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Chapter 4: When the Darkness Looked Back

  Darkness settled slowly between the trees. Shadows stretched, then merged; after a while, the path became impossible to distinguish. Ahead of her lay nothing but a depth shaded in black.

  ?lyara struggled to make out her surroundings. Her body felt as though it could no longer endure this pace. The throbbing in her head intensified; each step grew heavier.

  Her foot struck a hard stone. She lost her balance, a muted curse slipping from her lips. At the last second, she caught the trunk of a tree and avoided falling.

  Her heart sped up. She remained still for a moment, taking slow, deliberate breaths.

  How much longer could she keep walking like this?

  Hunger and thirst were becoming unbearable.

  The uniformed man seemed untouched by fatigue. He moved with the same pace, the same resolve.

  ?lyara saw him tilt his head slightly to the side.

  He had heard.

  A sudden warmth spread across her chest; her heart began pounding faster. Her steps slowed without her meaning them to.

  Had she given herself away?

  The thought gnawed at her. For the first time, it felt unmistakably clear that following him might have been a mistake.

  Then, without warning, the uniformed man stopped.

  ?lyara’s mind went blank. She was almost certain he would turn toward her. Her muscles tightened.

  But he turned in another direction.

  Relief rose inside her so sharply that she nearly felt ashamed of it.

  He moved toward a darker area where the trees grew denser and slightly quickened his pace.

  ?lyara frowned.

  Why was he speeding up?

  Was he trying to leave her behind?

  Without intending to, she lengthened her stride. The pain in her head worsened, but she refused to fall back.

  After a while, she saw him stop again. He had bent down and was gathering dry branches from the ground.

  Rubbing her chilled arms, ?lyara watched him carefully. The wind’s low murmur blended with the sound of wood scraping against wood. With swift, methodical movements, he cleared a small space and arranged a few stones side by side. Soon, sparks leapt between them.

  Flame rose slowly, illuminating a small circle within the darkness.

  At the sight of the fire, a quiet relief passed through ?lyara. At least she would be warm.

  But how could she approach while he was there?

  After a brief hesitation, she sat on a stone as far from him as possible yet close enough to feel the heat. She placed her hands on her knees and tried to steady her breathing.

  The firelight flickered across the uniformed man’s face in broken intervals. His shadow stretched along the tree trunks, expanding and shrinking with each movement.

  In that light, he seemed even more imposing; broad shoulders, rigid posture. There was not the faintest trace of hesitation in him.

  The forest’s murmur appeared to concern him not at all.

  When he suddenly straightened, ?lyara flinched. Her chest tightened.

  But he had only snapped a dry branch.

  Even after realizing it, her muscles did not relax.

  The uniformed man fed another piece of wood into the fire. Then his hand settled on the hilt of his sword. He did not sit. He remained standing, staring into the darkness.

  As if waiting.

  Without meaning to, ?lyara followed his gaze.

  What was he looking at?

  Suddenly, he moved toward the dark. He stepped between the trees and disappeared from sight within moments.

  Unease stirred in her chest. She fixed her eyes on that direction.

  She realized she was afraid of being left alone there.

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  The thought curved her lips into an involuntary smile. Despite everything she had witnessed, his absence unsettled her more than his presence.

  The forest had fallen almost completely silent, save for the crackle of the fire. Time seemed to grow heavy. She looked toward the place where the uniformed man had disappeared, but she could make out nothing between the trees.

  Just as she decided to stand, something stirred in the bushes. Her shoulders tensed.

  A silhouette stepped out of the darkness.

  It was the uniformed man.

  Something hung from his hands. As he moved into the moonlight, she saw that his fingers were smeared with blood. A dark, nearly black sheen stretched down to his wrists.

  ?lyara’s eyes widened. She took a step back.

  Then she made out what he was holding.

  Two dead rabbits.

  Their ears swayed loosely; their bodies dangled motionless.

  Without looking at her, the uniformed man walked toward the fire. He dropped the rabbits to the ground. From his pocket, he drew a small knife and began skinning them with calm, practiced movements. The sound of metal against flesh stood out sharply in the night’s stillness.

  ?lyara tried not to look. Yet her eyes drifted there against her will. The peeling of skin, the dark blood soaking into the soil, the bare meat lowered onto the fire… Soon the smell of burning flesh spread through the air.

  Her stomach tightened.

  She couldn’t tell whether it was hunger or what she had just witnessed.

  At that moment, her stomach growled.

  In the silence, it sounded far too loud.

  The uniformed man turned his head slightly and looked at her. The glance neither lingered nor fled.

  Flushing, ?lyara wrapped her arms around her stomach, as though trying to hide her hunger.

  He took one of the rabbits and began eating quietly. The sound of chewing, the occasional crack of bone, blended with the fire’s soft snapping. Then he removed the leather flask hanging from his belt and took a long drink.

