“Revenge is a poison, Dèmi. Drink it and you can destroy your enemies, but you will die long before you see them take their last breaths.” ― Ehigbor Okosun (Forged by Blood)

  * * * *

  It is late at night, with the waves lapping gently against the sides of the boathouse being the only sounds that could still be heard. With the hour being what it is, Sera isn’t expecting anyone else to still be awake. Hence why she is surprised when she heard the sound of the door to the rooftop opening, and Kailey stepped out to join her on the roof.

  Both girls said nothing for several long minutes, though Sera was relatively certain that Kailey was seeking her out for a reason, especially at this hour. Considering the time, it is likely something that she doesn’t want to reach the ears of the others, and especially not Neil.

  “Something you want to ask me?” Sera asked at last, even as the minutes ticked by, and Kailey said nothing, merely settling herself next to her against the railings, just staring out at the pitch blackness, and letting the wind blow through her hair.

  “We met that guy, Leroy, not that long ago. And even Alisa.” Kailey said at last. Sera only made a noise in her throat to show that she was listening. “And I heard from Raul before that with Blade, there is at least one more confirmed survivor, though none of us have ever met him before. But we heard Raul talked about him enough. Even Letha.” She shook her head. “Honestly, most of those in the underground, and even the civilians, would have heard of him. He has a pretty infamous reputation. Nearly on par with yours.”

  “Kailey, just get to the point.” Sera got tired of listening to Kailey go around in circles. Though now that Zest had been brought up in conversation—albeit indirectly, she had a feeling she knew what Kailey wanted to talk about.

  And to be honest, Sera is already half anticipating for at least one of the others to approach her regarding this topic sooner or later, especially those that were formerly from pure civilian lives. Zest didn’t exactly have the cleanest reputation, even amongst the underground circles.

  Not to mention that Sera didn’t exactly keep it a secret—the kind of relationship that she had with Zest.

  That, and Sera is fairly certain that Leroy or even Alisa would have said something to Aegis when they were in the Abyss. Even back during her days with Blade, more than one of the others had mentioned off-handedly more than once about Sera and Zest’s relationship and the kind of direction it was taking.

  Kailey twiddled with her fingers—a habit that she had when she was nervous, even as she fidgeted on her feet, before finally managing to find her courage.

  “The reason why you constantly disappeared during the days when we have nothing scheduled… You’re meeting Zest, aren’t you?” Kailey said, almost stumbling over her words as she tried to bring it out as fast as she could. “The Black Demon?”

  Sera sighed. She hated the moniker that Zest had ‘earned’. Sure, his reputation helps during their Blade days. But it doesn’t change the fact that Sera still disliked the moniker that Zest had earned, not to mention his rather infamous reputation amongst the Abyss and the underground.

  “…I hate that nickname,” Sera muttered beneath her breath. “To be honest, if not Leroy or Alisa, I was already half anticipating for one of you to approach me about Zest sooner or later. He’s the only confirmed Blade survivor so far that none of you have met, after all.”

  Kailey sighed. Sera had always preferred the straightforward and blunt approach. It is how she’d always dealt with them, and Aegis had appreciated her frank and forthright manner. In that case, Kailey knew that Sera would prefer it if she just came right out and spoke what was on her mind.

  “You’re dating him, aren’t you?” Kailey asked, bringing the words out in a rush. “We all suspected it for a while now. But the duel at the Abyss, and then how you disappeared for at least three days after the duel pretty much confirmed it for us. That and Raul had all but stated that even during your Blade days, many have suspected that something is going on between you both.”

  “And if I am?”

  “He’s not good for you.”

  “Why do you think that?” Sera’s face was cold and unsmiling. Even under the darkness, Kailey could tell that she’d better pick her next words very carefully.

  “I-I heard rumours about him in the past.” Kailey was careful with her words. “Even amongst the civilians, there’s a whole slew of rumours about the Black Demon. I heard a little about the entire situation revolving around him from Raul, Letha, and even Leroy. He was—is, the person you trusted the most back in Blade.” Probably even now, Kailey thought to herself bitterly. “He earned his reputation for a reason, from what is said.” She took in a deep breath. “Whatever he does, Sera, you’re just going to accommodate him, and let him do whatever he wants, regardless of how much he hurts you. And you won’t be able to see it, because you’re in love with him. And probably even harbouring some guilt for what had befallen him, and Blade. You don’t say anything, Sera. You never did. But we all can tell.”

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  Sera sighed a long, deep sigh that seemed to sink deep into her bones. “Guilt? You think that I’m dating Zest because of some misplaced guilt?” she questioned Kailey. “I don’t do things that I don’t want to, Kailey. You know that.”

  “I do, but I also know you. And even the rumours about Blade. Especially those revolving around the Black Demon. Even before he joined Blade.”

  “Why do you think those rumours are true?”

  Kailey frowned. “You saying it isn’t?”

  “Not totally.” Sera waved a hand about. “There’s no smoke without fire, so even I admit that Zest did earn his reputation for a reason. But there are also similar rumours about me. Do you think that all those rumours are true?”

