I grabbed another squash off the shelf.

  “GRRRIIINNNDDD!” Screech hollered, tugging on my clothes in childish outrage. “You said you wouldn’t buy any stupid squashes!”

  “I say a lot of things,” I said. “Besides, they’re on sale today.”

  My debt was still a pretty big issue. We were safe now, which meant I was going to keep living, which meant I had to think long-term. We simply couldn’t afford to spend so many Qualms on something trivial like ‘tasty food’.

  “I WANNA EAT PANCAKES!” Screech screamed, startling one of the employees.

  “Sorry, he’s mine,” I sighed. “C’mon screech, why don’t you pick out a snack?”

  Even if we couldn't afford anything crazy, something small shouldn’t be too bad—

  Screech grabbed the largest plastic bin in the entire store, overflowing with white and dark chocolate-coated popcorn, glistening majestically in the neon blue lights above.

  “This one!” He stomped his feet. “I wanna eat this one!”

  I rubbed my face. “Screech…think you could quiet down?

  “I WANNA EAT THE POPCORN!”

  If his whining wasn’t bad enough, the store was absolutely packed with people, all Lead or higher. Apparently some of the important matches were going to start later that day. You can’t watch two Golds beat each other up without a little food.

  Speaking of which, I grabbed the box of popcorn, dying inside.

  {Ruthie’s Gaziga Jumbo-Size Multi-Chocolate-Coated Popcorn Balls}

  [60 Qualms]

  “SIXTY QUALMS?!”

  Screech bobbed up and down. “Grind? Buy it. BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT!”

  The price of each item was loosely related to the mental energy used to create it. By having two wildly distinct flavors packed together—that of chocolate and popcorn—the end result would likely require bursts of hyperconcentration, perhaps as much as a thought per popcorn cluster, even from a professional.

  I glanced at the enormous but slightly smaller container of fried Cheesy balls sitting beside it.

  {Joe’s Cheesy Balls of Goodness : Happy Size}

  [50% Off! : 3 Qualms]

  “Are you sure you don’t—”

  “I WAAAANNNNTT THIS ONE!” He screamed, banging his fists on the shelving. “I WANT IT NOW!!!!”

  Parenting sucks.

  “NO. WAY!” A woman chortled, skipping over to meet us. “Carlos! Come over and look at this!”

  Screech backpedaled from the couple, tantrum forgotten, hiding himself behind my leg.

  The woman laughed brightly, “Oh he’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen!”

  Carlos brushed off his suit, raising an eyebrow at the kid. His eyes widened. “Well I’ll be!”

  Screech blew his nose on the back of my pants. “Go away.”

  “It’s alright.” I reached down, picking him into my arms. “They won’t hurt you.” My hands were shaking. “Yes?”

  “Oh we were just dropping by,” Sharene said with another bout of shrill laughter. “I—” She blinked. “Sorry, but, do we know you?”

  I opened my mouth.

  I closed it.

  “No. We haven’t met.”

  “Really?” She tilted her head. “Huh. You just seemed…oh never mind. I’m Sharene, and you’re—” she knelt down to Screech. “You’re the cutest little fellow I’ve ever seen!” She glanced above my head. “Grind—that is your name, isn’t it? Interesting choice—I dearly wonder how you got him. We’ve wanted a kid for ages, haven’t we Carlos?”

  “Well not ages, per se, but well, you know.” Carlos sighed, offering a shrug. “Gotta keep the lady happy. I always figured it was impossible to have children. What, is he like a clone or something?”

  “Actually, he’s just another player,” I said. “He spawned in this young.”

  “My! How horrible!” Sharene held a hand over her mouth. “Players don’t age! He may be stuck that young forever.”

  I nodded slowly. “Maybe.”

  “Hey,” Carlos stepped forward, giving me a brotherly pat on the shoulder. “I can see you’re struggling. But don’t worry. You’re doing great. Struggle valiantly!”

