Jules’ back leaned against the tree. He looked out past the cliff that fell sharply before him. Evelyn laid six feet in front of and underneath him, Cy about six miles behind him, and Katarina somewhere in between.
Clouds approached them from the north and darkened the sky. The lighthouse is still out. Guess it’s darkest just before the light, but who will guide everyone in the coming storm? Rukia rested next to him. She licked and chewed at her paws to remove sand from the beach they’d just walked below the cliffs.
I know Ruke's giving me space, but that gnawing sound is driving me insane. Still, I know she’d rather play right now. One more thing to feel guilty about, I suppose.
[Quest Reminder: Go Long! is still available.]
His eyes glazed over as he gazed at the fresh mound of dirt in front of him. What do I do now, Mom? The wind picked up and blew his hair and leaves about, as if she replied, Just let it all go.
“I killed them all, Rukia,” Jules said. “Every single one of them. People I hated, but also people I loved.”
Rukia placed her paws down and perked up. “Oh, Jules. It’s OK. I slaughtered your entire home village except for one person, and of course he’s the guy out on a vengeance kick.”
Jules stared at her, wide-eyed.
“Er," she continued. "What I mean to say is, you really didn’t mean to, Jules. You had no other choice. Whereas I did!” Rukia tilted her head and smiled at him, then resumed gnawing her paws.
“No offense, Rukia…but how could you do that?” Jules couldn’t help but notice her sharp, though little, fangs.
“You see, Jules. Whether subconsciously or not, you are acknowledging the difference between our two acts. I acted out of fear and rage. But I also acted out of protection, and out of the wisdom of a thousand lives lived, which you do not possess—uh, have. Sorry, poor choice of words. But I know that you would have had Greed and Sloth’s fate if I didn’t intervene.”
Jules raised his brows. “How could you have known that?”
“I saw pitchforks, torches… You’ve been trapped before at birth. Probably a few times. It’s just the odds of countless iterations." She stopped her Salvos-damned gnawing and pinned her ears back in shame. "Those were terrible Cycles, Jules. I don’t have the hard memories to support them, but the underlying anxiety is there.”
“So, self-preservation? Self defense? That’s your excuse?”
She slammed a paw down, then stood on all fours.
“No, it’s not my excuse. It’s inexcusable. But it is my reasoning. They were actively seeking to kill you, and when they would have eventually found out they couldn’t, they’d've trapped you, tortured you… I made my choice, but only after they made theirs.”
“So how do you, uh, not linger on it, then?”
“I’m sure I did, the first few times it happened in different Cycles. But it’s so common for me now… Don’t forget. I am the Stormfront.”
“Right. I'm not entirely sure what that—”
A streak of lightning cracked out at sea, away from the clouds. She looked at him coolly, so coolly. Whoah…
“But you’re just a harmless little fur ball.”
“Because you haven’t trained hard enough. Yourself, or me. You’re in for a surprise once you’ve fully assembled the Sound.”
Fully assembled the Sound…?
[Quest Reminder: Seeketh Patience is still available.]
“Do you ever hate yourself?” Jules asked Rukia.
“I could never hate you, Jules.”
“That’s not what I asked—”
“Sure wasn't. But it’s what you meant.” Stern, but fair.
“But do you hate yourself for what you’ve done? What you have to do?”
“You never have to do anything. No matter the choice, there is a consequence to someone that you will have to live with.” Jules chewed on that thought for a while. “It’s not an easy path, Jules. Not one you would choose, though it was chosen for you.”
Jules looked back toward the Shrine, out of sight.
“A path better walked alone, probably.”
“If you go alone, that road will swallow you. Plus, I'm too sneaky—I'd follow and you wouldn't know."
I doubt that. Jules thought about his final hunting trip with his father and Cy, and how many times he'd caught a glimpse of her. Then again, the Warg was already out. Maybe she was tailing me for a while, without me knowing it…
But the intrusive thoughts returned.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
“Everyone was right.” Jules shook his head. “I am a monster. I’m not as strong as I thought. I’ll lose control again. I already feel him pushing.” Jules peeled back his shirt. The heptagram around his Seal had filled in some more over the last few days.
“Don’t watch a cake bake, Jules.” She gnawed especially hard on a toe, with one eye open, one shut.
“I can see a huge difference since last night, though. What happens when this fills in, Ruke?”
“Let’s back up, Jules. You made a lot of statements that I don’t quite agree with, just a second ago. First of all—who’s right? What’s a monster? How strong are you? And will you lose control again?”
Jules tried to keep up, but noticed she skipped his main concern. Honestly, I'm impressed she kept that much straight. “What about the last one? The question I asked?”
Rukia gazed into his eyes before answering. “It’s a pointless question, Jules. That tattoo won’t fill in. And d'ya know why?” Jules couldn’t answer. He shifted his weight and focused on Evelyn's grave again.
“Because if it fills in,” she resumed grooming herself, “then you will have lost control, proven yourself weak, become a monster, and proven everyone right about you.”
Salvos-damn fox. Jules studied the Sound, which leaned against the same tree as him. Rough edges, but also smooth ones, just like someone else I know.
“Thank you, Rukia."
“You need friends, Jules. So don’t walk the path alone. You have me and Kaizen for starters, but even I wasn’t enough for him.”
“I’m not sure Kaizen is a friend. He lied to me about something heavy.”
“That why you've kept him in prison? He didn’t lie. He just withheld information.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Oh, I don’t know…" A shadow grew over Rukia, and Jules leaned over to her.
