Gwyn stared at the piece of fabric that had once been Mina’s makeshift dress. Even the bloodstains had dissolved away, leaving nothing behind. It was as if she were right; she was fake, and her disappearance left the same mark as someone losing an imaginary friend. Kako must have been proud in a way; she had achieved every author’s goal of making someone think their character was almost real, to the point that their death was traumatic. But she was fake. She said so herself.

  The earthing knew he was trying to bullshit himself. To take away the prospect of having just witnessed someone dying in front of his eyes. He hadn’t seen true death yet since coming to Resh. King Whitlock had been killed at a distance, and the Needaimus called Nighthawk just went up in a fireball. His own death had come close, but that was different still.

  This was a human —or a close enough analog —who died in such a gruesome way on top of that. His arms were trembling, and his legs might have too if they weren’t compressed into the floor by his body. Gwyn expected he should be crying, but he didn’t. He also wondered why he should be crying. She wasn’t as close as Fiona or Odell; she even was a bit suspicious, like her author, but in their sparse interactions, Gwyn had developed a passing affection for the silly elf. Fake as she claimed to be, he could still imagine she would have made a good friend.

  Under the beating of an angry heart, he could feel an emotion festering. One of rage and violence, and blood and vengeance. He scratched his left arm. Stony growth had already reached past his elbow.

  A hand on his shoulder broke Gwyn out of his emotions for just a moment.

  “I am not sure what happened,” Amaris said in a calm voice. It seemed very much like a forced calm, but Gwyn wasn’t going to complain in this situation. Her voice turned more apologetic. “I am sorry for your loss.”

  “It’s alright,” Gwyn replied. He wiped at his eyes with his good hand. Whether they were wet or dry, he didn’t pick up, but it at least gave him something to do with his hand other than scratch. He forced himself to his feet. A moment of unease almost caused him to topple, but Amaris held his shoulder until he found his footing.

  The Nonpareil stared at the liquefied laser in silence. He could have easily taken that thing down. Why didn’t he realize? Why didn’t he act sooner? Would the Gwyn who first entered Nun have panicked and tried to run? Or would he have laughed and turned the silly spaceship’s defenses to goo? The present one could be sure that the old confident version of himself died when every bone had been broken.

  He was never the right hero for this story, but, like it or not, he was thrust into that role. Gwyn turned his thoughts to Fiona and Haliegh. They were still alive. He hoped so sincerely that they were still alive. If he came upon the girls, and saw that blue face with large purple eyes open but staring off to nowhere—the same big eyes that were the first he had ever seen on Resh, he wasn’t sure what he would do. He might completely break then.

  No, they were still alive, and he still had the means to rescue them. He couldn’t save Mina, but if he was resolved, he could save everyone else. They kept calling him Nonpareil, some sort of hero title. If that meant anything at all, that meant he wasn’t helpless.

  Gwyn didn’t like it. In some small part, he felt as if he were giving in to something much larger. Like the flow of the story, the character must go through. He still wasn’t sure the resolve would even last. Once they were out safely—and they were going to get out safely—he felt as if his mood would drop again and he would retreat into the comfort of his tiny room.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  That was okay. He just needed resolve for now, just enough to save Fiona and Haliegh. Perhaps it was selfish, but he didn’t want to see another dead face. Perhaps it was heroic; he no longer cared for what might happen to himself. He didn’t care. For the here and now, he was focused. Worrying about what might happen after would be a problem for future Gwyn.

  “Hey,” Amaris said. Gwyn realized she must have been trying to get his attention.

  “Sorry,” Gwyn said. The scene of the room was coming back into focus. The panels surrounding the outside all lit up and flashed in different colors, and the floodlights at the bottom of the floor faded in as overhead lights came on. The ship was active again. Another thing that was his fault, but he could live with that. It would be okay. “We should get moving. The others still need rescuing, and now it seems this ship is on.”

  “Ship? Never mind that, sit a moment. Sit!”

  Gwyn did as told in a chair on the side. He would never sit in that captain's chair again. Amaris was surprisingly firm, but her eyes—no matter how lizardlike—still carried with them an understanding. She sat in a chair next to his, and they remained quiet for a moment.

  “I never expected this treasure hunt to end up like this sort of way,” Amaris finally said. She followed her sentence with a forced laugh.

  “I expected it would be shitty, just not this much.”

  “What is shitty?”

  “Uh, the word is normally used to describe po… defecation.”

  “Well, that seems a bit extreme, to be honest, but I am forced to agree that this day has been shitty. I almost wish I had one of Collin’s smoking sticks. Well, maybe not that far.” She paused a moment. Gwyn wasn’t sure what to say back, so he remained quiet until Amaris filled the gap.

  “It is never easy having someone die. No matter the circumstances. I can’t say I’ve ever gotten used to it myself, but treasure hunting is a dangerous game, so perhaps I am a bit numb.”

  “I thought I was numb, but apparently not.”

  “Do you want to be?” Amaris looked at Gwyn in his eyes. Her soft expression seemed to invite him to say more. He turned the chair and stared at the buttons on the panel. There was no chance he was ever touching any of these.

  “I don’t know. And I don’t think I want to talk about my feelings or whatever you are trying to do. The more time we wait, the more we risk the others….”

  Amaris shook her head.

  “We are no good if you aren’t ready. You may not realize it, but your legs are still shaking. I am not sure you could walk right now.”

  Gwyn hadn’t realized, but made sure to tighten every muscle in his leg to lock them in place.

  “Alright, but I’ll be ready in a minute.”

  “You probably will be, so I will say this now. Consider it unsolicited advice from someone a bit older. It is okay to cry. Even at the risk of detection, it is okay to scream. I didn’t when I found my family dead, and I ended up snapping later down the line. You may think brave thoughts. You may map out how things will go and try to prepare mentally, but thoughts are only thoughts. They can only get you so far before you have to do something.”

  Gwyn wasn’t sure exactly what she was going on about, and yet it struck enough of a chord all the same. He nodded, then he felt his eyes begin to water and burn. He wiped at them, but it didn’t stop. Legs that had been locked loosened and began to quiver.

  He wasn’t strong enough; that stung. What truly rubbed salt in the wound, however, was that he felt like he could have been—should have been—and Mina wouldn’t have died. Even if she wasn’t truly dead as she claimed, it still didn’t matter. She wouldn’t have had to suffer. He could have saved her.

  Gwyn wasn’t sure if he cried because he was sad. Gwyn wasn’t sure if he cried because he was angry. Either way, he looked at the ceiling and screamed with whatever emotion was welling within him.

  When he was done, his body felt hotter and lighter. It was pleasing in a strange way. The kind of feeling he would get after a good bout of running, but still different in its own way. He stood up; his legs finally cooperated with his heart and mind.

  Mina’s dress became a liquid ball and then reformed into a sort of trenchcoat shape on himself. It wasn’t pretty; it didn’t need to be. He just wanted to take it with him.

  “Thanks,” Gwyn said to Amaris.

  “You can thank me by helping me rescue everyone else,” she replied with a soft smile.

  Gwyn nodded, and the duo headed toward the door.