I got up from my position at the base of that big tree and looked up at the little bird critters stuffing their faces. I almost missed it, but something was off. The little birds seemed to throw caution to the wind, and the tree had dropped long black and purple vines. They moved so slowly that at first I wondered if they had been there the whole time. That was until all at once they moved quickly like a snake and coiled around the odd bird creatures. I watched in horror as they were all pulled up into the canopy. I looked to where I had been sitting, and sure enough, some of those vines had been slowly dropping to my position; if my dumb ass hadn't gotten up when I had, I would have been joining those little birds.

  ?

  Nature was cruel. Note to self, trees are arseholes here. I now saw this glowing Jungle in a new light. I had no idea what these plants were capable of, and my original plan of testing out my acrobatic skills parkouring through the Jungle didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. Instead, I chose to do the sensible option of shuffling through the trees while protecting my bits from grasping branches. I really, really needed clothes. I was wondering if the video game logic of this world would be kind enough to have monsters drop clothes, but then I remembered the Prompt for my unique monster type. It had been said that people would use me for crafting professions, so I guessed it wouldn't be that simple.

  ?

  I wish this stupid system had at least given me some identity skill like the ones those isekai protagonists got. You get a lot of free time in prison, and you'd be surprised how the anime fandom and criminal world intersect. I was getting tired of dodging every weird twig and eying every bush suspiciously. I was so focused on the stupid plants around me that I almost didn't notice the weird sounds coming from up ahead. I was squeezing myself between two suspiciously smooth green tree trunks when I realised there was an odd barking sound. It was weird and oddly rhythmic, almost like… language?

  ?

  Immediately, I froze. The barking language came again, this time sounding slightly different. I tried to focus on the voices; I thought I could identify at least four different ones. It took me a while to work out where the noises were coming from. I realised it was coming from up ahead. I made my way through, trying my best to stay hidden. It didn't take long before the most bizarre sight met me. There in the middle of this strange Jungle was an honest-to-goodness Boeing 777. It had one wing torn off, and the British Airways logo on the side was covered in strange, fleshy-looking, purple ivy-like vines. Now, a jumbo jet in this alien Jungle was weird enough, but this jet had been turned into a full-on jungle base. There were wooden fortifications all around the plane and strange huts on platforms hung in the treetops connected by rope bridges suspended above the derelict plane.

  ?

  I stared in confusion as a group of four green-skinned creatures carrying boxes. They were shorter than most adult humans, probably around five feet tall. All had shiny black hair that looked straight out of a Head & Shoulders advert. Originally, I wanted to call them goblins with all the weird stuff going on. It made sense that goblins would appear. But there was one big problem. Now, in my time, I played a lot of video games and read a lot of fantasy, and goblins were either ugly or cute, but these green folks were only handsome. Like it was weird, they were all absurdly handsome, like someone had gotten one of those boy bands and painted them green. I was tempted to introduce myself to these fellow monsters. For all I know, they could have been people who suffered the same monsterisation fate as I. But I decided to do the sensible thing and watch them for a while. As I watched, a gold box appeared in the corner of my vision. I brought it up and had a look.

  ?

  Your species name has been chosen for you by the system. Your species name is now Saheljin.

  ?

  As good a name as any, I thought of dismissing the screen. I was more interested in the green folk, more importantly, in what one of them was carrying. A box of clothes! These greenfolk wore simple clothes, but I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as I watched them. They weren't wearing anything fancy: a simple open-front brown vest and some loose white trousers. It reminded me of a budget Aladdin. I hoped he could at least tell me where to find some clothes like that. His shoes weren't that nice. They looked like the cheap plimsolls we were forced to wear in P.E., but they were better than walking around barefoot. I know my feet were tougher, and I barely felt anything when I stepped on rocks or anything. But still, shoes would be nice.

  ?

  I watched for at least an hour and saw another six of the greenfolk, four females who were just as gorgeous as their male counterparts, and two more males. They seemed like civilised folk working as a small community preparing some stew in a big cauldron. The smell was heavenly. Their language was so alien and unlike anything I had ever heard. I tried my best to work out what they were saying, but it was a pointless endeavour. I got bored with just watching these people having a good time and decided I needed to introduce myself. I didn't want to walk up to all ten of them, just in case, so I would wait until there was a chance of a one-on-one or one-on-two encounter. I looked up, noticing that the sun was a good way up. Now, I didn't know much about using the sun to tell time, but I had a feeling that it was definitely gone by midday. I really hoped these guys would let me in their camp before it got dark. I didn't want to spend the night out here in this strange Jungle. Who knew what predators came out at night?

  It was another couple of hours before I got my chance. One of the men, carrying a black-wood spear with a spearhead as long as my forearm, caught my attention. I hoped he wouldn't point it at me. I watched him hug a younger-looking male before leaving camp and heading into the Jungle. I was impressed by my new body's stealthiness. I made good progress through the Jungle, and it didn't take me long to track the man down. He was stalking a group of some of the cutest creatures I'd ever seen. They looked like hamsters the size of Golden retrievers. There were at least ten of them, but their mottled coats seemed to disappear into the leaf litter whenever they stopped moving. The more I stared at the creatures, the harder it became to tell where they were.

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  ?