“Wait—Did you know all that info, too?”
“We can’t delay your training any longer—The clock’s ticking! You should ask him yourself.”
Sly little fox…
? Summon ? ? Giant ? ? Dickhead ?
"No!" Rukia shouted. "Be careful what you Conjure!"
Jules cancelled the invocation just in time.
? Summon ? [?9,990 // ?10,000]
Jules manifested Kaizen from the chakra beads next to Rukia’s collar. Kaizen appeared stern, disappointed, angry even. Jules responded in kind. About to be a bloodbath.
“Why did you lie to me?”
“Did I?” Kaizen asked.
“You did.”
“What did I tell you that was false?” Jules wracked his memory for an example, any example, but came up short. “I said you weren’t ready, did I not?”
“So you’re just withholding information from me, letting me fail? Look where it got me.”
“I warned you, Jules. You forced me back into my shell—”
“Why not try harder, Kaizen!? For something so serious—Is it against the rules?” Got him there. Wrath told me he could have told me. Catch him in this lie, and go from there.
“No. It is not against the rules. I simply chose not to tell you.”
“Why the hell not!?” Orange flames erupted from Jules' eyes.
“You ignored me and put me away. You didn’t probe for more information, didn’t try to hear my side—”
“And look what happened! You punished me for being childish—which, by the way, I pretty much still am!"
"You don't get to be a fucking child!!"
Bolts of lightning struck out at sea when Kaizen shouted. Birds fled from the surrounding trees. Kaizen took a few deep breaths.
"You don’t have the luxury of childhood, Jules. Besides that, I am showing you—”
“You let me massacre my entire hometown.”
“So you could understand the stakes.”
Jules dropped to his knees. The flames around his eyes extinguished.
“Did you know this was going to happen? Is this one of those pieces of history that repeats itself?”
Did he know? Does he regret it now? Is it more the rules, or his own stubbornness? How can I trust him if he doesn’t speak to me?
“Jules, no living incarnation of Wrath has ever taken Wrath’s Deal." Kaizen shook his head and looked away. Rukia gave Kaizen an odd look. "For who knows how long—an eternity? Now you’ve come along. I never expected you to take it. But you made that choice, not me. You don't even know the box you have opened."
“I had no choice but to take it. I was ill-prepared for that Shrine. I couldn’t escape it any other way, and Cy was going to be killed, Kat tortured forever, and…” Jules looked to Rukia, not for support, but because he worried about her future, too.
“Again, I warned you not to enter the Shrine. I said you weren’t ready for it. Because you weren’t, no matter how well-informed you were entering it. We each made our own decision. And looking at the whole picture of what happened… It’s not your fault, Jules. But it’s not mine, either. Not entirely. There are too many complexities at play to assign blame to any one individual." Kaizen picked up the Sound. "Even Wrath.”
Jules looked at Kaizen in disbelief. Even Wrath?
Even Wrath!?
"I’ll share the blame with you, asshole. But if I was better prepared, I could have come out as myself—not possessed by Wrath.”
“No. You are wrong. There is no alternate history where you retrieved this piece of the Sound that day, peacefully. Relative to Wrath's incarnations who came before you, Jules, you are not that special.” Ouch.
“You are being an asshole—”
“And you are behaving like a child!” Kaizen shouted. “You are an adult now. Officially. It's time to grow up.”
“Kaizen,” Rukia threatened, her voice thick with maternal instinct. Thunder cracked in distance.
“No, Rukia. He is weak-willed.” Kaizen shifted his attention back to Jules. Black flames erupted from Kaizen’s eyes. “I am here to forge and form you, to mold you into a weapon that can bring down Wrath, Death, Destiny, Fate—this entire fucking circus of clowns.”
Black flames tempered to green.
“But I am also here to help guide you, to help you take the path you want to take, as my mentor allowed me. I will be here for you, I will help you talk through things, I will help you fight through battles."
Sure doesn't seem that way.
“But one thing I will not do, Jules, is reveal anything to you until I think you’re both ready and worthy of knowing it. And I am no babysitter.”
Jules took the lashing sitting down. It was a good dressing down, he knew, and he also knew he deserved it. Definitely won't get lectured by my parents anymore.
He closed his eyes, meditated, and let his emotions roll through him. He couldn't shake his anger at Kaizen, his fury for Wrath, for Death, for Fate—For whoever the fuck. But it helped to focus.
“I have two lessons for today,” Kaizen said. “The first will make me sound like a callous bastard, but it’s a lesson you need right now. Jules, stand up when I instruct you.”
Jules obeyed.
“In all tragedies,” Kaizen continued, “you must find and then focus on the silver lining."
Rukia shook her body, then her head, and stepped away. I'm not with him, she repeated in Jules' mind.
"You can’t change the past. You can only try to improve the future. When your mission is complete, you may grieve. Until then, you forge ahead.”
I'm not with him, Rukia continued.
“You got the callous bastard part right.”
Kaizen allowed Jules the time to think the lesson over before pressing on.
What a terrible thing to say. No healthy way to live life. But… If I'm supposed to kill Death, then I must be the savior of the world, so maybe he’s right. He’s been in this position before, so do I take this wisdom, too? It makes sense, in a pragmatic, sociopathic way. But it doesn’t feel right.
Should I delay my grief? Jules looked at the grave. What harm would that cause me in the long run?
“Good,” Kaizen said. “Think about that more, but later. Your second lesson begins now. You’re going to learn how to use that silver lining you received from this tragedy. I’m going to teach you how to use the Sound.”
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