”

  Damien fixed his stance again, sighing and pulling me close to him. “I’m worried you are rushing into things is all. Who is to say he can’t find a great family? I know you love him, but-”

  “Come and see him,” I interrupted, pulling on his hand, walking backward up the path. “I promise you will understand when you see him.”

  Damien succumbed to my puppy dog eyes and followed me to Ares’s cottage.

  I knocked on the wooden door, and Ares’ voice sounded for us to enter. I turned the knob and pushed it open, looking around and spotting Ares by the floor-to-ceiling window. To my relief, he had Eli in his arms.

  “Jade, watch this!” Ares said excitedly, placing a large yellow gem in Eli’s hand.

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  Eli wrapped his little fingers around it. And with a wave of his little arm, wind blew books off the shelf nearby.

  “He’s a master! So much mana in his tiny little body!” Ares said joyously.

  I rolled my eyes and laughed.

  “So Ares does love him,” Damien said with some incredulity evident in his tone as he walked farther into the room.

  “I was worried you left without a goodbye,” I said, moving to stand beside Ares.

  “He woke up early, and I didn’t want to wake you. So, I brought him here. Sorry, I should have left a note.”

  I held my arms out in a gesture that asked to hold the babe, and Ares obliged by handing him to me. “Why hello,” I cooed as Eli looked at me, an instant smile emerging, his bright eyes beaming like sunlight.

  I gently cradled Eli as I walked over to Damien and stopped in front of him. “This is Eli,” I said nervously, hoping I wasn’t in over my head about all of this. Damien’s opinion meant the most to me; especially about this.

  He looked at me and let out a soft sigh. “Give him here,” Damien motioned with his hands to hold him.

  I raised both of my eyebrows in surprise.

  “We ought to get acquainted since I’m in this mess now, too,” Damien chuckled as I handed him Eli. Instead of cradling him, Damien picked him up under his arms, using his long fingers to support his head, and finally placed the baby on his chest and shoulder.

  I had to blink myself out of gawking at the attractive sight. Seeing the very handsome love of my life hold a tiny baby was making my stomach fill with butterflies.

  “You okay, Princess? You look flushed,” Ares asked, now standing next to me.

  I laughed airily and smoothed my dress, exchanging teasing smiles with both Ares and Damien.

  Baby Eli sneezed cutely, making Damien instantly melt, a pouty lip to match. “I’ll take eight more,” Damien said with a wink at me.

  “Eight?” My jaw nearly hit the floor.

  “Too low?” he joked.

  “Change a few diapers, and then tell me how many you want,” I said shaking my head in disbelief.

  “I’m not afraid,” Damien said.

  “You should be,” Ares laughed.

  We spent some time with Ares and Eli, until I was called to help make arrangements for tomorrow’s trip to the lower lands.

  Once those plans were finalized, I soaked in the bathtub, taking time to scrub every inch of my body. I scolded myself for the brutal thoughts entering my mind. I still felt guilty and stained red. I knew it would be a long time before bathing felt comfortable.

  Thoughts of the raid as I sat in the tub continued to fill it, despite my best efforts to banish them. Everything I knew about dragons told me they were ruthless, greedy and malicious. Horrid creatures of pain and devastation. Yet I felt guilty; humans hunted them for their hordes of treasure, for the mere thrill of the sport; and here my kingdom was acting like we didn’t deserve the malice.

  The woman from the night the fire dragons invaded haunted me; I felt the anger hot like the water I buried myself in. It had to stop. All of this had to stop.

  Since meeting that lightning dragon years ago, I knew. I knew all of this was a mistake. And all it boiled down to was unchecked greed and pride.

  But if dragons were vicious creatures, why did that one lightning type spare me? Me of all people! I was practically a symbol of everything they hated as the crowned princess of Elsinora.

  I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Sometimes I wished I could remove my brain and wring the stress from it like a soiled rag.

  After the bath, I dressed simply again with no jewelry or fancy hair. I twisted my hair into just a long simple braid. Damien met me at my bedroom door and escorted me to the dining room, where he sat next to me. It wasn’t usual for him to assume his seat next to mine, but I was especially grateful for his steadying presence beside me this evening.

  Ares, my father, mother, and Ellis (my father’s right hand), sat along the table, quietly shoveling the roast and potatoes.

  Captain Lionel (the head of the Iron Vow, and Damien’s father) and Axar ventured to the farmlands to help tie up loose ends and supply support for the people there before we traveled down in the morning.

  Ares sat on the other side of me, his demeanor quiet and solemn. Not that I expected him to be his funny self in front of all the others, but I hoped his energy would be restored by the rest and food after caring for Eli.

  “Where’s the baby?” I asked him under the hum of conversation at the table.