  “Nuh-uh,” Screech mumbled. “I wanted the popcorn.”

  Carlos glanced at the squashes in my basket. His gaze flicked to the bin behind us. “Well look at that. You’ve got a kid with some fine taste!” He grabbed the box off the shelf and tossed it to me. “Give him a treat, would you?”

  {Notice}

  [[60] Qualms have been deposited into your account : Source : Carlos]

  “Whoa, okay, h-hold on,” I stammered, starting after them. By that point, they’d already left the isle, mixing with the crowd.

  It’s no bother!” Sharene laughed, hugging her husband as she walked “Calos made Lead yesterday! He deserves a little fun money.”

  “And what’s more fun than helping a friend?” Carlos asked. He gave me a wink as the pair waved goodbye.

  “But…I barely know you people,” I grit my teeth, covering my face in my hands. “No. No no no…you’ve got to be kidding me!”

  Screech laughed, dragging the box of popcorn in circles around me. “Thank you!” He shouted.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  “C’mon. We’re going to check out.”

  I wiped my eyes

  I wasn’t going to use those Qualms.

  I told myself I wasn’t going to use them. I couldn’t.

  But there were only a dozen Qualms in my account, given for Union groceries just yesterday. I couldn’t afford a big treat. And if I couldn’t afford a treat, Screech would make a fuss, and then those two would come back and…

  “Sir?” The worker at the register drummed her nails on the counter. “Siiir? Qualms, please.”

  “Okay.”

  {Notice}

  [You have transferred [62] Qualms to [Unionmart Groceries]]

  I left the store immediately.

  “Have a nice day.” The worker huffed, rolling her eyes. “Weirdo.”

  When we returned to the apartment, Screech started jumping up and down, fumbling with the tape around the plastic latch. “POPCORN! CHOCOLATE! POPCORN!”

  I tore the top off, dumping a handful into a bowl. “Don’t eat too much. And don’t open the door for anyone, okay?”

  He looked at me. “Grind?”

  “I-I’m going…I need to…” I massaged my forehead. “I need to go for a walk.”

  “Okay.” He held up a chocolate popcorn cluster, smiling bright. “Want some?”

  [Debuff: Hunger XI: indefinite]

  I thought about it. I really thought about it.

  “No. But thank you.”

  I left.

  The air was hot and blustery, whipping shredded plastic down the streets.

  Weaker people walked with their heads down and their hands up, shielding their face from the stinging heat of desert sand. The stronger ones made additional effort to puff out their chest with a level chin, smiling in the face of unusually extreme weather.

  In terms of being ‘stronger,’ Lead was usually considered the cut off. By that point your body becomes hardened and numb to things like ‘mild’ heat or cold, resisting illness, hunger, and exhaustion. That property intensifies the stronger you become.

  As a silver, I couldn’t feel the edges of the paved sidewalk, nor could I distinguish it from the speckled concrete, or the smooth black tar of the roads.

  I breathed a little harder, checking all nearby signs. There was a park just down the street. I could blow some steam.

  In order to keep the park free of sand, enchanters had created blocks, funneling air in an upward blast like the walls around a city. I stepped through, unable to feel the ruffle of my clothes.

  But I heard everything. Honking cars from across the street. Players shouting at one another in union centers, struggling for control over notable dungeons.

  My head throbbed.

  I heard the chirp of animals in the grassy field in the same instant as distant trees creaked under the wind while monsters grunted to one another, performing menial tasks out of the sight of players.

  Without realizing it, I was on the ground, grabbing my head with both sides, forcing each breath. I could hear the crinkle of folding grass blades and the crunch of sand as insects stepped. I could hear the roar of concrete, expanding by a fraction as it warmed in the sun.

  My ears were ringing now, yet only intensifying the sound, sharper and sharper until it cut through my mind.

  I slammed my head into the dirt and screamed.

