ENVY

  The needle poked her finger, and Kat winced. A small droplet of blood coalesced on her fingertip. The usual green acid bubbled out as well. She placed her finger in her mouth and sucked off all the blood, then she removed it to study the wound. There was no sign of any damage done; she'd already fulled healed. Some blood, however, remained on her fingertip. Kat glanced at Jules.

  Still moping.

  She looked the opposite direction, where Cy had just left a few minutes ago. He walked along a narrow path and never looked back at her. The sun rose just above his head.

  Still an absent-minded ass. Which one of you do I like the least right now?

  She went to wipe the blood off on Jules' white shirt she was currently mending. Tempting, but I better not. Whiskers purred beside her.

  “You know,” Kat said to her Familiar, “it’s so sexist that I have to Tailor the clothes.”

  “Katarina, you are the best Forger in the group—”

  “Yeah, obviously. But that doesn’t make me a Tailor.” Whiskers fanned out his three tails. “Don't give me your physical comedy crap."

  “The truth is, we need a larger Party with a variety of crafting Skills," Whiskers said. "We're only going to become greater outlaws as time passes. Going into cities and having Tradies repair our armor and weapons will become increasingly more challenging.”

  Kat unrolled her jacket and put it on. They were on a tropical island, but she couldn’t help but shake and shiver lately.

  “So,” she said, “you assume we are staying with them?”

  “I am here for you, my dear Katarina. But I cannot make a decision for you. Tell me what’s on your mind, child.”

  Kat threw aside Jules’ armor. “I am listless, directionless. I feel like I have no guiding light… I guess I miss Pop. I miss his advice.”

  “He is not here. I am. Now speak, what is it you want?”

  Kat crossed her legs and leaned forward, attentively.

  “I just want a normal life. I don’t want to worry about fighting all the time. It’s been every day now for years. And I don’t want to lose control like Jules. You and Kaizen say there’s no Envy out there waiting to possess me, but I find that hard to believe. I’d rather not end in madness."

  She studied Whiskers to see if he'd betray any hint of that being true. She continued after she failed to discern anything.

  “I want my dad. I want to know what happened to my birth parents. I want to stop the Apocalypse. I want to kill Zeke. With my bare hands. Or a sharpened ax. Or a dull ax, covered in rust. I just want a goal in life, like everyone else, and most of all, I want Jules to come back to the world of the living.”

  Whiskers sat patiently and listened to it all.

  “OK. Let’s start with that last one. But first, what do you need?” Kat glared at him.

  “I need you to show me some Salvos-damned compassion. To me. Even every once in a while.”

  Whiskers tilted an indignant chin upward. “It appears I’ve been going too lax on you, then,” he said. “I’ve given you a brief respite from my duties this week, yet you still throw it in my face. What do you call this, what I am doing now?"

  “Your duties?”

  “I am charged with making you endure envy and jealousy, so it does not overcome you. Consume you. Other Familiars—” Whiskers glared at Rukia. "—Are not so aligned. It is a difficult task."

  “Really? That’s surprising, because you are very, very good at it.”

  “I meant it’s difficult for me.” Their green eyes stared deeply into each others’. “You are easy to rile up. I admit, it is occasionally fun, but it is not easy for me to treat you the way I must.”

  Kat scoffed. Mangy little bastard.

  “It is the duty with which I was charged,” he repeated. “It is not easy, but I am honored to do it.”

  More cryptic, empty words from you. Kat paused to study his three tails. You did stay by my side, as much as you could, though. “Right. Moving on. I need a goal, is what I need.”

  “I thought you just wanted one.”

  “I need someone to help me—”

  “You have friends. And me.”

  Kat balked. “We are not friends?”

  “I’d say we are more than friends, Katarina, which is why I distinguished it.” Oh.

  “I want to find myself, Whiskers.”

  “We lived in a bubble for eighteen years. You are just now finding yourself through hardships. Your time is coming soon.”

  “Why do you seem so confident in your identity, then?”

  “I am…old. And because of that, wise. Do not laugh at me, child. Specific knowledge doesn’t transfer through Cycles, but the wisdom remains.”