  ?lyara realized she was watching the movement of his throat and quickly looked away. Her mouth was dry; her tongue clung to the roof of it.

  When he finished eating, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. He removed his sword, still sheathed, from his belt and placed it beside him. Then he lay down with his back to the fire.

  His back was to her.

  His shoulders were still; his breathing heavy but steady.

  ?lyara remained seated without moving for a while. Her eyes drifted to the second rabbit over the flames. She was no longer thinking about what the man might do or what he might be thinking—only about the meat.

  Slowly, she rose. Careful not to step on a crackling branch, she moved toward the fire. She tried to tell whether the uniformed man was truly asleep, but she could not see his face; his back was still turned.

  She crouched beside the fire. Hesitated for a moment.

  Then she took the rabbit.

  She began eating without waiting. The meat was hot; it burned her mouth, but she did not care. Grease ran down her chin. She had not been this hungry in a long time.

  When she swallowed the last bite, she noticed the flask. Before reaching for it, she turned her head to glance at the uniformed man. He did not move.

  She picked up the flask, opened it, and drank deeply. The cold water slid down her throat, extinguishing the dryness within her.

  She set the flask back carefully.

  Then she stood, moved to the other side of the fire, and lay down. The flames stood between them like a thin veil.

  For a while, she watched him.

  Just as she was about to close her eyes, his shoulder shifted slightly.

  Her body went rigid. She held her breath.

  His hand slid toward the hilt of the sword resting on the ground. Only for a moment. Then it stopped.

  His shoulders relaxed again. His breathing remained heavy and steady.

  She couldn’t tell whether he was asleep—or whether he stayed guarded even in sleep.

  Was it truly wise to sleep beside this man?

  She waited a little longer. When no further movement came, she slowly turned onto her side.

  The warmth of the fire heated her back, yet the unease within her did not fade.

  In the end, exhaustion overcame it.

  And she closed her eyes.

  ---

  Even with the fire’s warmth, ?lyara’s body did not relax. Sleep did not take her all at once; her thoughts blurred, and the sounds around her slowly drifted away.

  After a while, she felt as though she was standing.

  The ground beneath her feet was cold and damp. A heavy, metallic scent filled her nose.

  When she lowered her head, she saw a body lying on the ground. Its face was turned to the side. It seemed familiar, yet she could not place where she knew it from.

  She looked at her hands.

  Blood filled the spaces between her fingers. It was still wet, spreading across her palms.

  She took a step back.

  At that moment, the man on the ground moved.

  ?lyara’s breath caught. Slowly, he turned his head.

  His eyes were open.

  But there was no white, no iris. Only a deep black that swallowed no light.

  His gaze fixed directly on her.

  ?lyara tried to look away.

  She couldn’t.

  The darkness began to grow. The depth of that gaze widened, deepened, as though it were pulling her inward. The ground beneath her feet seemed to shift. She did not fall, yet she felt herself sliding downward.

  Her breath tightened. Her chest constricted.

  Fear surged all at once—something she could not control, could not explain, could not escape. Everything around her blurred. Only she and that bottomless void remained.

  She tried to scream. Her mouth opened, but no sound came. It was as if the darkness had swallowed her voice as well.

  Then she felt a firm pressure on her shoulder.

  Warm. Real.

  The void seemed to crack. The darkness recoiled.

  ?lyara’s eyes flew open. Her breathing was uncontrolled; her chest rose and fell rapidly. The firelight stung her vision. For a few seconds, she struggled to understand where she was.

  She saw the uniformed man at her side. He was kneeling, his head slightly bowed. His breathing was heavy and uneven, as if he had just run a long distance. His shoulders lifted and fell with each breath.

  ?lyara stared at him in confusion.

  “Are you all right?” she asked, her voice still trembling.

  He did not answer. He simply continued breathing.

  She hesitated for a moment. Then she reached out, and this time she was the one who touched his shoulder.

  The instant she did, the uniformed man flinched. With a reflexive motion, he shoved her hand away and pushed her back.

  ?lyara staggered a step.

  He lifted his head.

  Their eyes met.

  ?lyara froze.

  For the first time, his eyes were different. Not dull. Not empty. Something brief and uncontrolled flashed within them.

  Was it fear?

  His breathing slowly steadied. His brows drew together slightly. The familiar coldness settled back into his face.

  He stood.

  Without saying a word, he turned and walked away.

  ?lyara’s heart was still racing.

  She looked at her fingers. Opened and closed them. Turned her palm over as if searching for a mark on her skin.

  There was nothing.

  She touched her shoulder. The warmth of that firm pressure still lingered there.

  The crackle of the fire drew her attention. The flames were shrinking.

  The sky was beginning to lighten.

  They would have to set out again.

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