The next day is a mixture of activity and rest. Since I’d felt the notification come through during the time just before encountering Trouble and the new males, I know that the Gateway shouldn’t open too long before sunset. Since the longest day wasn’t very long ago, that means we have a lot of daylight to play with.

  It’s a little bit of a risk, but I decide to go hunting in the forest just to make sure I have enough meat to keep us all going for a good while if it becomes necessary. It will be stripped of Energy but it will still nourish our bodies. There’s no harm in having contingency plans, I reckon. I take everyone with me, just to make sure that if the Gateway opens ahead of time, we don’t have to make the choice between missing it or losing some of our number.

  The hunting has another objective too – it helps me get to know the three new members of the group as well as seeing how Trouble has changed.

  Because he has – the hunter that I see stalking through the undergrowth is worlds removed from the happy-go-lucky juvenile that I remember. He was never the best of hunters – he got bored too easily. But that’s changed. Now, his focus rivals what Storm’s used to be like and the hours of hunting prove that his prowess has grown to match hers too. He works well with Spot and Blaze, the three of them a very effective mini-pack. It takes a couple of hunts for them to settle into a strategy with Bastet and Ninja, and they still haven’t quite got the idea of working with the rest of us, but I’m confident we’ll get there.

  Trouble had been upset when he realised that Storm was dead, not just out hunting or hiding somewhere. He cuddled with Bastet for a while when he discovered that, and tried to cuddle with Ninja. His sister rejected him, though, swiping at him when he tried to insist, her claws bared and feathers fluffed. She only calmed down when he backed away and returned to pressing against Bastet.

  Ninja has been a bit odd recently – very snappy in a way that isn’t normal for her, and holding herself at a reserve. I’ve tried to find out why by pressing her gently, but she refuses to communicate with me. Not willingly, anyway, and I’m not about to use the Bond to demand something like that unless it becomes a threat to others. So far it hasn't – Ninja does what I ask her to as long as it relates to hunting or the pack’s benefit. But she’s stopped coming for cuddles and scratches, and when she sleeps, it’s away from me, and usually away from Bastet and Lathani too. Even last night she slept curled into a corner, separate from the rest of the raptorcats.

  I’d wondered whether she might choose to find a different pack – I cannot deny the connection between Storm’s death and Ninja’s new behaviour. Maybe she feels that we failed her sister and she wants little to do with us? But then the fact that she not only affirmed that she wanted to come with us, but also switched willingly to a Companion Bond makes that seem unlikely.

  For now, I’ll let sleeping raptorcats lie until or unless the division becomes clearly unhealthy either for Ninja or the rest of the pack. Perhaps the ongoing guilt I feel at Storm’s death is part of my hesitation to press, but I like to think that I’m just giving her space to work through it herself. Perhaps it’s grief which has her drawing away – that’s not out of the realms of possibility.

  Bastet seems to be taking much the same approach, which is reassuring. She’s there for Ninja when the young raptorcat wants to cuddle, but she doesn’t push if she doesn’t. I can tell that it’s difficult for Bastet too – the more Ninja draws away, the more often Bastet comes to me for physical reassurance. Lathani seems to have tried a more direct approach, but Ninja refuses to communicate with her about what’s wrong either and the young nunda seems to have given up in recent weeks.

  Death of a close family member is the worst thing in the world, and Ninja has faced far too much of it, even if the majority happened when she was a cub and probably barely aware of what she had lost.

  That could be another reason for her withdrawal – perhaps Storm’s death has brought up trauma from the past? But ultimately, unless she comes to me about it, I can do little. I know from experience unsolicited advice is usually unwelcome too. I’ve made it clear to her on multiple occasions that if she wants to speak to me, I’m here for her. The next step is hers.

  And for now we have other things to consider. I brought an end to the hunts at midday – I wanted to make sure we’re all well-rested for the Gateway this evening. Since then, I’ve had a wash in the river – first impressions matter, after all – though I’m still wearing my armour. Because first impressions might matter, but avoiding accidentally catching a case of death matters even more. I also made a cord of spider silk for us all to hold as we go through the Gateway and we’ve planned the order we’ll go in. It’s complicated a little by the fact that Lathani and Kalanthia still don’t seem to have come to a decision. The uncertainty makes me itch, but I make two plans – one with Lathani present, the other without her.