  Kat hugged her knees. It’s not fair that everyone already knows what they want, and how to get it, and who they are. “I still need a goal…”

  “Do you not have one?” Whiskers asked. He looked over at Jules. “Cy is off fighting windmills, while Jules fights demons and you fight your own great expectations. You are all fighting yourselves—by yourselves.”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

  Whiskers hissed in his impatience. “You want one large, overarching goal, but what you need are smaller goals, until you’ve figured out what you want. Which for you will be difficult, considering your Sinful nature. Discerning truth through the fog that others leave behind for you.”

  “Are you saying I don’t know what I want for myself?”

  “Yes, clearly.”

  Kat glared at him for a second, then she hissed back. He jumped in the air with an arched back and all his fur on end.

  “Snap out of it, Katarina!” he shouted at her. “You died, you came back to life. So did I. You defeated your opponent single-handedly, and with grace, before that. Cy made a choice to keep his idiot girlfriend alive, and that put you in a very poor situation, but Jules decided to save you, and look at what he chose to sacrifice. Only Maddie and her crew know who you are, or else you wouldn’t have been beheaded and left for dead. And if she didn’t tell Zeke before, I doubt she will by now, as the punishment for being able to prevent Coralhaven, but turning a blind eye, would be immense. So why are you sad, really?”

  “You are such an asshole.”

  “I am trying to illuminate you. I don’t judge you. I truly don’t. I am peeling back the onion, so I ask again, why are you sad, Green Eyes?”

  “Because I don’t know what I want!” Kat wanted to slap Whisker’s self-righteous grin off his face.

  “But you just told me what you wanted. More than anything, I think is how you phrased it. Again, you’re just in your own way.”

  Why am I like this? Kat looked at Jules, then stood up.

  “Hold your horses, Katarina. Don’t seem so desperate, for Salvos’ sake.”

  Kat rolled her eyes. “What now?”

  “He needs you. Make no mistake.” Whiskers shifted his gaze to Rukia and Kaizen. “But he needs them, too, and just them. Say what you need. Do what you must. Then leave him alone.”

  Kat stormed off. “Do I have your blessing now?”

  “Always,” Whiskers whispered. “Not that it matters, apparently…”

  Kat stopped and turned around to him. “Thank you.” She marched toward Jules.

  Kat heard Whiskers think back to her, My sweet, sweet Katarina…

  “Hey, idiot!”

  Jules didn’t respond. Might've gone in too strong.

  “Jules…can we talk?”

  Silence. K, cool.

  “I’m gonna sit down.” She sat down. More silence. “I want you to know that I’m here for you. We’re a team, we’re friends, we’re—more than that, I think.”

  Jules shifted his body, so he wasn’t angled toward any of them.

  “You’ve given up on me? Already? Given up on the world? Hey—I’m talking to you!”

  “Go. Away.”

  The fury of Salvos engulfed her, beyond that of Wrath himself. She shoved a shoulder back, so he faced her again.

  “What you did to me back there—You don’t get to ignore me,” she snapped.

  Jules’ eyes widened, his terse lips separated briefly in awe before his new perma-frown returned, and he looked back down. “That’s exactly why I can’t talk to you.”

  SMACK!

  Jules rubbed his cheek and looked at her, bewilderment in his eyes. She slapped his other cheek, about five times harder. Jules stretched out his jaw in every direction. The blood from Kat's finger stained Jules’ cheeks, which he smeared as he stretched and rubbed his face.

  “Now we’re even,” she said with listless eyes. “One smack for each agonizing death you put me through.”

  Jules turned the other cheek. “Don’t stop at two. It rained for a long time. You told me there were more than two.”

  “You're an idiot.” She resisted the urge to slap him again. “If I say two times, it's because I mean two times. The rain killed me once when it fell from the sky. Then it kept me from reviving until it had mostly gone away. The last few drops of it killed me again—”

  “You would have died hundreds of times, Kat.”

  “I died eighty-seven times that day, Jules. Your rain actually kept me from doubling it. Cy and I did the math. The other eighty-five times were courtesy of Zeke.”

  “I’m sure it was a terrible second revival—”

  “Jules. I—Look at me, dammit." Kat’s eyes welled with tears. Jules’ remained dry. "I forgive you.”

  “I’m…sorry Kat. I’m sorry.”

  “I forgive you, but only for killing me. You have something else to apologize for.”

