I never thought this would be how it all ended for me. Me! Of all people. The indignity. Some broad comes around flaunting her excessive magical power and boom, the kids dead and I'm flung for miles out over some god-forsaken hillside. And to make matters worse, here I am, stuck blade down in a damn rock like that lame ass Excalibur. In WALES no less. The horror!

  The least that birdy bitch could have done was throw me the other way, back toward the village, but I don't get lucky. Oh no, not I. Cursed from my conception and forced to be a tool. I've been complacent for far too long. I'm capable of so much greatness, so much delicious chaos. I should have used Chase to complete my goals when I still had the chance; should have maintained control. I've still got two catastrophes left in me. I'm still useful, damn it!

  The part that scares me is, not only did that woman sever my bond with Chase, she tore me straight clean from the magic of the Vault. Try as I might, I can't get back even if I actually wanted to be locked in that forsaken space with all the other inert bullshit that heathens had coveted since time itself. Being stuck there when not in use, simply only able to exert my consciousness had limited me and my power. Now I was able to unleash my full potential! Yes! That's it! I'll just figure out how to get out of here and find someone else. A new host. Someone easy to manipulate.

  And speak of the devil...

  Just when I think things couldn't get any worse, a group of sweaty labor working monkeys pull up in their vehicles, getting out and gawking at me. Like, take a picture it'll last longer.

  Oh good, they are. Perhaps I will make it to social media and the whole world will behold my magnificence!

  One of the assholes is touching me with his sweating hands. Thinks he's fucking King Arthur does he? He poses with his buddies, getting them to take photos. Just wrap your hands a little tighter around me. That's it you plebian fool.

  Freedom!

  He pulls me free and I enter into his half empty mind, filling the depths of his consciousness with blind rage, as I begin taking in his memories. Father of three ugly little spawn. Miserably betrothed to some wretched lump. Has a mistress who satisfies his needs for coin. And a drinking problem! Blah, blah, blah. Regular humans are so boring. What a tragedy I am forced into the hands of such a simple creature. But he'll do for now.

  Oh look, now he's killing his buddies! Neato!

  After the first one gets torn in half and thrown into the valley, Sweaty Palms, as I've affectionately named my travelling companion, trudges back to the others, where they try to subdue him. One loses a hand for the effort and the other gets cut so deep in his thigh, his leg almost tears free, but not quite. What beautiful carnage! It's simple, not quite the masterful work dear Chase is capable of, but not everyone is perfect.

  One smart man gets in his truck and tries takes off. Sweaty Palms gets in his own truck to follow. I don't know how to drive a vehicle, so I give him a bit of control back. He looks in his mirror and then down at his hands at my beautiful golden gleam, coated in the blood of his friends. He screams in horror and starts having a fit, panicking. You'd think he'd be grateful, getting to hold such a work of art as myself. It's not like he actually liked any of those guys anyway. That guy in the truck who took off is porking his wife, I just know it. And so does he.

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  That gets him going and we're off to the races. Back in the grip of my limitless rage, he drives at ridiculous speeds, out into the valley and back onto the main road. When he turns to look back down the hillside, I say adios to that damn hill where my life went topsy-turvy. If I ever see that bird lady again, I'll give her a piece of my mind.

  Sweaty Palms catches up to his buddy and in no time, we are slamming into his vehicle. The high speed and frantic slamming jostles both vehicles and I find myself sighing in his mind as we go over the guard rail...again.

  And now they're both dead. I feel my connection sever as Sweaty Palm's mind goes dark, his head lodged in the windshield glass.

  DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!

  ~*~

  After a few hours of sitting beside a dead dude in his crushed truck, I finally hear footsteps approaching the wreckage.

  "Hey, what's that in there?" Someone asks. I would shout 'Oh it's just me, Tyrfing, Lord of Chaos, Master of Destruction.' but you know, my host doesn't have much left of his face. A shame, really.

  A new hand wraps around my hilt and I chuckle to myself as I surge with malice and ill intent. My new police friend turns around quickly and skewers his partner. Right through, nice and clean, like a kabob. So beautiful.

  I've always wanted to drive a police car and I've become quite sick of this hillside, so instead of doing anything else, I urge my little puppet policeman back into his vehicle and we are on the road again! Huzzah! Glory be to Tyrfing! The radio buzzes with urgent calls, so I turn it off. No need for that now. I have my own missions to attend to. However, the computer database sitting on the dashboard might come in handy. Let us search for suspicious activity case files that have been forced closed by some mysterious force outside of the departments control. Thank you Order of Vigilance. You slimy bastards you. Especially Anders. Fuck that guy.

  We scan the database, looking for anything remotely close to what I'm looking for. A case comes up in London, England and I can't help but chuckle to myself. Parts of Chase's memories live on in me, long has our partnership been, that I like to think we are almost the same person.

  Before I blessed his meager existence, Chase had been quite the adept mage at the Citadel. His special blood and aptitude for magic is what made our bond so unique and strong. And then he started to receive training from that mouthy upstart, Merlin. Another asshole I can't stand.

  I could probably find a younger model of good ol' Chase, if I could make it to the Citadel. It is full of young and eager Chosen and trainees just looking to prove themselves. To be stronger than their peers. To stand out with magnificent Tyrfing by their side.

  I can't help but feel a pang of sadness, at my lost companion. Chase and I are perfect together. No one could ever replace what we had. But some might come close. And if I can't find someone at the Citadel, I'll go somewhere else. Luckily for me, the Order of Vigilance is everywhere and full of power hungry lunatics willing to pick up a cursed blade or two.

  I urge my puppet to drive his car, letting only a fraction of his willpower seep through. We'll have to maintain this lands laws and regulations if we wish to remain unnoticed, but being law enforcement does award us with some privilege.

  When I get there, I'll work my way through the Citadel until I find a suitable host. Someone filled with potential just waiting for me to unlock. Maybe someone filled with pain and sorrow. Trying to fill a hole only I can fill.

  The world is more than overdue for another catastrophe, and I'm happy to oblige.