  I pulled my eyes away from them and had to blink a few times before I could focus again. When I could focus again, I witnessed the green man strike out with his spear. The tip glowed brightly for a second before it pierced through one of the creature's necks. The creature didn't even have a chance to make a sound before it was run through. I watched in awe. I really needed to learn how to do that. The man was about to turn and leave, so I took the chance. I took a breath and stepped out.

  "Hey! Did you get the monsterfication treatment too?" I said, instantly realising how stupid I sounded.

  ?

  He took one look at me, dropped his prize at his feet, and pointed the spear straight at me. He started barking at me in his strange language very aggressively. I tried to make myself look as nonthreatening as possible, but that wasn't easy to do when you were naked. No one ever thinks about how intimidating naked people can be. I held my palms up and crouched, trying to make myself as nonthreatening as possible.

  ?

  Still, I couldn't help but feel that my coming out and shouting at the dude was a mistake. A thing that was unfortunately proven true moments later, when I was a couple of metres away, and I saw something pointy flying towards me. On instinct, my body swerved out of the way as I dove back into the bushes. I looked through the leaves to see where the green dude was. He had slammed his spear into the ground next to him. I watched him raise his arm, and from the centre of his palm, a sharp, pointed spine appeared before it was launched in my general direction. I didn't need to dodge as the spike flew above my head. I followed its trajectory and watched in horror as it slammed into a nearby tree and pierced straight through. Fuck! I thought as I watched him fire off a few more spikes.

  ?

  The rate at which he was firing off those spikes was staggering. He was like a bloody gunslinger. At least he couldn't find me. I contemplated staying put and hoping he would go away, but those hopes were dashed when three more creatures just like him appeared from the brush. One of them was the younger male holding a spear, and the other was a female holding a torch aloft. I watched as he pointed in my general vicinity and said some more words in his weird language.

  ?

  It was time to get the hell out of Dodge. I decided to try my hand at being sneaky, secretly hoping for a stealth skill, but my first step landed on a dry twig. A loud snap echoed across the whole grassland. Instantly, the four green dudes looked straight at me. A moment later, spikes were being fired at me in rapid fire. I tried to talk to them, shouting to stop and telling them I had been human once, but either they couldn't understand me or didn't care.

  ?

  The spikes weren't hard to evade despite their speed. I tried to turn and run when the older one, wielding a spear, appeared right in front of me. He had the point aimed directly at my heart. As he thrust forward, I felt my mind slip away. It was weird, my body moved on autopilot. My Battle Focus skill is coming into action. I managed to knock the spear away, causing it to slash across my chest rather than pierce it. My screams of pain were cut short when the shaft of the spear caught me right in the stomach, making me gasp for air. I managed to create some distance by vaulting backwards before I was on my knees, gulping for air. That's when more spikes came flying in my direction. This time, however, I was unable to dodge all of them, and I felt one slam into my arm just above the elbow. Pain coursed through my body, and when I looked down, my arm was missing. My battle focus skill was the only thing stopping me from crumpling in pain. I concentrated my whole mind on the Battle focus, giving it more control. The pain became much more bearable, and my body moved again on its own this time. Almost catlike, my body scuttled up the nearest tree. I heard the spike thud into the trunk as I made it into the canopy.

  ?

  I jumped out from the leaf cover, swinging my tail with all the force I could muster. This is where I made things worse for myself. My tail caught the younger of the two males square in the face. His head snapped back with an audible crunch before he fell to the ground dead. For a moment, everything went still as the body hit the floor. That's when the older male, whom I guessed was his father, lost his temper. Strange runes across his black spear began to glow with an eerie green light. The man screamed in rage and charged at me. I prepared to defend myself from his spear strike, but then shit got bad as the geezer disappeared. Yep, one minute he was standing there with his magic spear, the next he disappeared. A few seconds later, my battle focus once again saved my life, giving me a warning of an incoming attack. I let it guide me, and I ducked back just in time to see the spear fly through the space my head had just occupied. My eyes followed the spear as it sliced through another tree before vanishing into a purple portal.

  ?

  Oh, hell no! This mother fucker had magic items already! I felt like there was no way any creature could have had time to get magic items, yet I'd only been here for a few hours. My thoughts about time were interrupted as the spear once again came flying at me. I managed to dodge it again this time, but unfortunately, I was not able to dodge the next one as it appeared from below, piercing straight through my left foot, shattering my leg up to the knee. I collapsed to the floor, my battle focus struggling to keep the pain at bay. I heard the whistling sound of the spear coming back towards me. I let myself fall to the ground, narrowly avoiding having my head explode. I watched the spear rather than go through a portal. It was caught in the hands of the guy whose kid I just accidentally killed.

  ?

  He came and stood over me, his stupidly handsome face ugly with tears. I felt like shit. I had never wanted things to go this far. Once again, I fucked up. Not even a full day into a new life, and here I'd gone and committed murder while trying to make friends. The thought was so weird that I started laughing. The father was about to drive his spear through my chest when I saw him grin. I instantly stopped laughing, and my blood ran cold. He then barked a couple of times, and the young female greenfolk arrived carrying her weird lantern on a stick. Her face paled as the older male barked orders at her. She looked over at me, fear evident on her face. Then she held out her hand, and vines erupted from the ground all around me. They sliced through my scales as they bound me to the ground. The father patted her on the shoulder and barked a couple more things in their strange language before they walked away.

  ?

  I just lay there in the middle of the Jungle, unable to move and bleeding out. My heart dropped as I realised. This mother fucker was going to feed me to the Jungle!!!