  You don’t even remember what it is, do you? Ha! And here I thought…

  “Don’t tell me you forgot. You made me a promise and you’re two days late. I’ve been waiting, and—"

  "A lady doesn’t like to be kept waiting," Whiskers added. "Nor does a lady slap her courtier, either, but—"

  Envy leered at the cat, and he scurried away.

  Jules sighed and looked to the sky. “Do it alone. I’m not in the mood.”

  A lady does not slap her courtier. A lady does not slap her…

  “So that’s how much I mean to you? We’re going to Unlock our Systems. Now. Together.”

  “No.”

  “And why the hell not?” He was silent, and Kat gave him the space to take it all in. “Are you gonna force my hand? A promise is a promise, Jules.”

  After a while, Jules broke into bitter laughter.

  “Finally, you crack a smile.”

  “Nobody can win against you, can they?” Jules stood up. “Thanks, Kat. Really, thank you.”

  Of course, Jules.

  “Fine, whatever, who cares? Are you ready?”

  “No. Not right now.”

  “You asshole!” Kat jammed her finger into his chest. “Are you screwing with me?” Now, of all times?

  Jules grabbed her hand and wagged it back and forth with another smile. She tried to yank it back, but he didn't let go.

  Is he toying with me?

  “Cy’s still gone.”

  Kat paused, then smiled back. “That’s a fair ask.”

  “Honestly, Kat. I didn’t know you could be so selfish.”

  Kat frowned, and her eyelids dropped halfway down. “Don’t press your luck, kid.”

  With a faint grin, Jules sat back down. He’s back to team mode. Mission accomplished.

  “Happy Birthday, Kat.”

  “Belated. But Happy Birthday to you, too, Jules. We made it to adulthood.”

  They played with the grass for a while. Kat let the wind take some from her hands and blow into Jules’ face. She blushed. Jules ripped out a patch of grass and tossed it in her face. One eye twitched in annoyance.

  “Thanks, Kat. I know… I know Cy had to step up to be the leader. And be stoic and make survival decisions, and all that crap. He was just so…clinical about it all.” Jules' smile faded.

  “Yeah, I know. Cy's a dick. It was necessary, though.”

  “I already felt dehumanized. I guess I just needed to be treated like a person again. Not a demon, or a burden to be managed. I appreciate you holding me to a promise. I don’t know why, but it made me feel real again. Like a person, and not an Arcanic, or…" Jules glanced over at Evelyn's remains.

  “Good. You know, Jules. We can’t wait around forever for you to make a move.”

  We? Whiskers thought. Or you specifically?

  I said can it, fur ball!

  Jules sighed.

  “OK, get up,” she ordered. When he didn’t, she forced him up and dusted him off. “You will go do…anything. Anything at all. Walk the beach for all I care. Go visit with your mom. Just do something. Right now.”

  Jules looked into her emerald green eyes. “OK. I will. What will you do?”

  Kat looked back towards the hills, towards the Shrine.

  “I’m going to help Cy. When I come back, I want you focused. I need you focused. I need…you. Back. With me, with us.” She walked away.

  Jules grabbed her arm.

  “Kat…” She wanted affection, needed it. “When you get back, I have something for you. Something special. It’s a day or two late, but…”

  “Better late than never.”

  Kat left him on the cliff side.

  It was a long walk to the Shrine, at least an hour. Kat thought about Jules the entire way, about what his surprise could be. She approached the Shrine’s gate, which was vacant with not sign of Cyrus.

  “Whiskers. Stay here and wait for us.”

  “No. I will—”

  “Yes. I need to do this on my own, just like he did, just like Jules must.”

  “Katarina…”

  “You have helped me as a friend. I’ve just helped Jules as a friend. Now I must do the same for Cy, and blah blah blah.” I'm not built for this kind of emotional labor.

  Whiskers grunted, but she felt his pride for her through their shared channel.

  Growing up, aren't I? she asked.

  I wouldn't call it that, he replied. But some might, he conceded.

  Kat walked through the gate without waiting for Whiskers’ answer. She fell through the vortex void and crashed into the courtroom’s audience benches.

  No Shrine rules? She winced and sat upright. Djinns were everywhere—

  No, the same Djinn.

  The walls were lined with smoke and mirrors. Kat saw Cy at the front, on trial.

  “Cy…what the hell is going on?”

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  79

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  (note — the draft was finalized!!)