One moment, Date Masamune was lunging for Hiro, his blade a blur of deadly steel. The next, a dark shape leapt between them.

  “Hachi, no!” Bianca cried.

  Masamune’s sword cleaved straight through the dog in a single motion, bisecting him cleanly. The two halves of Hachi smacked against the ground, dark essence already twisting at the edges where his body had been severed.

  Hiro knew he could reform the Shiba Inu. The system wouldn’t let him die that easily. Yet Bianca’s response seemed almost guttural, and seeing the samurai kill his dog ignited a fire within him.

  The fearless fuzzy pink shield exploded forward with anger, her tentacles writhing. “You’re mine, asshole!”

  Backpedaling, Hiro activated {Kore Nani Neko}, his swarm of spectral cats that darted toward Masamune in an unpredictable pattern, yowling and clawing. He followed his distractionary measure up with {Thoughts and Prayers}, which, as usual, had no effect.

  As his cats did their best to distract Masamune, Hiro took a deep drag off his vape pen.

  He rushed forward and exhaled a thick, rusty cloud of Corruption-laced smoke directly into Masamune’s face. The pristine surface of the samurai’s armor darkened, tendrils of black creeping along the golden inlays.

  It worked to some degree, but not enough to do much to Masamune’s health bar.

  The samurai surged forward again, his katana flashing. Hiro barely managed to get his own blade up in time to block.

  Klank!

  The force of the strike sent tremors through his arms. Masamune pressed the attack, driving Hiro backward with ruthless efficiency. Steel clashed against steel, each strike coming closer and closer to breaking through Hiro’s increasingly desperate defense.

  Masamune swiveled.

  Bianca shrieked as one of her pink tentacles hit the ground, cleanly severed. Masamune barely even looked at her as he cut through another.

  Desperate to shift the momentum, Hiro activated {Bounce}and leaped backward. As he landed, Hiro unleashed {Blade Whirlwind}, striking Masamune and drawing the samurai’s focus away from Bianca back to him.

  He needed something different, something that didn’t rely on his mediocre swordplay when faced against an actual swordmaster.

  What about…”

  An idea came and he went with it as Hiro cast his One Hit Wonder known as {Scania the Piss Disc Mimic}.

  A chorus of high-pitched giggles echoed through the battlefield as a swarm of grotesque cherubs descended from nowhere. Their tiny, pudgy hands clapped in delight as they hovered above the pavement, golden halos shimmering above their malformed heads.

  Then, with synchronized mischief, the cherubs unleashed streams of luminous, glittering urine, the liquid splashing onto the pavement in a steaming cascade. The air filled with an acrid, ammonia-laced stench, thick and stifling, like an overused gas station bathroom left to ferment in the summer heat.

  “What the actual hell, Hiro!” Bianca yelled.

  The golden liquid bubbled and twisted, reshaping itself into something grotesque and shimmering. Scania rose from the puddle of urine, the mimic’s form shifting and contorting, its surface rippling in mockery of Hiro’s own face and stance. The mimic produced a katana, a shield, and summoned yellow phantom piss cats.

  Masamune turned, taking in the new arrival with something like disdain.

  As the cats and Scania rushed in, Hiro popped a Bleed cartridge into his vape pen, inhaled deeply, and exhaled a thick, blood-tinged cloud directly at Masamune’s direction.

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  “Foul cretin!” Masamune cried as Scania lashed at himwith a liquid piss-blade. Hiro moved in with his katana and his Bear Claw, using the distraction to deliver a few choice cuts amplified by bleed damage.

  Masamune retaliated with a vicious swing; Hiro parried just in time, his arm trembling under the force.

  Scania jumped forward, launching a flurry of rapid slashes, forcing Masamune to pivot and block. Hiro took the opening, slicing through a gap in the samurai’s elaborate armor, causing another chunk of his health to drop as the Bleed damage set in.

  They kept up the pressure of trading blows, some of their attacks landing, some not. Soon, Masamune’s health bar finally dipped below the halfway mark. Frenzied and growing increasingly desperate, the samurai batted both of them away and jutted a single finger into the air as he shouted: “Loose thy storm! Let fly, and let none stand!”