  And now, the sun is heading down towards the horizon and there’s little more that I can do. We’ve all rested, I’ve checked and repaired all of our weapons and armour. I’ve made sure that all my Bound are free of injury, and even worked on a few unhealed or old injuries of Blaze, Spot, and Orion.

  Sighing, I decided to check out my status screen. Maybe I’ll have enough Energy to give myself another stat point. Though, on second thoughts, that can sometimes take longer than I was expecting, and it’s not the sort of thing I can interrupt midway. So perhaps best not. But I can still remind myself of the progress I’ve made in the last forty days – maybe that way I won’t feel so restless sitting here and doing nothing.

  Although I wouldn’t say I’ve made massive advancements in anything, I’ve been trying to shore up some weaknesses, and get myself ready to face whatever Nicholas might be intending to throw at me.

  I haven’t managed to get above Initiate in my weapons’ Skills for some reason, but they’ve all improved from the amount of practice I’ve had working with the Warriors – in the event that my magic ends up being useless, hopefully my ability to wield several types of weapons will save my arse.

  I’ve also been working on my Transformation Skill – I know that that one will come in very useful. As of ranking up to Initiate, it now considers both my level in Transformation and my elemental Skill level when determining whether the transformation is successful. So far, that’s meant that it goes faster when I use Earth- or Fire-Shaping, but it’s had an additional unexpected effect – if I use it with my lower level Shaping Skills, it helps the Shaping Skill improve significantly faster than otherwise. My work with Transformation is a good part of why Metal- and Air-Shaping are both on the cusp of Novice and Lava-Shaping has already ranked up.

  I have used Meditation as much as I could, but that one seems stubbornly stuck at the top of Journeyman, as is Animal Empathy. I don’t know what I need to do with either of those to push them into Master, but hopefully I’ll have time to find out. At least using Meditation has given me enough Energy to work on my stat points manually. I haven’t levelled up – I’ve been using the Energy I’ve earned to gain points towards Strength and Dexterity.

  While working on Strength, I made an interesting discovery. Though not as impactful as my discovery about how stamina depends on Dexterity, and how it’s stamina regeneration that depends on Strength, I still feel that it’s important. Digging in deeper to why the points I added to Strength didn’t necessarily increase my stamina regeneration, I discovered exactly why there is a choice on level-up between Strength (Endurance) and Strength (Power).

  Both of them are found throughout my body, the luminous blackness which is the background of my internal matrix. But where Strength (Endurance) makes my body tougher, and more able to push through and continue without causing damage to myself, Strength (Power) allows me to extend beyond my normal limits – for a price. In many ways, they’re actually opposite – one a calm steadiness, the other a burst of strength. They both act on the body, but differently.

  When I discovered that, my status screen changed again, my Strength separating into two categories. And even more interesting, the entry for Strength (Power) now shows a ‘damage bonus’. Testing has proven that this is essentially a burst of power that I can apply with or without a weapon. But it’s not an invulnerability. I’ve hurt myself almost as much as my opponent, and sometimes worse – punching a wooden target without hand protection is not a good idea, no matter how much I feel like I’m a martial artist in a film.

  And even when I haven’t hurt myself on impact, use of the burst that Strength (Power) gives me seems to often lead towards tears in my muscles and tendons that resist my use of Flesh-Shaping. Once, using the burst of strength when striking at a tree trunk – and cutting more than halfway through in a single blow with my axe – almost detached several of my tendons completely. I have a feeling that if I want to increase this sub-category significantly, I’ll need to put a lot of points into Constitution.

  That’s unlikely to be any time soon, though. With twenty points dedicated to Strength since the invasion of the red leader and five to Dexterity, which brings both of their totals up to or above forty, it’s starting to get too expensive to increase them manually. And for my next level up, I’ll be working on Wisdom.

  It’s a pity that I wasn’t able to trigger another Soul Challenge – I was hoping that I would have the time to do that before travelling to Nicholas’ world. But I’m not going to push forward with it when everything’s telling me that I’m not ready yet.

  A notification nags at me. I immediately open it.

  here!

  here!

  here!

  here