  Kailey spluttered. “That’s different! I know you—”

  Sera held out a hand to stop Kailey’s protests, a cold look visible in her eyes. “You know me, and you think those rumours about me are either false or blown out of proportion. You don’t know Zest, and you’ve already decided?” Sera smiled a cold, thin smile—one that sent shivers down Kailey’s spine. “Assumptions can be your undoing, Kailey. It is those assumptions about Gifted—propaganda started by the hunters that are the reason why Eldario is in the state it now is, and even why we started Aegis. Don’t assume, Kailey. Make your judgment based on logic and facts. Learn more about Zest before you make your judgment.”

  “You’re not denying that he’s dangerous.”

  “He is.” Sera agreed. “As is all of us. I don’t deny that Zest had earned his reputation long even before he joined Blade. But there is a reason behind it. I’m however not going to break his trust by telling you about his past. And anyway, this isn’t about his past. This is about me and him. And I’m going to now give you some advice that you don’t want to hear.” She said sharply, and Kailey sighed. “Stay out of what isn’t your business.”

  Kailey wanted to groan. Everyone knows how stubborn Sera can be.

  “Look, it’s not like we particularly care who you fuck,” she said bluntly. “But this is the Black—” She cut off her words hastily when Sera fixed her with a frosty glare, “I mean, this is Zest that we’re talking about. And I know you like him. Really like him, if I have to guess. But after everything that happened with Blade, I’ll be surprised if none of you are fucked up in the head.”

  Leroy and Alisa have admitted as much.

  “And I’m not saying that like it’s unreasonable. I know nothing about the gang culture, but Letha and Raul have said enough about it to us that we understand it. If my crew was set upon by hunters and nearly all of them died, and then followed by what happened next, I’d be fucked up too.” Kailey paused to let her words sink in. “I’m also not saying that you both should never date. But maybe not now? Maybe once things settle a bit?”

  “With all due respect, Kailey, my love life and who I fuck is none of your business.” Sera’s voice was tight in the way that it always is whenever she’s holding back from saying what is on her mind. At this point, Kailey could take a vague guess as to just what Sera really wanted to say to her. Probably nothing very polite. “I don’t interfere in wherever it is that you disappear off to whenever we have one of our free days, so I’ll appreciate it if you show me the same respect.”

  Kailey flinched with that mere mention. “I… We’re just worried, Sera.”

  “And I appreciate it, but I know what I’m doing.” Sera retorted, annoyed. “Zest and I are both adults. If there’s anything that the attack on Blade has taught us, it is that life is too short. And we already both agreed to take things slow precisely because of what had happened in the past.”

  “Which is great, but I still don’t think this is a good idea. You’re so in love with Zest that you’ll let him get away with shit that he really shouldn’t get away with—”

  “Kailey—”

  “—and while I don’t know him, I also know enough of what had happened in the past to also know that he’s also so desperate to be loved that he’ll let you get away with stuff that you shouldn’t get away with—”

  “You don’t know that—”

  “At this point, this relationship is a walking red flag.” Kailey continued like Sera hadn’t said anything. “And you are both going to end up more broken-hearted than you were at the beginning.”

  Sera pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off any incoming headaches. “Kailey, I’m only going to say this one last time. Mind. Your. Own. Fucking. Business.” Her voice is low and dangerous, and at this point, Kailey knew better than to push Sera any further. “Whether we end up brokenhearted or not is up to us. Okay? Stay out of my personal affairs.”

  Kailey chewed on her bottom lip nervously, but she honestly didn’t have the guts to push any further. Especially in regards to Sera’s personal life—none of which she knows a lot, anyway. The only ones who do in Aegis are just Raul and Letha. And maybe even Tatius.

  “It’s true that I don’t know enough about yours and Zest’s relationship to pass judgments. It’s just…” Kailey struggled to find the right words. “What does it mean to like someone? What does it mean…to love someone?” Kailey suddenly found the darkness very fascinating.

  Sera didn’t answer for several moments. “I wonder?” she mused. “When I first realised I like Zest… When I realised I loved him… It was when I realised he was always there for me. He accepted everything of me. He listened to me. Whenever I found a new book, or even something that I like, my first thought was always to share it with him.” Sera raised her head upwards to look at the stars above them. “Does the person you like constantly appear in your thoughts? Can you see yourself spending your life with them? Can you trust them fully? Bare the vulnerable parts of your soul to them? Are you constantly thinking of them?” Sera didn’t bother to wait for an answer. “The truth is that it’s easy to fall in love. But to maintain that relationship… That spark…” She raised her hand upwards so that she was partially concealing her view of the night sky above her. “Being in love is the hard part.”

  Kailey was silent for several moments before she finally turned to face Sera. “You’re not going to ask?” Considering Sera’s intellect, there is no way that she wouldn’t know what Kailey is worrying about.

  “I told you and the rest long ago that what you do during your personal time is your own business.” Sera shrugged. “We’re all adults, and I trust you to do what is best for yourself.” She pushed herself off the railing. “It’s getting late. You should turn in soon.”

  Kailey didn’t respond, only watching as Sera left the rooftop, closing the door behind her. Sera’s words constantly echoed around her head repeatedly.

  Does the person you like constantly appear in your thoughts? Can you see yourself spending your life with them?

  “…Jonan…” Kailey murmured. “Do I love you?” She let out a huff. “Of all the people in the world, why did I end up falling for an ESA agent?”