  The sky blackened, signaling something was incoming.

  Hiro stumbled, tripped over Bianca’s overturned shield form, and landed on his back. Fueled by the Pink Bull he had finished off before the battle, Hiro felt no fatigue as he hopped back to his feet, prepared for the worst.

  He rolled to the side and grabbed Bianca just in time to duck under the cover of the shield as sizzling black arrows riddled the battlefield, cutting through the phantom piss cats, further severing some of Bianca’s loose tentacles, and stabbing into the two halves of Hachi’s body.

  Like Hiro, Scania had also protected himself with his shield.

  The two locked eyes—Hiro’s black, blazing, filled with surprise at Masamune’s last move; Scania’s glossy and yellow, firm, determined in a way that inspired Hiro to steel himself and prepare for what was clearly about to be the second part of the battle.

  The pair moved in unison, their attacks a relentless barrage of steel and absurdity. Both jumped backward and spammed Masamune with {Blade Whirlwind}, their weapons carving through the air in synchronized arcs.

  Scania’s version, however, added an extra level of absurdity—each slash sent shimmering spritzes of golden piss into the air like a demented water fountain.

  “What madness is this golden rain!?” Masamune cried as some piss splashed into his good eye. He staggered back, momentarily blinded, but continued fending Hiro and Scania off with his katana. The battlefield now seeked of acrid ammonia and burning metal, creating a surreal, almost slapstick display of carnage. “Vile sorcerer!”

  Bianca, still wounded, wrapped one of her tentacles around an overturned stone and pulled herself away from the immediate fray, her form trembling as she worked to reposition herself.

  “Damnation, take thee, demon of filth!” Masamune came at Hiro again, the crescent moon on his kabuto twisting and morphing into jagged, antler-like blades.

  Their blades clashed with a thunderous klank, a shower of sparks erupting from the impact, momentarily illuminating the battlefield in a blinding flash.

  Masamune swiveled and brought his katana down in a brutal arc. Dodging just in time, Hiro pushed away and countered with another {Blade Whirlwind} at point blank range. Scania mirrored his attacks, the mimic’s piss-fueled strikes causing Masamune to snarl in frustration as the shimmering golden mist coated his once-pristine armor, which continued to fizzle and crack because of the Corruption.

  Masamune lunged again, but this time Hiro was ready.

  He caught the descending katana with the jagged teeth of his Bear Claw, the weapon’s serrated edges locking the blade in place with a grinding screech. They struggled, strength against strength, as the blades of Masamune’s kabuto fended off any attempts from Scania. The one-eyed samurai let loose a guttural growl and lifted his free hand.

  Whoosh!

  A stream of white fire burst forth, roaring past Hiro with blistering heat.

  Hiro had no choice but to activate {Bounce}, propelling himself backward into the Zone of Influence just as the flames engulfed Scania disintegrating the mimic, its golden form dissolving into nothingness with a final, tragic spritz.

  Now recovered enough to act, Bianca scuttled back into the fray.

  With a furious shriek, she latched onto Masamune’s leg with her remaining tentacles, yanking him off balance as a sinister crackling filled the air. The Corruption that had been slowly eating away at the samurai’s armor finally took full effect. The pristine plates crumbled and fell away, revealing the decayed flesh beneath.

  “What’s this?” Masamune asked. “Foul wretch. Unholy specter—”

  Seizing on the moment, Hiro summoned his odachi from thin air, gripping it like a polearm.

  With a forceful thrust, he charged toward the stunned samurai and drove the massive blade straight through Masamune’s exposed stomach. A strangled sound escaped the samurai’s throat as the Bleed damage compounded, draining the last of his strength.

  [A Great Revenant has fallen.]

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  Hiro sucked in a quick breath as a ball of radiant light rose from Masamune’s fallen form. It turned toward him.

  Wham!

  The glowing mass slammed into his chest before him could so much as flinch. Hiro hit the ground and everything flashed white.

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