  When I got to my feet, I didn’t care who was watching me. The tournaments had started, so it was pretty much deserted anyway.

  I wandered in a circle, through the chipped wooden path, along fronds of lush green plants. The sound had partially dulled.

  More than anything, I wished I had Ardenidi with me.

  She’d have given me some sort of advice. Then again, her advice was mostly from a book. I should read that.

  I heard a rat miles away as it scampered from some large, four-legged mammal. There was a crunch followed by twinkling Exp.

  “Am I losing my mind?” I whispered.

  Normal trauma couldn’t be anything like this, right? Even in-game trauma should be a little more realistic. I would have some repressed emotions, I could talk about them with people, and then I’d be fine. No big deal.

  That was how all this worked, wasn’t it?

  Get sick. Get help. Get better.

  What set me off?

  The thought was fuzzy, like it’d been chewed on and spat out. There were holes in my memory. Think. That was all I could—

  I let out a sigh.

  Sharene and Carlos. The memory felt fresh enough, even if it was a month or something ago.

  Were they even that bad of people? If they understood…well…even if they didn’t…

  I covered my face in my hands, surprised to find myself crying.

  I beat and robbed two perfectly decent human beings. For the sake of a girl I barely knew. Was my sense of morality so…skewed? Vulnerable?

  But they were fine now, obviously. This was a different life where I’d never hurt them.

  What was I even supposed to do? Should I feel sad? Within the scope of this timeline, I haven’t done anything wrong.

  Was it wrong to accept their money? No, Screech needed food and Carlos seemed genuinely happy to help him. If I’d refused, he might’ve been offended. But it wasn’t like they’d drastically changed since the last time we met. Their principles were the same, and they’d probably still hurt monsters if they thought I was being manipulated. All out of their incredible self-righteousness.

  This was just one big ugly mess with no hope of a clean-cut solution.

  I kept walking, out of the park, across town.

  A speck of rubble fell from the sky, brushing against my foot.

  When I squinted, trailing its path up to the side of a building, I found a wall had been blown apart, surrounded by Union equipment.

  There was a pot-shaped imprint on the other side, where an unknown projectile had flattened the wall, demolishing a kitchen counter, breaking through and out the other side of the building. Officers were discussing the possibilities of a monster attack with the residents.

  I started walking up the steps ringing around the complex.

  If I turned in the right direction and focused, I could just barely make out the outline of my apartment window.

  A stray thought and I broke a building, very nearly killing someone in the process.

  I’m such an idiot.

  So I walked to their room and apologized, gaining a thousand Qualms of debt in the process, not to mention a few nasty looks. But I was also a Silver, so the officers didn’t press further charges.

  Funny how that worked.

  When I returned home, it was late evening. The groceries were still on the counter, not put away, so the milk and cheese were definitely spoiled.

  I threw those in the trash.

  Screech had missed lunch, instead eating fistfuls of chocolate popcorn, smearing chocolate stains over the carpet, walls, and furniture.

  He was lying on the couch with the radio on, looking queasy.

  “Hi Screech,” I said. “You should have some real food. You’ll get sick eating that.”

  “No…I’m…f-full…” Screech covered his mouth with his hands.

  I pointed to the bathroom. “Go.”

  Thankfully, he didn’t puke, but he spent the next few hours on the floor, clutching his stomach.

  When I offered him squash, he got grossed out by the texture and almost threw up again, so I had him eat bread and go to bed early.

  I opened the front door.

  There were some big tournament games planned tomorrow, so I should buy milk and cheese now, while the store wasn’t too crowded.

  I closed the door.

  “System integrity.”

  {Grind : Shock - system_integrity 63%}

  “Whatever.”

  I grabbed a blanket and fell asleep on the floor, forgetting to eat dinner.

  // {Notice} //

  Hi! Hope you enjoyed my fantasy story. But as much fun as a fantasy is, there’s things in the real world beyond what writing can fix. That’s where you come in.

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