  “Sleeping in my room; a maid is with him.”

  “So, no one has come to claim him still?”

  Ares shook his head as he filled his mouth with golden roasted potatoes. “I've asked anyone and everyone. I’ve even sent out fliers to the lower towns. Its been crickets ever since.”

  “Oh…” was all I said. That sadness crept in again, knowing Eli was alone, no blood to call his.

  “I guess he’s looking for a home.” Ares smirked and took another bite.

  “I think I want to take him as my ward,” I said.

  “My dear, that’s very sweet of you,” my mother chimed in.

  My eyes shot to hers in surprise. I didn’t know she had heard me.

  “He seemed very attached to you. He wouldn’t stop crying in my arms until he was in yours,” my mother giggled.

  “If you weren’t, I was going to take him on as a mage apprentice,” Ares shrugged.

  I shot a knowing smile at Ares for that comment. Then I sobered and once again met my mother’s gaze. “I was thinking about it; but I wanted to run it by you and Father before I made any decision.”

  “I think it’s great; I’ll teach him sword fighting,” Damien reached over and gave my knee an encouraging squeeze.

  I couldn’t believe my ears, I felt my face flush and my heart flutter with hope.

  “It’s a horrible idea,” Ellis’s nasally voice chimed in. “You have been spoken for-”

  I looked to my father; a little flare of hope flickered within me. “Has Damien said something?” I asked. I glanced at Damien, but he seemed as genuinely confused as I was. A pit began to form in my stomach.

  My father hefted a heavy exhale, and picked up a napkin to wipe at the corners of his mouth. “King Archibald of Thule has asked for your hand in marriage,” my father said, refusing eye contact with me.

  I blinked. The blood drained from my cheeks, and I felt my vision sway precariously.

  I gathered myself up as best I could, and kept my sight fixed on my father. “I-I refuse him,” I said flatly.

  I glanced at my mother, seeking her support. Her expression was scared. She never truly spoke up against my father; in the end, he always got the final word, dooming me to whatever fit in his best interest.

  “Jade, it’s not that simple,” my father continued.

  “And why not?” I straightened my spine, and clenched my jaw against my simmering anger.

  “Archibald has threatened to wage war if you do not accept him,” Ellis said matter-of-factly.

  No… This couldn’t be happening.

  I glared at him; something I did often. I always tried to treat everyone with kindness, despite difference in appearance, class, age. But Ellis always rubbed me the wrong way. He often got me in trouble as a child for the simplest things, and I hated being in trouble. Feeling guilty came very naturally to me, so I never needed his help with that.

  I looked around at all of their faces, too stunned to gather my thoughts properly.

  Damien set his fork down, a muscle flickered against his jaw. “War? Really? He can’t just get over it? Surely, he understands that Jade is mine, and is spoken for-”

  “Archibald really doesn’t care,” Ellis retorted mockingly.

  “I don’t understand…” I whispered, more to myself than to anyone else. My mind brought me back to when I was sixteen, and Archibald visited for the first time in a decade. I had known to welcome him with a warm smile, and a deep curtsy. And I did exactly that as he had approached me. I laughed at his jokes, showed him the art my grandmother had painted and told him each story behind them. I showed him the grounds, the library, the stables. After all, he was there to make an important trade with my father; my kingdom was rich with knowledge on dragons, and Archibald had a reoccurring drake problem. More importantly, it was no secret that Archibald’s pockets were seemingly lined with gold. So, I was supposed to make his visit, a good experience. And I had. For my father, I had...

  Looking back at it now, I remembered trying to dismiss my discomfort as Archibald’s eyes lingered on my every move. He always sat across from me at every meal, and sought me out to request my hand for nearly every dance at the party we hosted.

  I later discovered he asked far too personal questions about me from my personal servants when I wasn’t around, like if my bleeding was regular, or if I was still “whole”. I winced at that.

  Ares’ hand came to mine under the table, gently pulling me back to reality.

  I looked at him through forming tears. He didn’t need to say anything; his solemn expression said it all.

  “She did this to herself,” Ellis said. “This is the natural consequence after she very clearly accepted his attentions. Perhaps she should have been more careful... More guarded.”

  Damien’s fingers clenched around the edge of the table, “You might wish you had been more guarded when you’re six feet underground.” Damien’s tone of voice was threatening, and he turned his icy stare on Ellis.

  My heart seemed to skip a beat, and my mouth ran dry. Was that true? Was Ellis right about me having led the king on?

  Ares’ hand tightened around mine.

  Ellis sat, unbothered by Damien’s fury and continued to speak around a mouthful of food. “She was wholly inviting to his attentions at every turn. Everyone could see it, and I imagine you had been there as well. Perhaps you aren’t as sharp-eyed as others claim...” He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “I mean, it was obvious she saw a powerful man and used her beauty to snare him. As I said, this is the natural consequence of such actions.” he chuckled dismissively, forking another piece of roast into his mouth.

  Damien stood, quickly unsheathing his sword and pointing it straight at Ellis. The tip was an inch from his long pointy nose.

  Ellis irritatingly sat unperturbed, and cocked his head lightly to one side.

  “Damien,” my father said in a warning voice.

  Blind fire burned wildly in Damien’s eyes. He was trained to kill; Ellis was lucky he had also been trained in careful self-command.

  “Let’s see how poorly you talk after I rip your throat out,” Damien said through gritted teeth.

  “Damien!” my father roared, slamming his fist against the table.

  My mother squeaked and covered her mouth with a slight hand.

  Damien didn’t flinch.

  Ares let go of my hand and made a counterclockwise swirling motion with his. A black fog began to form around his fingers. He mumbled something under his breath, and Ellis began to choke.

  I watched in horror as Ellis clawed at his throat for breath, when suddenly a light flew out of Ellis’ mouth and drifted into Ares’ hand.

  Ellis fell back against his chair, shocked. He tried to speak, but no words or sound came out.

  Ares had taken his voice.

  “You can have this back when… I feel like it,” Ares smiled in mock friendliness, taking the glimmering light and tucking it into his vest pocket.

  Ellis was still trying to talk, his face growing purple with effort.

  My father sighed, “Get out.” And he gestured for Ellis to leave.

  Ellis, in the best portrayal of a child throwing a tantrum he could muster, pushed out his chair and tossed his napkin to his plate before storming out, slamming the door behind him.

  “I was just being kind, I don’t—” I couldn’t complete my sentence, wondering if I even needed to defend myself.

  “That is beside the point.” My father rubbed at his temples his with forefingers tiredly. “You have to marry him; we don’t have a choice now. With the dragon raids, loss of men and crops… Our chances of winning any war are growing unnervingly slim.”

  What they were all saying was that I had no choice in the matter. They were telling me that there would be no marriage to Damien, no more Elsinora, no Eli...

  “But…” I opened my mouth to speak, but no words surfaced. At that moment, none felt sufficient.

  “Your marriage to Archibald is essential for the future of Elsinora,” my father said. “Due to our vulnerable state, decisions needed to be made that will benefit all our people and lands quickly. Thankfully, Archibald is gracious enough to give you until Spring to get things settled here.”

  “Father, you can’t do this!” I whispered severely, tears stinging my eyes. “Archibald is old enough to be your father. And his kingdom is—“

  “It’s wealthy, and his army outnumbers ours at the moment. For Elsinora, it is your duty to keep the peace. We will not speak of this further. As I said, decisions have been made,” my father replied, growing angry himself. “Your confirmation has already been sent.”

  “But Father, you’ve seen the letters he has written to me. That disgusting man just wants to—“

  “Enough!” Another clash of his fist to the table, making the plates jump. “You will do as you are told, Stop being so selfish!” his commanding voiced ricocheted off the stone walls around us.

  I shrunk into my seat, bowing my head submissively. The room was dead silent, besides my sniffling as I tried to remain composed.

  I couldn’t believe it. None of it. I had never envisioned myself with anyone other than Damien. We spent our every chance together, our thoughts, our dreams...My whole life. He is my best friend, my everything. And I’m just supposed to give him up? As if the raids hadn’t done enough to me physically, I felt a new headache coming on.

  “May I be excused?” I said numbly, staring mindlessly at my plate.

  “Jade, sweetie,” my mother said, her empathetic voice carrying the sound of worry to my ears.

  “Please…” I flicked my eyes up to hers.

  My mom looked on the verge of tears herself when I met her gaze. “Yes…” she squeaked.

  I sat up before a servant could pull out my chair; its legs grinding loudly across the floor. I walked out calmly, my head held high as I am sure they all watched me leave. The sound of another chair scraped across the floor, and footsteps followed as I exited.

  I hurried through the cold stone castle, my feet mindlessly taking me through never-ending, moon and torch-lit halls to my chambers. Tears seared my vision, and my heart felt like a bird caged, its wings clipped and captive in iron walls. I couldn’t let it go. I had to make it to my room; my place of solace, where I could cry unapologetically.

  “Jade.”

  I slowed my hasty walk and looked over my shoulder to find Damien a few paces behind me. I let him catch up, and attempted to swallow the knot in my throat. “Yes?”

  “I want to make sure you are okay,” he said, taking my hand in his.

  I gripped it like it was my only anchor in a rough sea. I was glad he had followed me. “I’m not,” I smirked, a tear rolling down my cheek.

  “Neither am I,” Damien smoothed a thumb over my knuckles, the familiar light in his eyes replaced with sorrow. I had rarely ever seen them like that.

  “Will you stay with me?” I sniffed. “I know we shouldn’t be alone in my room, but—”

  Damien nodded softly as a reply. “I think we’ve earned and deserve some alone time.”

  I looked both ways down the hall where my bedroom sat. No one was around, not even the guards usually stationed at my door. I gave Damien’s hand a squeeze as I led him in and closed the door behind us, locking it.

  “I’m sorry about Ellis. I couldn’t let him continue. I’m sorry about all of it. I don’t understand it.” He tilted his head back and gave a short laugh without mirth. “It is disgusting that King Archibald – at his ripe age – should go after someone who could easily be his granddaughter,” he said.

  “Maybe it makes him feel young,” I said, releasing his hand and walking to my dressing screen while undoing the ties on the bodice of my clothes. I adored corsets, but right now, I felt I was suffocating. “I am merely a pretty, innocent object that I know he fantasizes about ruining, not to mention I'm sure that curse on him is getting heavier by the minute.” I winced at my own words.

  “Jade-” Damien said, a little surprised as I undressed slightly.

  “Please, don’t,” I snapped at him softly. “Right now, I don’t care.” Once behind the screen, I stepped out my dress and draped it over the side of screen. In turn, I pulled on my nightdress so I wouldn’t be completely indecent.

  “I’m not protesting,” Damien gave an airy chuckle. “I just wanted to make sure you remembered I was in the room, is all.”

  I walked out, pulled out the tie that held my hair in a braid, and ventured to my vanity for my hairbrush.

  Damien walked over and gently took the brush out of my hand. “Let me,” he said softly.

  I didn’t fight him.

  Damien removed his shoes and set aside his sword, then escorted me to my bed. He took his place leaning against the headboard for support while I took my place between his legs. He carefully divided my hair and brushed out every tangle, his fingertips occasionally smoothing over my neck and ears.

  “Why is this happening to us?” I asked softly.

  He was silent for a long moment, stroking my long dark hair.

  I messed with the dry skin around my nails, which had become so dry from all the scrubbing and washing I had been doing. The blood just never seemed to wash off; I still felt it, smelled it, saw it.

  Damien sighed, focused on a knot at the ends of my hair. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  I dropped my shoulders a little. I didn’t want to lose him either. But it was him or the kingdom, and I couldn’t sacrifice them to war with Thule. Maybe I could visit Thule and absolutely ruin Archibald’s thoughts and ideas of me? Maybe Damien and I could run away together and start over? But the bloodline ended with me; I had to be Queen. Either way, it felt like Thule would take over, and it would be better if I was at the helm in some fashion.

  My throat tightened. “What do we do?” My father said he would come for me in the spring, but what if he changed his mind and came sooner? I knew – as well as my father – that Archibald would have his way.

  “You could let me fight for you. I could challenge Archibald to a duel. He’s in his late seventies, so it would be an easy win,” Damien suggested.

  “He would probably just pit you against his best fighter. I doubt he would fight anything himself,” I replied. “They are more brawn than brains over there, and they are very good at fighting.”

  “Then a battle of wits?” Damien said lightheartedly.

  I smiled and shook my head. Silence filled the room, the flames in the fireplace the only noise besides our thoughts.

  Not only would I lose Damien, I’d lose Maddie, Ares, and Eli... I doubted Thule wanted a wife with a child that wasn’t his, and I doubted he would accept that as a condition. But I wouldn’t take Eli there. Not with their thirst for conquest and indecency towards women. No, I could never bring such innocence there.

  “Maybe Ares has some ideas. Maybe he could wipe Archibald’s memory of me,” I said. “Then again, it would be breaking Mage law to mess with royal affairs.”

  Damien set the brush aside and I turned around to face him. He leaned in slightly, studying my face like I was an intricately painted portrait. “If Thule didn’t know about you and me, I’d follow you over there and be your lover in secret until the old man died.”

  A single tear shed from my eye as I admired his handsome face. He was quick to wipe it away with his thumb, and I leaned into his touch. “I want to marry you and no one else, Damien,” I whispered.

  “And I want to marry you,” he half-smiled, but his voice was tainted with sadness. His thumb caressed my cheek. “I will always love you…” A tear ran down his face now and I pulled him into a kiss, planting it on his cheek.

  “At least we have until spring…” I breathed against his cheek.

  Damien pulled me into a kiss; soft and gentle, making my heart flutter.

  “Maybe something can be sorted out by then,” he whispered back, his thumb moving side to side on my temple.

  I pressed against his touch and closed my eyes. “One can hope,” I sighed.